


One

by Mando83



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cancer, F/F, Multi, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-23 10:48:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 40,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11988240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mando83/pseuds/Mando83
Summary: When the green-eyed, dark-haired woman walks into the cafe where Kara works, neither woman knows how much their lives are about to change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first fanfic, please be kind. Slow to start, but hang in there, it's going to be a bumpy ride! I hate spoilers, so the archive tags and ratings will evolve along the way!

The light filtered in through the large window of the nearly empty café as she passed a damp rag over each of the tables.  She was alone except for the middle aged man seated in the back corner nursing his third cup of black coffee. It was just before eleven o’clock which meant the lunch rush would be starting soon.  She could hear her co-workers in the back, as they made the final preparations on today’s special. She walked back to the counter, deposited her rag into a bucket, smoothed her apron, and exhaled.  It was her second week working at Clayton’s, and only her third living in National City. 

“Kara,” her boss, Clayton, shouted, “we need the bowls from the dishwasher!” 

Kara moved to the back of the restaurant and grabbed the stack of bowls, carrying them out to the front, and placing them in neat stacks next to the vat of steaming soup that had just been situated in the warmer.  Clayton appeared by her side, placing his hand on her shoulder.  “Thanks. You’re doing a great job.” Kara smiled weakly and shifted away from him, trying not to let her uneasiness show. Just then, the little bell above the door chimes, alerting them to the arrival of a customer.  Clayton smiled as he greeted the young mother who had just entered the café, two little ones in tow.  

Clayton is the owner of his namesake cafe, the newest downtown lunch spot, tucked into the corner just one block away from L-Corp, the newest skyscraper to dot the skyline of National City. He’s an attractive man with an average build and warm brown eyes.  He always looks as though he’s forgotten to shave for a few days, but the scruffy look works for him.  Kara practically had to beg him for the job, as he was looking for someone with more experience, but she assured him that she would work hard, and learn quickly.  Clayton hired her on the spot, and has been nothing but kind to her since.  

Kara rings up the mother and her children as a line begins to form.  This is her favorite part of the day, as the lunch rush makes the last part of her shift go by quickly.  Her shift is long, but she likes the 6AM-2PM schedule.  The restaurant finally clears and when Kara checks the clock again, it’s 1:27; she’s almost done.  She walks to the back to grab some water, and just as she takes a sip, she hears the bell above the door announcing the arrival of late-lunch straggler.  She sighs as she makes her way back out to the front.  “I’m sorry for making you wait,” Kara apologizes, “How may I help you?” 

The dark-haired woman looks up, her red lips turned into a slight smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.  “No need to apologize,” she replies looking around for a menu. “Is there a—“

“We only have one once choice for each item daily.  Today we have a turkey wrap, cheddar broccoli soup, or a half and half combo.” Kara interjects. 

“That’s something new. I like it. I’ll have the combo please, and a bottle of water.” 

Kara quickly assembled the wrap and ladled the soup into a container. She placed the items in a bag, along with some plastic utensils and napkins, and grabbed a water from the cooler case.  Pulling off her plastic gloves, she returned to the register and rang up the order.  “That’ll be $8.65 please.” Kara swept aside the stray blonde hair that had dislodged itself from her visor.  

The dark-haired woman pulled a crisp $10 bill from her purse and handed it to Kara, before turning to walk away. 

“Uh, Miss, your change!” Kara called out after her. 

“Keep it.” The unnamed woman replied, smiling over her shoulder as she crossed the threshold and disappeared into the crowded downtown sidewalk. 

Kara shook her head as she stuffed the bills into the tip jar beside the register. She didn’t  know it yet, but her life had just been changed forever. 

 

*****

 

Kara turned the key to her sister’s apartment, pushing her way through the heavy door. She dropped her bag on the counter and collapsed into the couch with a sigh.  Alex wouldn’t be home for a few more hours and Kara fully intends to enjoy the quiet.  Of course, Kara loves her sister, but she’s going to want to talk, and if there’s one thing Kara doesn’t want to do right now, it’s talk.  She doesn’t want to talk about why she suddenly left her job, her apartment, her friends, her whole life back in Midvale.  She doesn’t want to talk about why she showed up at Alex’s apartment just after midnight, three weeks ago asking if she could stay. She doesn’t want to talk about what happened, but eventually she’s going to have to, but for now, she’s content to just watch mindless television.  

 

*****

 

It’s just after 5 when she hears Alex at the door.  “Hey, how was work?” Kara calls out to the older woman.  

“I’m glad it’s over. Are you hungry? I picked up pizza.” 

“Now you’re speaking my language.” Kara reaches out for the boxes Alex has placed on the coffee table.  She pulls a piece of pizza onto her plate and opens a can of soda.  Alex flops down on the other end of the sofa.  She takes a drink of the bottle of beer she pulled from the fridge.  The two sisters exchange stories of their day while they finish off the better part of two pizzas.  Kara leans back on the couch, trying to avoid Alex’s gaze. 

“Kara,” Alex finally breaks the silence. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” 

Kara sighs. “Alex, I--I just--I’m not ready yet.”  Alex looks at her sister with kind, understanding eyes. Kara looks down at the floor, then meets her sister’s loving gaze.  “I promise I’ll tell you, I just need a little more time.” 

Alex nods and reaches for the remote. “Movie time?” 

Kara smiles. “Only if it’s not a horror movie again.” 

Alex sighs, “You always ruin all my fun.” 

Alex nudges Kara’s shoulder with her own before throwing a pillow at her younger sister.  They settle into the couch and start the movie. Kara pulls the blanket up over herself and stretches her legs over Alex’s lap.  They’ll talk eventually, but for right now, this is all Kara needs. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback so far! I was going to wait until tomorrow to post chapter two, but I decided to be nice. Enjoy!

Lena stares intently at the screen of her laptop, she sighs in frustration and rubs her tired eyes.  She glances down at the clock; it’s almost 2 and she still hasn’t had any lunch.  She pushes the button for the intercom and informs Jess she will be stepping out for a bit.  Lena rides her private elevator to the main level and exits the L-Corp building, turning in the direction of the little cafe she has been frequenting over the past couple weeks.  She pushes open the door and sees the familiar girl behind the counter.  

“Well hello again” Lena greets the blonde, smiling.  

“Hey. We’ve got your favorite soup again. Having the combo as usual?” Kara asks politely.

“Actually, I’ll have just  a bowl of soup today.  It is my favorite, after all.”

Kara ladles the soup into a bowl, filling it to the very top. She carefully presses the lid on and places it into the bag.  She folds some napkins around a plastic spoon and reaches for the crackers.  She throws in an extra package, remembering how the woman had mentioned how much she likes them.  She places the bag along with a bottled water on the counter, rings out the order and looks up at  the woman before her.  She’s met with green eyes staring back at her. Kara quickly looks down.  

“That comes to $7.45.” Kara announces. 

Lena searches in her purse for a moment.  She looks up, “I only have my card today, is that okay?” 

“Of course.” Kara takes the card from the woman before her.  She swipes the card through the machine and runs her thumb across the raised letters on the front of the card.   _ Lena Luthor _ . She hands back the card and receipt.  

Lena takes her card, smiling as she reaches for the brown bag.  “Thank you, Kara”

“You’re, uh, you’re welcome” Kara stammers, surprised at the use of her name.  The woman has been coming into the cafe a few times a week for a couple weeks now, and this is the first time she’s used Kara’s name.  “Have a great day” she manages to squeak out, as Lena turns to leave. 

 

Kara finishes out the last few minutes of her shift, grabs her bag from the back, and makes her way out the door.  She turns down the block and decided to cut through the park on her way back to Alex’s.  She freezes at the sound of a familiar voice. 

“Kara!” 

Kara turns to see the familiar customer from Clayton’s.  “Uh, Miss Luthor.” Kara replies, pushing her glasses up her nose.  

“Please, it’s Lena, and how--”

“Your card.” Kara explains, sheepishly.  

“Ah, yes. On your lunch break?” Lena asks. 

“Oh, no I’m done for the day. I’m heading home.” 

“I see,” Lena smiles. “Don’t let me keep you. I’ll see you soon.”

“Yes Miss Lu--I mean Lena, I’m sure I’ll see you soon.” Kara takes a few steps before Lena calls out after her. 

“Oh and Kara,”

     Kara stops and turns to face the other woman.  “Mmhm?”

“Thank you for the extra crackers.” Lena watches as Kara’s eyes light up.  She’s fairly certain this is the first time she’s seen the blonde girl really smile.  

“You mentioned once how much you liked them, so I thought…” Kara trails off. 

“This is why you’re my favorite.” Lena grins.

    Kara gives Lena a slight wave. “Bye.” 

“Bye Kara”

 

*****

 

Kara made her way up the stairs to her sister’s apartment. She walked through the door, dropped her stuff on the coffee table and walked to the kitchen.  She pours herself a glass of water and turns back towards the counter.  That’s when she sees it.  She picks up the slip of paper with the familiar writing on it, taking a deep breath. She clenches her eyes shut and shakes her head.  Kara drops the note back on the counter and stalks down the hall to draw herself a hot bath.  She slips beneath the water and settles back against the tub, the content of the note ringing in her head.  How could one word cause so much anxiety?  She wasn’t sure she was ready for this, but it appeared she wouldn’t have any other choice.  

_ Tonight. -A _

 

*****

 

Alex knew that her sister needed a push if she was ever going to open up about what caused her to pick up her life and move across the country. She also knew that if Kara was going to talk, she needed the right environment.  Alex stopped and picked up Chinese, Kara’s favorite, she even ordered an extra order of potstickers.  She decided at the last minute to pick up ice cream too, it could be a long night. 

 

*****

 

Alex and Kara enjoyed their dinner in relative silence.  Kara knew what was coming and she still wasn’t sure she was ready, but this was Alex. Alex who has always been there for her in her best and worst moments. At her core, Kara knew Alex would be there for her this time too, she was just so afraid.  She was afraid of how Alex would look at her when she found out. She was afraid that by saying it all out loud, it would mean that it was real, which was silly, because even if she never told a soul, it was still real.  

Kara’s heart was pounding in her chest. It was so loud she was certain Alex could hear it.  She took a deep breath and began to tell Alex everything.  Alex sat there silently as Kara poured her heart out through tears.  By the time she was done, Alex reached to wrap her arms around her sister.  Kara flinched away, but Alex pulled her closer, whispering soft words of comfort as she rubbed her sister’s back.  Alex felt the moment Kara finally relaxed in her embrace.  Alex realized she too was crying now, her heart broken for her little sister.  She just held Kara while she sobbed.  She wasn’t sure how long had passed, but the crying had stopped.  Kara’s breathing had leveled out and Alex knew she was asleep.  She could have slipped out and gone to bed herself, but she thought it was better to just keep holding Kara. She pulled a blanket over the two of them and leaned back.  

It all made sense now. Why her sister showed up at her apartment just over a month ago, needing a place to stay.  That wasn’t like Kara at all.  Kara never did anything without thinking it through, contemplating every possible outcome, weighing the pros and cons.  Kara was always so carefree and happy, most would have described her as pure sunshine. Since she moved to National City, she’s been more closed-off, more distant.  She’s lost her light, and now Alex knows why.  She softly kissed the top of Kara’s head and wiped away the tear that had escaped. “I love you, Kara.” Alex whispered softly before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am overwhelmed by the positive responses! Thank you SO much! I promise answers are coming, just a little longer.

It was a whole week before Lena saw Kara again.  Lena had been into Clayton’s every day after their brief chat in the park, but Kara hadn’t been there.  At first Lena thought perhaps she had been sick, but when two days turned to three, and three turned to five, Lena was feeling something she didn’t expect.  She was worried.  Sure, she didn’t know Kara well, but she knew how to read people; there was something more to Kara, Lena just knew it.  That’s what led Lena to do something she never thought she would. 

Lena looked around the cafe and saw only a man with a scruffy beard; no sign of Kara again.  The man caught her eye and turned over his shoulder.  “Danvers, you’ve got a customer!” Clayton called into the back.  Kara hurriedly made her way to the register, wiping her hand on her apron. 

“I’m so sorry, can I help yo--” She cut herself off when she finally looked up and saw Lena standing at the counter.  “Lena, hi”

“Kara,” Lena said smiling, “It’s so good to see you. I haven’t seen you in a while. Did they finally let you have a vacation?” 

Kara offered a soft smile.  “Nah, they needed me on the closing shift last week.” 

Lena made small talk with Kara for another minute before placing her order and watching as Kara assembled it.  Lena took the notepad from her purse and hastily scrawled a note while Kara’s back was turned.  Lena opened her wallet and pulled a crisp bill from its fold.  She took a deep breath and pressed it into Kara’s hand before quickly turning and walking out the door. 

Kara took unfolded the bill and looked down in disbelief.  She stood in shocked silence for a moment before she moved; Lena had paid for her $9 order with a $50.  There was a small note stuck to the money. She pulled it off and stuck it in her pocket. Kara placed the bill in the register and counted out the change, tucking it into the tip jar.  She finished out her shift and made her way home; the note from Lena burning in her pocket. 

 

*****

 

Kara sat on the couch in the living room of Alex’s apartment, her fingers running over the note from earlier that day.   _ Call me? _ was written above Lena’s phone number.  She took out her phone and carefully dialed the number; her thumb hovering over the call button. She quickly changed her mind, instead opening her text messages.  She typed out a quick message and hit send before she could talk herself out of it.   _ Hey Lena, it’s Kara.  I just wanted to thank you for the extremely generous tip today. That was so very kind of you.  _ She dropped her phone on the couch beside her and let her head fall against the back of the couch.  She wasn’t sure what she was doing or what was going on. Kara wasn’t the kind of girl that people gave their numbers to, but she knew she had to at least thank Lena for the huge tip.  Kara dragged herself off the couch and hopped into the shower, hoping it would help to clear her mind.

Kara emerged from the bathroom feeling lighter.  Dressed in her favorite sweats, her hair still damp, she plopped down on the couch and flicked on the television.  Alex would be home soon, and she knew her sister would force her to watch some action-filled cop show again.  She reached for her phone, pushing the button to wake it from its slumber.  She had a message waiting for her.  She couldn’t help the smile that played at her lips;  Lena had texted her back. 

 

*****

 

It had been several weeks since Kara and Lena had begun their texting relationship.  They had talked about everything and nothing all at the same time.  Kara looks forward to her messages from Lena.  She always wakes up to a ‘good morning’ text, and receives a ‘good night’ text each evening.  Lena is incredibly curious and asks lots of questions, but is never pushy about it.  Kara finds it to be rather sweet.  She’s not certain, but every so often the thought crosses her mind that maybe this could be more than just friendship.  She tries not to think too hard about it, but she can’t seem to shake the inexplicable happiness that floods through her every time her phone lights up with notification from Lena.  Then it happens.  The message that pushes her fleeting thoughts from ‘what if’s’ to reality:  _ How would you like to have dinner with me? _


	4. Chapter 4

Kara stared at her phone, the message from Lena still on the screen.  Her mind raced with thoughts of what this meant. Was Lena asking her on a date? Dinner invitations are typically dates, right? Her mind immediately began to talk herself out of that line of thinking. Surely it wasn’t a date. She heard the sound of Alex’s key in the lock of the door. Alex pushed into the apartment and threw her jacket on the hook in the hall.  She called out for Kara. “So, Maggie is coming over and I figured we’d get some food, what are you in the mood for?” 

“Umm, whatever.” Kara mumbled. 

“Oh my God, what’s wrong? Kara Danvers doesn’t have an opinion on food?!” Alex teased.

Kara only half heard her sister. “Huh?” Kara responded, finally looking up. 

“What’s with you? You’re weird tonight.” Alex crashed down onto the couch next to her sister. 

“I’m not being weird. I um, I just...I uh….kindathinkImighthavebeenaskedonadate?” Kara blurted out. 

Alex almost choked on her beer. “Hold on...go back just a minute. Start from the beginning.” 

Kara sighed. “So, there’s this customer that’s been coming  into Clayton’s.” 

“A CUSTOMER?! Kara Danvers breaking the rules. I’m so proud” Alex playfully punched Kara’s shoulder. 

Kara rolled her eyes, “Do you want to hear the story or not?” 

“Okay, okay. I’ll be good, I promise.” Alex sat back and motioned as if she were locking her lips. 

“So she was coming in pretty regularly, and then I was on closing shift for that week and when I came back she gave me a really big tip and left her number asking me to call her. Well, I texted her just to thank her for the tip and the next thing I knew, we started texting. A lot. And well, earlier she sent me a text asking if I’d like to have dinner with her.”  

Alex smiled at her sister, biting back a teasing remark.  “So, what are you gonna do?”

Kara leaned her head back and let out a groan of frustration. “I--I don’t know. She’s super nice and really funny. She’s really easy to talk to and, who am I kidding, she probably doesn’t even mean for it to be a date. I mean plenty of friends ask their friends to go out to dinner.  Yeah, definitely, it’s just dinner between two kinda friends.” 

Alex stays quiet, slowly nursing her bottle of beer.  She knows her sister, and her history of relationships well enough to know that if she pushes her in this Kara will completely freak out and shut down.  She’ll simply be here for her; be her sounding board as she figures this one out on her own.  Alex knows Kara hasn’t exactly been in many relationships.  There was Matt, back when Kara was in high school; they dated for just a few months.  In college Kara came out as bisexual and dated Katie for almost a year.  That just left Henri, and well, that didn’t end well, at all. Alex knows that this is a big step for Kara, even allowing herself to think that this might be a date. So she just stays quiet, internally laughing at her sister’s self-imposed turmoil.  

“Alex, what should I do?” Kara asks quietly.

“I think you already know the answer. You should pick up your phone and text her back. Don’t you know it’s rude to keep a lady hanging like that?” Alex matches Kara’s suddenly quiet and calm demeanor.  She gives her sister a warm smile before reaching out and handing Kara her phone. 

Kara takes the phone and opens her texting history with Lena.  She types out her reply and hits the send button. Now, all she has to do is wait. 

 

*****

 

Lena is finally done for the day, and begins to pack up her things after a rather long and tedious budget meeting.  She grabs her keys and purse and is about to step into the elevator when her phone buzzes. Her phone that is still on her desk. She stops the elevator door just before it closes and retrieves her phone, looking to see what the notification is from.  It’s a new message; from Kara.   _ Dinner sounds like fun.  _ Lena’s grin spreads from ear to ear, as she enters the elevator once again, and makes her way back to her apartment. 

 

*****

 

It’s been a fairly slow day for Kara. The morning rush was light, and the lunch crowd was steady, but not busy. She checks the clock; it’s only 1:15. Clayton joins her behind the counter. 

“Slow day, huh Kara?” He asks as he lifts the lid and stirs the kale and turkey soup.  

“Yeah. It makes the day go by to slowly.”  She grabs a rag and wipes the counter down.  

“So, how do you like National City so far?” 

“My sister has lived here for two years now, so I’ve been here plenty of times.  As far as living here, so far, so good. I’ve been staying with my sister, but just until I can get my own place.” Kara scrubs at some soup that has dried on the counter.  

“Come see me before you leave today, I’d like to talk to you about something.” Clayton says as he makes his way towards the back.  The door opens and the bell chimes. Kara looks up as Lena walks in.  Kara straightens up and tosses the dirty rag she’s holding into the bucket of soapy water on the cart behind her.  

Kara hasn’t seen Lena since she accepted her dinner invitation.  She stands there in silence for what seems to be entirely too long, though she’s certain it’s only been a couple seconds.  She tries to will herself to speak, but nothing wants to come out.  Finally, she opens her mouth and manages to breathe out a greeting. 

“Hey Lena” 

“Well hello, Kara,” Lena smiles, “What’s the soup today?” 

“It’s uh, turkey and kale. I’ve been told it’s really good; you know, if you like that kind of thing.” Kara looks everywhere but at Lena, desperately trying to avoid making eye contact.  

“Not a fan of kale, I take it?” Lena laughs. Kara simply shakes her head. “I’ll keep that in mind for dinner.” Kara isn’t sure, but she thinks Lena just winked at her.  It wasn’t a full wink, but just like a half of a wink, if that’s even a real thing.   

“Oh, yeah.” Kara feels her cheeks flush just the slightest bit, and silently prays Lena doesn’t notice.  The two women fall silent as Kara prepares Lena’s lunch.  Just before Kara rings her up, Lena breaks the silence. 

“Are you free tonight? I know a great little place if you like Italian food?” 

“Tonight? Uh, yeah, I’m free tonight.” Kara stammers, “And uh, yeah Italian is good.”

“Perfect!” Lena exclaims, “I’ll make reservations and send you the address. Shall we say, 7?”

“Sounds good.” Kara hands Lena her bag. “Have a great day and I uh, I’ll see you later” 

Lena takes the bag from Kara and sets it back on the counter. Kara looks questioningly at Lena. She opens her mouth to speak but Lena cuts her off before she has the chance. “Kara, I think I need to pay for that.”

“Oh! Yeah, right. Um, $7.45.” Lena hands Kara her card and watches as Kara fumbles with the credit card reader.  She bites her lip ever so slightly in an attempt to stifle the laugh that threatens to escape her mouth.  Kara hands the card back, along with the receipt. 

“Why thank you, Kara. I’ll see you tonight.” Lena takes her bag and walks out the door.  

“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight” Kara responds, much too late for Lena to hear. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this has gotten the feedback that it has! I'm so thankful for every comment, kudo and more! You guys are the best!

Kara finishes her shift and heads towards Clayton’s office.  Her heart rate spikes as she knocks timidly on the door to his office.  “You, wanted to see me?” 

“Kara, yes, come in, sit down. Give me just one second.” Clayton shuffles the paperwork he was looking over and tucks it into a file folder before turning to Kara.  “First, RELAX! You’re not in trouble, so you can wipe that worried expression off your face and breathe.” The older man smiles kindly in Kara’s direction.  Kara looks down at her lap and offers a weak smile in return.  “I’ve been watching you and I can’t say that I’ve ever had a worker quite like you before.  You learn things quickly, usually only needing to be shown once. You work quickly and are always looking for ways to stay busy.  You’ve never shied away from helping out wherever needed.  You’re friendly, great with the customers and I really appreciate you.”  Kara feels the red creep into her cheeks, unable to hide her blush from her boss’ kind words.  She doesn’t see herself as a great employee, she’s just shows up and does her job, isn’t that who it’s supposed to work?  

Clayton leans forward, leaning his elbows on the desk as he catches Kara’s gaze.  He continues, “Kara, I see a lot of potential in you and I have a proposition for you.”  

Kara blinks, “Okay” She mumbles, holding out the “o” just a bit longer than necessary. She absentmindedly plays with a loose thread on her apron. 

“I’d like to train you for a management position. It would be nice if I didn’t have to be here all the time, and I’m positive you’d do a fantastic job standing in when I’m not here.” 

Kara isn’t quite certain she heard him correctly. She stares straight ahead, unblinking.  “You want me to what? But I’ve only been here for like two months--”

“That doesn’t matter, you’re the best employee I have.  Of course along with the promotion would come a significant pay increase. I thought that might help you get into your own place a little sooner. Take some time to think it over, but I am confident that you can do this.”  

Kara nods, “I will. Thank you.” 

Clayton smiles, “Now get out of here before you spend your whole life here like me.” Kara leaves the office overwhelmed at the opportunity that has just been offered to her.  Her mind is so full with this new information she’s almost forgotten about her dinner with Lena. Almost. 

 

*****

 

Kara runs up the stairs to the apartment she’s been calling home.  She makes her way into her room and opens the door to her closet.  She stares at the limited selection and sighs.  She didn’t bring much in the way of clothes when she moved here, and she certainly didn’t have anything that would be appropriate for dinner with Lena Luthor, even if it’s not a date, which she’s still not sure about.  She picks up her phone and texts Alex.   _ I need your help. It’s a clothing emergency.  _ Kara flops down on her bed and closes her eyes.  A few minutes later her phone buzzes.  It’s Alex.  _  I’ll pick you up in 20.  _

 

*****

 

Kara steps out of the bathroom wearing the blue and white sundress Alex helped her pick out earlier.  She steps into a pair of strappy sandals she borrowed from her sister.  Her hair is half pulled back, the bottom cascading in soft curls down to her shoulders.  Her makeup is soft and not at all overstated and she’s opted for her contacts over her glasses, allowing her blue eyes to shine.  She smooths down the front of her dress and nervously looks to Alex. “Well?”

“Kara, you look amazing.” Alex beams. 

“You don’t think it’s too much?” 

“Kara. It’s perfect.” Alex places her hands on Kara’s shoulders and looks her in the eye.  “Lena doesn’t stand a chance” 

“Alex! It’s not like that. She’s my friend.” 

Alex just nods and pulls Kara into a hug.  “Just relax and have fun, okay? Date or not, just have a good time. Now, you’d better get going, you don’t want to be late.” 

 

*****

 

Kara arrives at the restaurant just before 7.  She steadies herself with a deep breath as she steps inside.  She is greeted by the hostess asking if she has a reservation.  

“Yes, it’s ummm for two...under--”

“Luthor.”  Kara hears the familiar voice and turns to see Lena standing behind her.  “Kara, wow. I almost didn’t recognize you. You look wonderful.” 

Kara feels her cheeks heat up. “Thanks, um, you too.” 

The hostess clears her throat, “ Miss Luthor, your table is ready,  right this way” 

Lena gestures for Kara to follow, “After you.” 

 

*****

 

Kara manages to make it through dinner without spilling anything on herself, which might be a first.  Kara had asked Lena how her day had been, which resulted in a rather lengthy discussion of L-Corp’s newest project.  Kara loves listening to Lena talk.  She’s not sure she has ever met someone who is so passionate about their job.  

“How was your day, Kara?” Lena asks as they are just finishing their main course.  

“It was actually pretty uneventful for the most part. My boss did offer me a promotion. He wants me to be the opening manager.”  Kara casually mentions. 

“Kara! That’s amazing. We need to celebrate. They have the best tiramisu here.” Lena exclaims

“Well, I’m not sure if I’m going to take it.” 

“Why wouldn’t you?” Lena implored.

“I, well, I’m not really manager material.  I’m not as confident as...well, as say, someone like you.”  Kara takes a sip of her water, not daring to look Lena in the eye.  Lena reaches across the table and rests her hand on top of Kara’s.  

“For what it’s worth, I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll do a great job.” Kara looks up and meets Lena’s green eyes briefly before looking back down again.  

“Hm, my boss said pretty much the same thing.” 

“See? You just need to believe in yourself a little more, Kara.” Lena smiles and removes her hand from Kara’s as the waiter comes to collect their plates.  Lena orders tiramisu for the two along with a cappuccino for herself, and a hot chocolate for Kara.  The two continue to talk while they enjoy the dessert.  Kara is amazed at how easily conversation flows between them, even though this is the longest conversation they’ve had in person.  Lena isn’t like anyone she’s ever met.  When the check comes, Kara reaches for her purse. Lena immediately stops her.  

“Lena, you don’t have to--” Kara protests.

“Nonsense, this is my treat tonight. I’ll let you treat me when you accept your fancy new manager position.” Lena says playfully.  

 

*****

 

The two women exit the restaurant and stand in awkward silence for a moment.  Kara looks down at her feet.  Lena breaks the silence after several minutes.  

“I had a really nice time tonight.” 

“Me too, Lena. Thank you, for everything.” Kara smiles shyly. 

Lena reaches out and pulls Kara in for a hug. Kara returns the embrace, wrapping her arms around the other woman.  

Lena steps back, “I hope we can do it again sometime.” She leans forward and kisses Kara softly on the cheek.  “Have a great night Kara.”  She turns and walks off into the night, leaving Kara standing on the sidewalk.  Kara brings her hand to her cheek and brushes her fingertips lightly over the spot where Lena just kissed her.  Her heart pounds in her chest and her mind swirls replaying all of the events of the day.  She has a lot to think about and decides to take the long way home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for reading, commenting and sending love! I promise, answers are coming! Thanks for joining the journey!

When Kara arrived home, Alex was waiting on the couch for her.  Kara tried to sneak to her room before Alex stopped her, but it was no use.  “Oh no, you don’t,” Alex called out, “You change, I’ll get the ice cream.” 

Kara exhaled, “Fine, but you’d better not eat all the cookie dough out of it again.”  Alex feigned offense as she opened the freezer.  Kara changed into flannel pants and a tank top and sank into the couch opposite Alex.  They each leaned against their respective end of the couch, pint of ice cream in hand.  “So,” Alex began, “How’d everything go?” 

Alex sat quietly as Kara recounted the events of her dinner with Lena.  When it appeared Kara was finished, Alex spoke.  “Okay, two things: First, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE OFFERED A PROMOTION?!” Kara was startled by the sudden increase in volume from her sister.  She offered an apologetic smile as she just shrugged her shoulders.  

“There was a lot going on today. Sorry.” Kara paused, hesitant to ask what the second thing was.

“Okay, but that’s awesome, you should definitely take it. I’m really proud of you.” Alex nudged her sister’s knee with her foot. 

“Thanks,” Kara replied, “So, that was only one thing...you said there were two.” 

“How’d you leave things with Lena?” 

Kara felt the heat sneak into her cheeks.  “Well, she said we should do it again sometime, and, uh, well, then she kissed me. It was only on the cheek, but, yeah. So that happened.”

Alex tried to read her sister’s expression.  She appeared conflicted.  “You don’t look entirely happy about that.” 

“I am. I mean, it was really nice. Lena is great, I really like her. It’s just…” Kara trailed off, staring down at her pint of ice cream.  

“It’s just what, Kara?” Alex pushed. 

Kara let out a deep sigh.  “Lena’s my first friend here that isn’t yours too. I don’t want to risk losing that.  Plus, I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more than friendship yet...after, you know.” 

Alex leaned forward and rubbed Kara’s arm.  “I know. You don’t have to say anymore.”

 

*****

 

Kara couldn’t seem to fall asleep that night. Her mind was racing with so many new developments from the day.  It was almost 3:30 before she was able to quiet her thoughts and finally drift off to sleep.  

 

*****

 

Kara dragged through her shift the next morning, the lack of sleep catching up with her.  It was around 11 when she finally worked up the nerve to talk to Clayton.  She knocked timidly on his office door.  He was bent over his laptop and looked up when he heard her. 

“Kara, come on in. What can I do for you?” He gave her a wide smile, knowing exactly why she was there. 

“I’ve thought about what we talked about yesterday, and I’ve made my decision.” Kara took a deep breath and looked at Clayton, mustering all the confidence she could manage.  “I accept.” 

Clayton let out a shout of excitement. Kara couldn’t hold back a grin. She certainly wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction from him.  “I hope you’re ready to get sick of me, because we’re going to be spending a lot of time together,” he teased, “let’s get started tomorrow, but for now, you’d better get back out there, it’s almost lunch time.” 

Kara stood and walked to the door.  She stopped and turned before leaving, “Thank you Clayton, I won’t let you  down.” She smiled and made her way to the counter just as a customer walked through the door.  

 

*****

 

Lena walked into the cafe just before Kara’s shift ended.  “Oh, Lena, I’m just about to clock out, but what can I get you?” Kara smiled.  

“Actually, I already ate. Business lunch.” Lena explained. “I just came in to see you.” Lena’s cheeks tinged with pink as she made her confession.  “I thought maybe I could walk you home?” 

It was Kara’s turn to blush.  “Sure, hang on just a minute, I’ll be right out.” 

Sure enough, Kara returned just a minute later, having collected her bag from the back.  “Ready?” Lena asked.  Kara simply nodded as they walked outside and down the block. Lena told Kara all about the fundraising gala that L-Corp was hosting.  Suddenly,  Lena stopped walking and turned towards Kara. 

“I was actually wondering if you’d like to go?” Lena asked. “It’s a week from Friday.”

Kara’s face lit up. “Really?” Kara asked in disbelief. 

“Of course, silly. Why not?” Lena laughed. “Is that a yes, then?” 

“Yeah.” 

The two continued on towards Alex’s, making small talk as the walked. Just as they arrived, Kara told Lena about her decision regarding the promotion, and she’s fairly certain Lena squealed with delight.  Lena pulled Kara into a tight hug. “Kara, I’m so proud of you!” Lena exclaimed as she leaned forward, placing a kiss on Kara’s lips. It wasn’t a long kiss, but too  long to be considered quick. 

Kara pulled away and looked down at the street.  “I’m sorry...I have to go.” Kara turned and walked away.  Lena called out after her, “Kara, please, wait!”   Kara didn’t wait, she just kept walking before she disappeared into the brick building.  


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe over 1500 hits! Thank you all SO much for reading! Keep the kudos and comments coming!

Lena stood on the street, trying to make sense out of what had just transpired.  She felt the familiar pang of hurt mixed with complete confusion.  She began to walk back in the direction of her office.  Lena began to replay the events of the day over and over as she maneuvered through the busy downtown streets. 

Last night, she had the most wonderful dinner with Kara. They talked and laughed and everything was so easy.  It was almost as though they had known each other for years, rather than just weeks. There’s so much about Kara that Lena appreciates.  She’s kind, thoughtful, funny, and sure, sometimes she’s a little awkward, but Lena finds it  absolutely charming. Kara is also the most beautiful woman Lena has ever seen.  She’s beautiful in a completely unassuming way; almost like she doesn’t realize just how beautiful she is. Given the chance, Lena will tell her each and every day.  

This morning, she couldn’t stop thinking about Kara. She knew she would be tied up with the business lunch, but she just had to see her.  She made her way over to Clayton’s right before Kara would be getting done with her shift, just to spend a few extra moments with her.  Kara had even agreed to go to the gala with Lena. Things seemed to be going well. Of course, Lena had to go and mess everything up by kissing her. 

Lena resolved that Kara must not feel the same way about her and while disappointing, Lena was okay with that.  She would be happy being friends with her. Lena needed to talk to Kara, to apologize.  She wasn’t sure how, or when, but she would make things right with Kara.  She had to. 

 

*****

 

Kara stumbled into Alex’s apartment and ran right to her room.  She threw her bag in the corner and crashed into her bed.  She laid on her side, arms curled around her torso.  Her mind racing through too many thoughts at once.  

She must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing she knew, Alex was banging on her door, yelling something about Maggie being here, so she had better be decent.  The dynamic duo barged through the door a minute later causing Kara to sit up quickly.  

“Hey Kara, we’re gonna call for--” Alex cut herself off when she looked at her sister.  She knew something was wrong.  She turned to Maggie, “Babe, can we have a minute?”  

“Oh, yeah, sure I’ll call for pizza.” Maggie kissed Alex’s cheek before heading out to the kitchen.  

Alex sat next to Kara on the edge of the bed. “Kara,” she began softly, “What happened?” 

Kara pulled her knees towards her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.  She purposely avoided looking at Alex; her sister could always read her like a book, and she just needed a minute before she allowed her to.  Kara buried her face against her arms and mumbled incoherently. 

“Oh, so that’s the problem” Alex teased.  “Kara, look at me. Please?” 

Kara slowly lifted her head and rested her chin on her folded arms. “I messed everything up, as usual.” Alex waited for her sister to continue.  “Lena met me at work today and asked to walk me home.  We talked the whole way, and it was nice Alex, it was really nice.  She told me about this gala L-Corp is having and she invited me to go. And then we got to just outside the building here and I told her that I accepted the promotion at work and she was so incredibly happy for me.  She hugged me tight and before I knew what was happening, she kissed me. Like on the lips.” Kara paused, taking a deep breath, “I freaked out Alex. I pulled back and mumbled something about having to go. I just...walked away.” Kara finally looked directly at her sister. “Alex, what do I do?”

Alex looked at Kara with nothing but love and understanding in her eyes.  “You know what you need to do.  You need to talk to Lena.”  Kara groaned, knowing Alex was right.  “Can I ask you something, Kara?” Kara nodded. “Do you like her?”

“Do I like Lena? Like  _ like _ like her? Yes. No. I don’t know.” Kara threw herself back on the bed, covering her face with her hands.  “I really like spending time with her. She’s so smart and funny.  She’s always asking me great questions and really takes the time to listen.”  Alex smiled at her sister as the realization washed over Kara’s face.  “Alex, I think I  _ could _ really like her, but I’m sure she thinks I’m an idiot now.”  

“Kara, nobody calls my baby sister an idiot.”

Kara rolls her eyes at Alex, “Yeah, yeah.” 

“Talk to Lena. Explain everything. I promise it’ll help. Now, let’s go eat some pizza, before Maggie starts going through the photo albums in the living room and finds proof of my punk phase.” 

Kara laughs and it’s music to Alex’s ears.  Kara looks up at the taller Danvers girl. “Thanks, Alex.” Alex pulls Kara into a hug.  

“That’s what I’m here for.” Alex teases. 

 

*****

 

It’s been three days since their kiss on the street, and Lena still hasn’t heard from Kara. She figured Kara would want some space.  Lena desperately wants to reach out to her, to go see her, to talk to her, but she doesn’t know if it would be welcome or not.  She decides it’s worth the risk and pushes the intercom button. “Jess, could you come in here for a moment?” 

 

*****

 

It’s Kara’s first morning to open alone.  Clayton has assured her she’s ready, even though it’s only been a few days since she started training with him.  The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon as she approaches the door.  She lets herself in the back with the key Clayton gave her.  She begins the opening procedure she’s had drilled into her head.   _ Start the coffee brewing, stock the pastry case, count the register, unlock the door.  _  She finishes everything and checks the clock; it’s 6:00; time to open.  She walks to the front door and flips the sign from CLOSED to OPEN, unlocks the latch and is about to turn to head back to the counter when something catches her eye outside the door.  She pulls the door open, the bell overhead cutting through the still silence.  On the stoop outside the cafe is a single yellow rose, and an envelope with her name on it.  Kara retrieves the card and flower and stashes them in the back,knowing she can’t read it here. She sets the rose in a makeshift vase to keep it from wilting and returns to the front just in time to greet her first customer. 

 

*****

 

Lena wakes to the sound of her alarm clock.  She stretches lazily and wipes the sleep from her eyes, before dragging herself out of bed and making her way into the shower.  She wraps herself in a towel and stands before her closet flipping through for something to wear.  It’s 7 already. Kara should have found the note by now.  Now all she has to do is wait for a response; if one ever comes.  

 

*****

 

Kara survived her first day in charge.  She grabs her things and rushes out the door.  She practically runs back to the apartment, bounding up the three flights of stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.  She drops her bag next to the doorway, and pulls the envelope from her bag.  She climbs onto the couch, tucking her legs underneath her.  She brushes her fingers along the letts across the front, before tucking her finger under the flap and lifting gently.  She pulls a note from inside and turns it over.  There’s a one line of text written neatly in the center of the cardstock.  

_ I’m sorry. Could we please talk? I miss you. -L _

Kara’s heart clenches as she reads the words.  She exhales and reaches for her cell phone. She tries in vain to steady her trembling hand as she types out the message.  _  Coffee tomorrow?  _ She presses send and suddenly feels as though she may throw up.  Her pulse quickens when the reply comes through.   _ Just tell me when and where; I wouldn’t miss it for the world. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Answers lie just around the bend....hang in there!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****NOTE: This chapter involves discussion of an unhealthy/emotionally abusive relationship. If this is something that you may find to be a trigger, please skip this one.*****
> 
> Sorry for the delay! I wanted to have this up earlier but it's been a very busy day!

Lena wanted to make sure she was early to meet Kara.  Kara had suggested the park around the corner from Clayton’s.  Lena insisted that she  bring coffee, which Kara agreed to reluctantly.   It was 2:05 when Lena arrived and sat at the stone picnic table, beneath the shade of a flowery tree.  They had agreed to meet at 2:15, just after Kara finished her shift at the cafe.  Lena took her phone from her pocket and reminded Jess that she wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day.  Lena knew Jess had already cleared her schedule, but she needed something to keep her mind busy as she waited for Kara to arrive.  It wasn’t long before she felt the presence of someone standing on the other side of the table.  The sudden wave of butterflies in her stomach caught Lena off guard.  She took a deep breath to center herself before looking up somewhat timidly.  “Hey.” Kara caught Lena’s gaze for just a split second before looking away.  Lena smiled softly, slightly tilting her head.  “Hi, Kara.”

Kara stood awkwardly for a moment before noticing Lena’s gesture for her to sit.  She settled into the bench across from Lena.  She piled her bag next to her and laid her hands in her lap, knotting her fingers together below the table.  Kara’s gaze seemed to be locked on the table before her.  The tension hung between the women thick and uncomfortable, neither one daring to speak just yet.  Lena pushed Kara’s coffee towards her, “I got that sweet one you like.”  Lena’s voice was softer than usual, Kara noticed.  She half-heartedly smiled. “Thank you.”  

They sat in silence for another few moments while they each worked up the courage to speak.  

“Kara,”   “Lena,”    The two women began at the same time. 

“Kara, please, may I go first?” Lena looked at Kara expectantly.  Kara nodded, though she pretty much knew what to expect.  Kara picked at her fingernail under the table.  

“Kara, I’m sorry.  This is all my fault; I shouldn’t have kissed you without knowing that’s what you wanted as well.” Lena paused to take a breath.  “ It’s no secret that I like you. In fact, I really like you and would have loved the chance to become more than friends. You have so many wonderful qualities.  You have such a beautiful heart.”  Lena couldn’t help but notice that Kara hadn’t moved her gaze from the coffee cup in front of her.  “You make me happy, and while you may not want the same kind of relationship I do, that’s okay.  I still want to spend time with you. I still want to continue to get to know you. I still want to be your friend, if you’ll have me that is.” 

Kara sat in silence as she took in the words of the dark-haired woman across from her. Lena waited to see if there would be a response.  She watched as Kara opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.  Lena hadn’t expected her heartfelt speech to fix everything, but she hoped it would be a start.  “I’m sure you still need some time.  I want you to know I’ll be here whenever you’re ready. If ever you’re ready.”  She moves to stand from the table and feels Kara’s hand suddenly on her wrist.  

“Wait…” Kara whispered, barely loud enough for Lena’s hears to register.  Lena settles back down and meets Kara’s uncertain gaze with soft, understanding eyes.  Kara looks back down at the table again before quietly beginning to speak.  “I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have stormed off like that.”  

“Kara, you have nothing to be sor--” 

Kara cuts Lena off, “I do. I’m sorry because, I made you think that I don’t feel the same way, ” Kara exhales, “because I can’t give you what you want.” Lena opens her mouth to speak, but thinks better of it.  Kara’s next words come out at barely a whisper,  “I’m sorry, for being too afraid to try.”  

“Kara, I don’t understand.” Lena says softly. Kara turns her head, staring off across the park. She looks back toward Lena, but refuses to look her in the eye. She knows she has to do this, and it has to be now.  

“My last relationship was what most would consider perfect. Henri and I did everything together, except work.  He was the funniest guy I’ve ever met, and could make me smile even when I was having the worst day ever.  He was smart and funny, and so talented.  Henri was the perfect boyfriend, until he wasn’t.”  Kara wiped the tears that slipped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t bear to look at Lena as she continued on.  “It started slowly. He was always texting me wanting to know where I was and who I was with.  He became increasingly jealous and paranoid.  Before I knew it, we were fighting all the time, over nothing.  He’d always apologize after, and would go back to being the Henri I knew and loved, and so I stayed, until…” Kara’s voice trailed off, unwilling to go any further to finish the story. 

Lena wiped the tears that had escaped her own eyes.  “Kara, I’m so sorry that happened to you.” She reached across the table and gently lifted Kara’s chin to look her in the eyes.  “You did not deserve any of that. Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it wasn’t easy.”  Kara closed her eyes tight, then opened them slowly.  She took a shuddering breath.  

“Lena, it’s not that I don’t want more with you, it’s just, I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”  Kara finally manages to look at Lena.  She sees the remnants of the tears in Lena’s piercing green eyes.  

“We don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, Kara.  I would really like to be your friend though.”  

“I’d like that too, Lena.” Kara sniffled. Lena smiled through soft, pink lips.  She reaches into her purse and pulls out a packet of tissues, handing them to Kara. 

“Thanks” 

“What are friends for, right?” Kara can’t fight back the laugh that escapes from her lips. Lena smiles wider, before her expression turns serious.  Kara notices the shift in her friend’s countenance.  

“Kara, can I ask you a question?” 

“Sure” Kara feels her stomach twist, suddenly anxious at what Lena wants to know.

“Are you hungry, because I could really go for some potstickers right now.” Lena’s serious expression melts and gives way to a mischievous smile. Kara’s eyes brighten as she smiles a real, full smile.  Lena thinks it’s the most beautiful sight in the world.  

“You know I’ll never turn down potstickers.” Kara laughs. She knows in this moment that somehow everything between her and Lena is going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, no, this isn't over yet!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all for reading! I love feedback, so keep the comments coming! :-)

Chapter 9

It doesn’t take long before Kara and Lena settle back into their easy friendship.  Kara seems to be relaxing more and more with Lena, her guard slowly coming down.  Lena can tell, and nothing makes her heart happier than to realize that Kara trusts her, or at least is beginning to.  It’s been two months since they had their talk in the park, and Kara has completed her management training, officially running Clayton’s  in the morning.  She’s moved into her own apartment, and while it’s small, it’s perfect for her.  Lena couldn’t be more proud of Kara, and doesn’t hesitate to remind her of that, every chance she gets.  Lena never mentions anything about her feelings for Kara, and Kara assumes Lena doesn’t feel that way anymore.  Things are good between them. 

 

*****

 

It’s a Friday night, three months later that changes everything.  The women have a standing movie night each week and they’ve worked out a system where one selects the movie and the other chooses dinner. It’s Lena’s night to pick the movie, which means they’ll be having either pizza or Chinese, since Kara can’t ever manage to pick anything other than one of those.  Lena has the DVD cued up and ready to go, when she hears a knock on the door.  She smiles and shakes her head because it doesn’t seem to matter how many times she tells Kara to just come in, she still knocks.  

Lena opens the door and addresses Kara with her business woman formality, “Good evening Miss Danvers, please come in.”  

Kara rolls her eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop knocking.” 

“Mmhm, sure.” Lena muses. 

“Really, I will!” Kara sets the two boxes of pizza on the counter.  The two grab plates and fill them with slices of pizza, before settling into their places on the couch.  Lena picks up the remote and presses play to begin the movie.  It’s her favorite romantic-comedy, and is a welcome departure from their typical superhero, action movies, or suspenseful thrillers that they usually enjoy.  Lena notices that Kara has put more distance than usual between them, but she tries not to think too much of it and turns her focus back to the television screen.  The movie finishes and Lena turns the tv off.  Kara seems more quiet than usual tonight though not unhappy, just quiet.  After a few moments, Lena speaks up, “Hey, are you okay tonight?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” Kara replies. 

“Well, first, you didn’t talk at all during the movie, which we both know NEVER happens,” Lena says teasingly.  “And, on top of that, you have yet to raid my freezer for ice cream.” 

Kara lets out a sarcastic laugh, “Ha ha, very funny”

“But seriously Kara, what’s up? Lena turns herself to face Kara, leaning back against the arm of the couch.  

“I’ve just been thinking,” Kara begins, “do you think that happens for everyone?” 

Lena blinks back at Kara, not quite following her train of thought. “Does what happen for everyone?” 

“That.” She points her hand toward the blank television. Lena’s confusion gives way to understanding as Kara goes on.  “Happily-ever-after...Love.”  Kara looks down at her lap and fidgets with her fingers.  Lena pauses for a moment before she speaks.  

“I believe that it  _ can _ happen for everyone.  Does it? Well, that’s a little harder.  Relationships of any kind take work; romantic ones perhaps even moreso.  I believe there’s someone out there for everyone, not in a hard and fast, soulmate, only one person for everyone kind of way, but just that everyone can find someone right for them, if they want that.” 

Kara takes in Lena’s words and turns them over in her head for a moment.  Her gaze meets Lena’s for a split second before returning to her lap.  “Even for someone like me?” Kara speaks so softly that Lena almost doesn’t hear it.  

“Especially you.” There’s no hint of uncertainty in her response.  “Kara Danvers, you are such an amazing woman, and there isn’t a human on this planet that truly deserves you.  You have a heart of pure gold. You’re smart and funny and so very kind. ” Lena hesitates slightly before adding somewhat playfully, “and you’re so beautiful, which always helps. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.”  

It takes a minute for Lena to register the fact that Kara’s lips are pressed against hers.  Her heart rate increases and too many thoughts crowd her mind at once.  Lena allows herself to kiss back, every so slightly.   Kara pulls back, kneeling on the couch, facing Lena, their faces just inches apart.  Lena blinks, but doesn’t say anything.  She wait to see if Kara is going to speak, but when it appears she’s not going to, Lena speaks.  “Kara?” 

Kara looks up to meet Lena’s green eyes.  “I’m still scared, Lena, but...I’m ready to try to not be.” 

Lena smiles adoringly at Kara, “Are you sure?” 

Kara nods, “Yeah, I’m sure.”  

“Okay,” Lena reaches for Kara’s hand, taking it in her own. She squeezes reassuringly.  “We’ll take things as slowly as you need to.  You just have to promise to talk to me, and let me know if it’s too much, deal?”  

Kara squeezes Lena’s hand in agreement, “Deal.” 

“In that case, Kara Danvers, would you like to go on a date with me?” 

“Yes, yes I would.”  

Lena smiles, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on Kara’s cheek.  This certainly wasn’t how Lena expected their movie night to turn out, but she’s so glad it did. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, the response is overwhelming! I love it! Let me know what you think!

Lena spends entirely too much time planning her first official date with Kara.  She wants it to be perfect, but everything she comes up with seems like too much, or not enough.  Filled with sudden inspiration, she reaches for her phone.  After a few moments, arrangements are made and she smiles happily.  She knows Kara will still be at the cafe, so she decides to pay her a visit.  

 

*****

 

Lena walks through the door of Clayton’s and is greeted with a bright smile from Kara.  “Hey beautiful.” Lena says, meeting Kara’s smile with one of her own.  She notices Kara’s cheeks tinge with pink; she loves that.  

“Hey Lena.  Are you here for lunch?” 

“I came to talk to you, do you have a minute?” 

Kara looks around at the empty cafe.  “Well, it is pretty busy in here, but the manager here is pretty chill, so I think I can spare a few.”  Kara leans against the counter. 

Lena can’t help but grin at Kara’s self-promoting comment.  She almost can’t believe this is the same woman in front of her that she met all those months ago.  It warms her heart to think that maybe, just maybe, she had a tiny bit to do with that.  

“I do believe you accepted an invitation to go on a date with me, and I’d like to know if tomorrow would work.” 

Kara’s feels heat creeping into her cheeks, powerless against Lena’s words.  “Tomorrow would be perfect.”  

“Great, I’ll pick you up at 5:00.”  Lena lets her hand brush over Kara’s before turning to leave.  She can feel Kara’s eyes follow her out of the cafe, and she cannot hide her smile as she heads back to her apartment to finalize her plans. 

 

*****

 

Kara is buzzing around her apartment, frantically trying to finish getting ready for her date.  Lena will arrive in less than 30 minutes and she’s not even dressed yet.  Alex helped her pick out the perfect outfit; dark wash jeans and a light pink top that made her blue eyes stand out even more.  She pulled her hair back, though not up, and ran pink lip gloss over her lips.  Lena hadn’t told her anything about where they were going, only that she should dress comfortably.  She opted for her gray flats and slipped them on just as she hears a knock on her door.  She checks herself once more in the mirror, and opens the door.  

 

*****

 

Lena steps off the elevator and makes her way down the hall to Kara’s apartment.  She wonders if the small bouquet of flowers in her hand is too cheesy for Kara.  She shakes off the thought, especially since it’s too late to do anything about it now.  She stands before the door and takes a deep breath. She raises her hand and knocks twice.  The door swings open and there stands Kara. Lena gasps softly at the woman before her.  “Kara, you are breathtaking.” 

Kara’s cheeks turn red and she looks away, “Thanks,” she mumbles, “you look great too.” 

Lena smiles and extends her hand with the flowers, “These are for you.” 

Kara’s face lights up as she takes the bouquet, bringing them to her nose to take in their deep fragrance.  “Thank you, Lena.” Her voice drops to just above a whisper, “Nobody has ever brought me flowers for a date. They’re beautiful.”  

“Not nearly as beautiful as you.” Lena replies.  Kara turns to find a vase to put the flowers in.  She adds some water and places them on the counter.  Lena watches her attentively, smiling the entire time.  

“Shall we?” Lena motions toward the door.  Kara smiles and heads toward the door, Lena just a step behind. 

  
  


*****

 

Lena leads Kara to her car, pausing to open the passenger side door for her.  Kara slips into the seat and settles herself as Lena carefully closes her in.  They begin to drive and rather than heading downtown, as Kara expected they would, Lena heads outside of the city.  

“Do I get to know where we’re going yet?” Kara asks.

“You’ll see when we get there.” Lena replies with a smile.  

They drive in comfortable silence for a bit before Lena pulls down an unmarked side road.  Lena parks the car and asks Kara to wait, as she walks around and opens the door for her.  Lena offers Kara her hand as she pulls herself up out of the vehicle.  Kara looks around and sees the most beautiful park she has ever visited.  “It’s beautiful, where are we?” Kara asks. 

“Cedardale Public Garden. I discovered this place last year when I took a drive to clear my head. It’s been my favorite place to visit ever since.  It’s somewhere I come when the city becomes too much. It’s my safe place.” Lena smiles shyly.  “But this is just the parking lot, so come on, let’s go.”  

Lena thinks of reaching for Kara’s hand, but promised to take things slowly, and doesn’t want to push Kara at all, so she lets her hand swing by her side.  Every so often, her hand brushes against Kara’s, sending a shock through her entire arm.  After the third time it happens, Lena cautiously hooks her pinky around Kara’s, waiting to see her response.  Kara looks down at their now linked hands before looking at Lena.  Lena looks to Kara, silently asking if the contact is okay.  Kara simply nods, as they continue walking.  

They stroll along the paths laid out through the park, carrying on in casual, comfortable conversation.  They come to a split in the path and Lena gently leads them to the right.  Lena watches as Kara’s expression turns to surprise as she notices the display before her.  There’s a huge picnic blanket spread under the shade of a large, flowering tree. There’s food spread in the center of the blanket and Kara can’t help but notice the potstickers.  Kara beams with joy as she turns to face Lena.  

“How did you--When did you--?” Kara begins, but cuts herself off. 

“I take it you like it then?” 

“Lena, I love it. This is amazing.” 

Lena smiles widely. “Let’s sit and eat before it all gets cold.”  

The two women make themselves comfortable and begin picking at the buffet of food before them.  Lena notices that Kara hasn’t stopped smiling once since they arrived.  They finish eating and Lena stands, offers her hand to Kara and pulls her to her feet.  “We’re not done yet, come on.” Lena moves her hand to reach for Kara’s, but pulls it back quickly.  Kara notices and reaches her own hand out, slipping it into Lena’s.  The two smile at each other as Lena leads them further into the park.  

“Shouldn’t we clean up first Lena?” 

“Don’t worry, it’ll be taken care of by the time we get back.” Lena winks.

Kara and Lena walk through the park hand in hand talking and laughing.  They come to a bridge stretched across a small pond.  Kara almost drags Lena to the center of it, excitedly pointing out the ducks swimming below.  Kara leans against the railing, watching as the ducks swim in circles.  “Hey Lena, what’s a duck’s favorite food?” 

Lena thinks for a moment, “Well, if I remember correctly, they eat aquatic plants and insects.” 

“Nope, you’re wrong. It’s quackers!” Kara can’t help but laugh at her own joke.  Lena joins in and they stand on the bridge laughing together.  

The sun is beginning is just beginning to set and Lena takes Kara’s hand again, leading her toward the flower garden.  Situated in the center of the garden is a small table with two chairs.  There’s a lit candle and a platter of assorted desserts in the center of the table.  Lena pulls out Kara’s chair before she takes her own seat.  They enjoy their dessert as the sun sinks lower in the sky.  

They make their way back through the park, towards the car.  They’re crossing back over the pond when Kara tugs Lena’s hand, signalling her to stop.  Lena turns toward Kara, a questioning look in her eyes.  “You didn’t have to do all of this you know.” Kara confesses. 

Lena tilts her head slightly, “I wanted to. You are amazing, and deserve to be treated as such.” Lena takes Kara’s hands in hers, leaning down to softly kiss her knuckles.  

Kara blushes as she looks deep into Lena’s eyes. “Thank you. For bringing me here.” 

Lena smiles, “I’m happy to share my favorite place with my favorite person.” 

Kara wraps her arms around Lena’s neck, hugging the other woman tightly.  She pulls back and the pair lock eyes.  Lena waits, looking for the slightest sign of permission, but she doesn’t need to wait long.  Kara leans in, her forehead resting against Lena’s.  Lena leans forward, closing the distance between them, and kisses Kara fully for the first time. The sky around them fills with vibrant colors as the sun meets the horizon and the rest of the world seems to stop. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short one, but it will usher us into some bigger things! Stay tuned and feel free to leave some love! As always, thank you so very much for reading!

Kara’s alarm blares from its perch on her nightstand.  She reaches her hand out and swats at it blindly, feeling for the button to silence the offending noise.  Pulling herself from the warm confines of her bed she stalks to the bathroom to get ready for her day.  She flips on the light, squeezing her eyes shut to lessen the sudden assault on her sight.  She slowly blinks them open, allowing time to adjust to the brightness around her.  Kara focuses her eyes on the mirror and that’s when she sees it; a small yellow sticky note, sticking out of the right side of the medicine cabinet.  She slides the door open and inspects the message.  _ Have a great day! -L _  She pulls the note from its perch, shaking her head and smiling wide.  She reaches for her phone, sending a quick text to Lena.   _ I still don’t know how you always do that. Thank you. :-)  _  Kara reaches for her toothbrush and as she squeezes the toothpaste onto the bristles she can’t help but think that for the first time since she left Midvale she is really and truly happy. 

 

*****

 

It’s been nearly a month since their first date, and their relationship has been going quite well.  Not too much has changed in their relationship since their friendship became more than just friendly, aside from the physical aspect of things.  Their regular time spent together is now dotted with kisses, hugs, and intertwined fingers.  Movie nights are still a weekly occurance, though they now occupy much less distance on the couch.  Lena can read Kara better each day, learning more and more what Kara is comfortable with.  The first time Lena called Kara her girlfriend, it just slipped out. They had met in the park for coffee after Kara got off work.  She had brought Lena some of her favorite soup and threw in extra crackers, knowing Lena loves them.  “Thank you, you’re the best girlfriend ever.”  Lena quickly turned to gauge Kara’s reaction and tensed when she saw the flash of panic in Kara’s eyes.  She relaxed as she saw a smile spread across Kara’s face.  “Nah, I’m pretty certain that title belongs to you.”  Lena let out a relieved laugh and leaned in to kiss Kara’s cheek.  Lena was happier than she had ever been and she knew it was all because of Kara. 

 

*****

 

It’s a Tuesday night when Lena is walking Kara home after a movie that something shifts.  The walk hand in hand down the empty sidewalk in front of Kara’s building.  Kara stops and digs in her purse, looking for her keys. The way the moonlight dances across her golden blonde hair, and her brow furrows just a bit as she focuses on the task at hand, Lena can’t help but take in how beautiful she is.  Unable to resist the moment, she spins Kara around, pulling her into a passionate kiss.  She wraps her arms around the blonde and  pulls her close against her body.  She feels Kara melt into her arms and she deepens the kiss.  Kara lets out a soft moan as Lena grazes her tongue along Kara’s lower lip.  Lena slowly backs Kara against the cold brick wall, their lips never breaking contact.  Without warning, Kara pushes Lena backwards and turns to run into her building.  Lena stands alone on the street, dumbfounded as to what has just happened.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******THIS IS THE CHAPTER***** Please see updated warnings and tags!!!!!! It's not graphic, but may be too much for those sensitive to such issues.

Lena rubs her forehead trying to make sense of the scene that just unfolded moments ago.  Her mind is flooded as she tries to decide how to respond to her girlfriend’s sudden exit.  She turns and makes her way into Kara’s building, steps into the elevator and rides to Kara’s floor.  She knocks softly on the door. She hears movement inside, but no response.  “Kara,” she calls out quietly.  “I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I’m so sorry.” She paused, pressing her ear close to the door, hoping to hear some acknowledgement of her presence. “I’m sure you want space, and I’ll give it to you, but I want you to know I’m here; I’m not going anywhere.”  She waited on the off-chance Kara decided to open the door.  She heard the muffled sobs coming from inside the apartment and her heart broke.  “You don’t have to hurt alone Kara; please, let me help you heal.”  Lena rested her forehead against the door, eyes closed tight, fighting the urge to breakdown at the sound of her girlfriend in such obvious pain; pain that Lena had caused.

 

*****

 

Kara sat on her couch, curled around the pillow she clutched tightly to her chest.  She had finally stopped crying.  It had been two hours and there had been silence on the other side of the door for quite some time now.  She pulled herself to her feet and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.   Her head was throbbing from the combination of crying and too many thoughts swirling around.  Lena’s words mixed into the equation and Kara’s heart hurt.  It wasn’t Lena’s fault, though it was clear the brunette was blaming herself.  Kara knew she had to talk to her, explain everything.  She checked the time, it was still early enough that Lena would be awake.  She had to do this tonight.  Kara grabbed her keys and her phone and rushed toward the door before she had the chance to talk herself out of it. She pulled her door open and looked down to find Lena sitting outside her door, her back against the wall.  

 

*****

 

Kara blinked in disbelief.  “You’re still-- You didn’t--” Kara was unable to complete a single thought.  Lena looked up to Kara, her eyes red, betraying the fact that she had been crying too.  Lena looked down at her hands, “I didn’t want you to be alone.”  Kara’s mouth dropped open, uncertain how to respond.  “I’m sorry, Kara.” Lena repeated her apology from earlier.  Kara could hear the guilt in Lena’s voice. She shook her head.  Lena’s brow furrowed in confusion.  Kara blinked.  “Lena-”

 Lena pulls herself to her feet and smooths the fabric of her now wrinkled clothes. “Kara, you don't have to say anything, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ll leave now.” She turns to walk away but stops at the quiet whisper of Kara’s voice.  “Would you please stay?” 

Lena turns back to face Kara, “Are you sure? I didn't mean to--” 

“We made a deal, and I need to keep my end of it.” 

“Oh, Kara, it’s really okay if--” 

“Lena, please just come inside. I need to explain.” Kara sighs. 

Lena steps inside the apartment as Kara closes the door behind them.  Kara motions towards the couch, and Lena takes a seat at the far end.  Kara sits at the opposite end, pulling a pillow into her lap.  She knows if her and Lena stand any chance at a healthy relationship, she has to do this. Lena has a right to know. 

 

*****

 

Kara’s voice is soft, and low.  Lena has never heard her quite so unsure of herself before.  She sits silently as Kara unfolds the painful story. 

You remember how I told you about Henri?” Kara begins.  Lena nods, not wanting to speak unless absolutely necessary.  “There’s something I didn’t tell you, but I need to. I, I want to, because I know that what we have is good, really good, but I want it to be great.” Lena smiles warmly as Kara glances up briefly to catch her eye.  

“Henri was a bit older than me and he had much more, um, experience and I, well, I didn’t.  I had done some things before, but never, well, you know.”  Lena can tell Kara isn’t fully comfortable being so honest, but she simply nods reassuringly, and keeps her expression warm and her gaze soft.  “Henri and I would do stuff, but I knew he always wanted more.  I wasn’t ready for that and he always told me he understood.  One night, he came home from work and I could tell he had been drinking.  I went to take a shower and he followed to join me.  It was all okay until he started getting too rough. He pushed me against the shower wall and tried to...yeah.  When I pushed him off, he hit me and yelled that I must be doing it with somebody else, since I wasn’t with him.” Lena sees the tears streaming down Kara’s face and wants desperately to pull her into her arms and kiss each one away.  She feels the tears rolling down her own cheeks as Kara continues.  “He left that night, and after I just sat on the shower floor crying, my lip cut and bleeding. Over and over again, I heard his accusing words in my head, and saw the distant look in his eyes.  I kept thinking that maybe if I had just....it wouldn’t have happened.”  

Lena reaches out and places her hand over Kara’s.  “Kara, what he did, that was not your fault, at all.” Kara sniffles, trying not to completely break down. Lena is silent for a few moments as the entire situation becomes more clear.   “So when I...it was the wall…” Lena slowly comes to a full understanding of Kara’s reaction.  “Kara, I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to--”

Kara shakes her head, “You didn’t know, Lena. How could you have?”  Her tears are still flowing freely, and both women’s eyes are red and swollen from crying.  

“Would it be okay if I--can I hug you?” Lena asks hesitantly. 

Kara doesn’t answer but rather leans forward just enough to signal to Lena it’s okay.  Lena gingerly wraps her arms around Kara and pulls her close against her chest.  The blonde begins to sob as Lena rubs calming circles on her back and whispers soothing words of comfort in her ear.  Lena softly kisses the top of Kara’s head as she closes her eyes, feeling Kara tremble against her chest.  She will sit here all night, if that’s what Kara needs.  It’s then and there that Lena realizes just how much she cares for Kara, no, just how much she loves her. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You all are the absolute best! I LOVE reading your comments, please keep them coming!

Lena reluctantly leaves Kara’s apartment just before midnight.  She knows Kara is tired, and she doesn’t want to overstep at all with Kara, especially in light of the night they had shared.  Lena slips into the driver’s seat of her car and drives, but not in the direction of her apartment.  She leaves the bright lights of the city behind her and winds her car down the backroads she knows like the back of her hand.  She pulls into the gravel lot and exits her vehicle.  She kicks off her heels and runs into the park.  She runs and runs until she reaches the middle of a wide expanse of green.  Standing in the center of the open field, she falls to her knees letting out a shuddering sob.  She has never felt so helpless in her life, and if she feels this way, she cannot even begin to imagine how Kara feels.  

 

*****

 

“Stop looking at me like that.” Kara snaps at Lena one movie night, a few weeks after their conversation. 

“Like what?” Lena asks calmly, sensing Kara’s anger. 

“Like I’m broken.”  

Kara’s words are a mix of anger, frustration and a touch of shame.  Lena reaches for her hand, but Kara pulls away from her touch.  

“Kara, honey, I don’t think you’re broken. I’m sorry for upsetting you.  I wasn’t thinking that at all.” Lena looks to the floor.  

“Well, what were you thinking?” Kara’s words soften just a bit.  Lena’s cheeks blush, “Honestly? I was just thinking how beautiful you are.”  

Kara’s demeanor melts as Lena continues.  “And how strong you are. Actually, you’re the strongest person I know.” Kara relaxes completely as she hears the sincerity of Lena’s words.  She knows that Lena would never lie to her, and while it’s hard for her to accept that someone sees her so positively, she knows Lena truly means what she is saying.  Kara reaches for Lena, pulling her against her chest.  Lena lays her head on Kara’s chest as Kara begins lazily playing with Lena’s dark hair.  

“I’m sorry for snapping at you.” 

“It’s okay Kara, I still love you.” Lena teases. 

Kara’s heart literally skips a beat.  Lena realizes her words and shifts to look at Kara, who seems to be frozen in place.  Kara stares at Lena in disbelief and Lena knows exactly what the blonde is thinking.  Lena looks into Kara’s brilliant blue eyes as she brushes the back of her hand along her cheek.  

“I love you, Kara Danvers.” 

Lena places a soft kiss on Kara’s forehead before settling back to her place against Kara’s chest.  Kara doesn’t return the sentiment, but Lena didn’t expect her to, and she isn’t bothered by it; Kara will say it when she’s ready.  After a moment, Lena feels Kara’s fingers back in her hair.  She happily sighs as the movie credits scroll across the screen.  

 

*****

 

Kara crashes into the couch at Alex’s.  They haven’t had a proper sister’s night in weeks, and they are long overdue.  Alex has been incredibly supportive of Kara since the moment she showed up in National City.  The girls were always close, but Kara had been distant in the months before she arrived here some months ago.  

“So, how are things with Lena?” Alex asks as she picks the brownie pieces from her pint of chocolate ice cream.  Kara just sighs.  “That good, huh?” Alex quips.

“She told me she loves me.”  Kara confesses. 

“Whoa! Kara, that’s a big deal. Why don’t you seem more excited?” 

Kara looks down, suddenly captivated by the ice cream in her hand.  “I didn’t say it back.  I just couldn’t.  I wanted to, because I do. Love her. But she was looking at me with those eyes, and I tried to make my mouth speak, but no words came out, and I probably did that thing where I look like an idiot, but I love her Alex. And I don’t know how to tell her.” 

Alex can always tell when Kara is nervous about something because she rambles and can’t seem to control it, as much as she tries.  She stays silent, giving Kara’s brain a chance to catch up with her mouth.  

“I’ve kinda been a jerk since I told her.” Kara admits. “I keep snapping at her because I just assume the worst in everything she does. The worst part of it is that she just takes it. She doesn’t get upset with me. She doesn’t pull back. She just takes it.” Kara looks to her sister for the first time during their entire conversation. “I need to make it up to her.” 

Alex smiles at Kara. “Sounds like you need a grand gesture.” 

“A what?” Kara asks.

“A grand gesture.  Every romantic movie has a moment where one character screws up and wins their way back into the heart of the one they love through some grand, romantic gesture.” 

Kara nudges Alex’s knee with her foot.  “My life is not a movie; I am not resorting to some lame rom-com trope.” 

“Chicken.” Alex taunts before taking a sip of her bottle of beer. She sees the gears of Kara’s mind begin to turn and she knows exactly what Kara is thinking. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 4000 hits!!! I'm truly humbled that you are all still reading this. I love feedback, so keep those comments coming! :-)

Lena steps into the elevator and pushes the button for the top floor.  She leans against the back wall and sighs.  Mondays are always her longest days and with a full day of meetings ahead of her, it’s going to be even longer than usual.  The elevator dings and the doors open.  Lena greets Jess, who simply smiles back at her.  Lena pushes through the door leading to her office but she’s not prepared for the sight before her.  Her mouth drops open as she takes in the scene; her office is filled with flowers.  There are vases everywhere filled with roses, lilies, hydrangeas, daisies, and some small white flowers she’s never seen, but are beautiful. Lena notices the largest vase, sitting alone on her desk, is filled with plumerias; her favorite.  She notices the small card stuck in the vase and pulls it from its home.  She turns the card over:  _ Dinner tonight? -K.   _ Lena’s heart flutters in her chest and a smile pulls across her lips as she reaches for her cell phone.  

 

*****

 

Lena leaves work and heads toward the address Kara provided her earlier in the day.  She steps onto the sidewalk and looks at the unfamiliar building before her. She searches for her girlfriend, but doesn’t see her anywhere.  A moment later, Kara appears in the doorway of the building.  She’s wearing a beautiful black and white cocktail dress that touches just above her knee.  Her hair and makeup is done, and Lena can tell she’s put more effort in than usual.  Kara is always beautiful, but tonight Lena is rendered speechless.  Finally, Lena makes her mouth work.  “Kara, you look amazing.” Kara doesn’t speak, she simply takes Lena’s hands and kisses her cheek.  

“You, are the amazing one, Lena.” Kara whispers.  Lena blushes before she speaks again. 

“Kara, what is all this?” She gestures around with her hand.  

Kara smiles slyly, “You’ll just have to see.”  She slides her fingers through Lena’s and leads her into the building.  They step into the elevator and ride to the top floor.  Lena doesn’t ask questions, simply follows Kara as she leads her down the hallway to a door at the end.  Kara opens the door and leads them into a stairwell.  Lena looks confused, but stays silent.  They walk up a short flight of stairs to another door.  Kara looks to Lena and squeezes her hand, “You ready?” Lena nods as she squeezes Kara’s hand in return.  Kara pushes the door open and leads them onto the roof of the building.  

Lena cannot believe what she sees; strings of lights, candles, more flowers and a table set for two.  A waiter stands by the table, eagerly awaiting the signal from Kara.  She nods almost imperceptibly and he disappears around the corner.  Lena turns toward Kara, “Kara, I don’t-”

Kara cuts her off, “Shall we?” She smiles as she leads Lena to the table and pulls out her chair for her.  Lena settles into her chair as Kara takes her seat at the other side of the table.  Lena can’t help but smile as she remembers doing the same for Kara on their first official date.  Kara reaches across the table and takes Lena’s hands in her own.  She looks into Lena’s eyes and finally offers an explanation.  “I’ve been kind of a jerk to you lately Lena, and I’m so sorry. You have been so great to me, and have been nothing but patient and understanding” She looks down and then back at Lena. “I just wanted to do something special for you, because you’re amazing, and you deserve it,” Kara pauses, taking a breath to steady her voice, “and because I love you.” Lena’s eyes widen at the last words, and she knows there are tears threatening to spill out if she allows them.  She leans forward and presses her lips to Kara’s, slipping her hand around the back of the other woman’s neck, not wanting the kiss to ever end.  Lena feels Kara’s hand move up to caress her cheek.  Just as Lena feels Kara deepen the kiss, the waiter appears and clears his throat.  The women break apart, only slightly embarrassed at what the man just witnessed.  

They enjoy their dinner and slip into easy conversation.  Kara makes Lena laugh harder than anyone else ever has.  The dinner plates are cleared and replaced with beautiful desserts and steaming cups of coffee.  When dessert has finished, Kara calls for the waiter.  “Erik, that will be all, thank you.”  

“Yes of course, miss.” The tall man replies before he disappears into the building.  

“Kara, I can’t believe you did all of this for me. The dress, and the hair, and makeup; the rooftop dinner, my favorite dessert, and don’t even get me started on the office full of flowers!”

Kara smiles, “It’s nothing, really.  You deserve it.”  Kara stands and offers her hand toward Lena, “Come here, there’s something I want to show you.” Lena takes Kara’s hand and allows herself to be led to the edge of the roof.  Her breath stalls in her lungs as she looks over the lights of National City below.  

“It’s beautiful.” Lena whispers.

Kara stands behind Lena, snaking her arms around the brunette’s waist.  “Not nearly as beautiful as you.”  Kara kisses the back of Lena’s neck.  “Dance with me?” She whispers into Lena’s ear. 

Lena spins to face Kara.  She lets out a small laugh, “Without any music?” Kara reaches into the pocket in her dress and pushes a button.  The soft music surrounds them.  Kara rests her hands on Lena’s hips as Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s neck.   The two sway with the music, seemingly lost in each other’s eyes.   

“This night has been perfect, Kara.  Thank you.” Lena places a soft kiss on Kara’s lips.  “I love you, Kara Danvers.” 

“And I love you, Lena Luthor.”  Kara wraps her arms around Lena and pulls her into a long, slow kiss. 


	15. Chapter 15

Lena reaches for the remote to turn the tv off. Kara groans as Lena removes her hand from around her waist in order to grab the remote.  Lena tosses the remote on the floor and moves her hand back to where it resided previously.  Kara nuzzles her head into the curve of Lena’s neck as Lena traces circles on Kara’s back.  Lena kisses the top of Kara’s head, causing Kara to look up at her.  Lena smiles and places a kiss on the tip of her nose.  Kara giggles.  Lena leans forward and kisses Kara softly.  She pulls back just a little and smiles at the content look on Kara’s face.  Lena pulls Kara up just a bit and kisses her again, holding the kiss longer this time. She feels Kara’s arms move around her neck and Lena deepens the kiss. 

Lena and Kara have kissed like this plenty of times in the months since they began dating, but they’ve never done anything more than just kiss. Lena doesn’t even realize that her hands have worked their way under the hem of Kara’s t-shirt.  When it registers, she instantly pulls her hands away. Kara breaks their kiss and looks down at Lena who is sheepishly biting her lip in silent apology.  Kara takes Lena’s hands and moves them back under her shirt.  Lena goes to speak but Kara cuts her off with a kiss before she is even able to get a single word out.  Lena runs her hands along Kara’s warm skin, familiarizing herself with every inch of skin she has access to.  She lets her finger tips dance lightly along the curve of Kara’s spine.  Lena traces her fingers along the bottom of Kara’s satin bra.

Kara suddenly sits straight up, Lena immediately beginning to apologize, “Kara, I’m sorry, I got carried--” Lena watches as Kara’s hands grip the bottom of her shirt and she begins to pull it upward.  Lena puts her hand on top of Kara’s.  “Kara, we don’t have to--” 

Kara looks deep into Lena’s eyes, which are even more green than usual in the low lighting of Kara’s living room.  “I know,” Kara breathes out, “but I want to.”   Kara watches as Lena’s eyes flash with surprise, which quickly gives way to a look Kara recognizes as concern.  She nods, giving Lena the confirmation she needs. “I trust you,” Kara whispers softly.  Lena kisses Kara sweetly.  

Kara slowly pulls her shirt over her head and allows it to drop to the floor.  Lena just stares at Kara, her eyes taking in every bit of exposed skin.  She can tell Kara is slightly uncomfortable under the weight of Lena’s gaze.  “My God, you are gorgeous.” Lena traces her fingers along Kara’s shoulders and down her arms, feeling Kara shiver slightly under her touch.  Lena pulls Kara into her arms, kissing her firmly as she rolls them over, switching positions.  Kara’s golden hair splays out beneath her, framing her perfect face.  Lena looks down at her and kisses softly just below her ear, then across her jawline.  She slowly plants kisses along Kara’s neck, moving slowly down, listening as Kara lets an involuntary gasp escape from her lips.  Lena kisses lightly along her collarbone, and then down Kara’s chest, her hands wrapped around Kara’s back, silently exploring every curve of her girlfriend’s perfect body.  

Lena’s hands find the clasp of Kara’s bra as she unhooks it, sliding the straps off her shoulders.  She looks at Kara, waiting to be sure this isn’t too much.  Kara reaches up and helps Lena pull the blue undergarment completely off.  Lena leans down to explore the newly exposed flesh with her lips.  She hears Kara’s breathing catch as her lips make contact with Kara’s nipple. Lena continues to cover Kara’s exposed skin with kisses, moving slowly all the way down to her bellybutton. 

Lena’s fingers brush along the top of Kara’s jeans and suddenly Kara’s hands are tight on Lena’s. Lena freezes and sits up right.  “It’s okay,” she affirms reassuringly, as she gently strokes Kara's cheek with her hand.  

“I’m sorry.” Kara whispers, not daring to look at Lena, fearing the look of disappointment she expects to see on the brunette’s face.  Lena slowly tilts Kara’s face towards hers, looking deep into her sapphire-blue eyes.  

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Lena softly kisses Kara’s forehead, before laying her head on Kara’s chest.  Lena loves the physical intimacy, but if she’s completely honest, she is content to just be close to Kara.  Lena feels Kara’s fingers tracing along the back of her neck.  The two lay cuddled together in comfortable silence until Kara speaks. 

“Lena,” she breathes out in a voice just above a whisper, “just because we’re not, you know...doesn’t mean we have to stop.” Lena feels Kara’s hands slide under her shirt for the first time, and it’s a feeling Lena will never forget. 

 

*****

 

Kara wakes up the next morning, sun streams in through her window and cuts across her bed.  She looks down and sees Lena pressed into her side, arm thrown across Kara’s stomach, almost in a protective manner.  Kara runs her fingers through Lena’s long dark hair. The room is silent aside from the steady sound of Lena’s deep breathing.  Kara smiles as she thinks to herself how very lucky she is to have met Lena.  She watches the woman asleep beside her, knowing for the first time, that this is what love is supposed to feel like. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super shy about writing stuff like this, so please let me know what you think!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly appreciate every one of you that keeps on reading! Thank you for so much incredible feedback! Keep it coming! :-)

Kara is halfway through her workday when Lena walks into Clayton’s.  Lena still comes in regularly, though not quite as often since Kara took the manager position.  Lena strolls up to the counter as Kara comes around the corner.  Kara’s face brightens as she sees her girlfriend standing in the cafe where they met almost a year ago.  Lena waves as Kara walks out from around the counter to greet her.  Kara kisses Lena’s cheek.  

“To what do I owe the pleasure today?” Kara asks, smiling.

Lena feigns offense, “Can’t I just come see my super amazing, hot-shot manager, girlfriend?” She winks as Kara lets out a laugh.  

“Of course you can, honey.” Kara grins. 

“Good to know,” Lena notes.  “Though, I do have something important to ask you.” Lena glances at Kara, and sees a hint of worry dance across her face.  Lena smiles, signaling that it’s nothing to worry about, calming Kara instantly. “How would you like to go away with me this weekend? Lena raises her eyebrows slightly at the end, in eager anticipation of her answer. 

Kara’s face melts into a huge smile. “Really? I’ll have to tell Clayton I won’t be here. Where do you wanna go? I need to pack.” Kara rambles on while Lena stands there grinning.  Finally, she puts a stop to her girlfriend’s rambling.  

“Kara, sweetie, breathe.” Lena takes Kara into her arms.  “I’ll take care of everything, you just be ready to go Friday at 4:00, okay?” Kara leans forward and closes the distance between their lips.  Just then, the door opens and the bell chimes.  Kara pulls back, the embarrassment coloring her cheeks red.  She nods her head towards the door.

“I guess I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Lena smiles, “I’ll see you tomorrow, darling.” She kisses the corner of Kara’s mouth before she walks out of the cafe. 

 

*****

 

Lena knocks on Kara’s door at exactly 4:00. Kara swings the door open looking frazzled.  Lena kisses her softly. 

“What’s wrong? You look flustered.” 

“How am I supposed to pack when I don’t even know where I’m going?” Kara throws her hands up in the air and stalks back into her bedroom. Lena follows  her, wrapping her arms around her from behind. 

“Honey, it’s a weekend away, just the two of us; you don’t have to pack anything if you don’t want to.”  Lena kisses Kara’s neck, spinning her around in her arms.  Kara sighs and rolls her eyes. “Kara, what you have there is fine. Now, let’s go run away together, at least for the weekend.” She winks and kisses the tip of Kara’s nose.  

 

*****

 

They pull up to the cabin on the lake just after 5:30; the sun is sinking, but not yet setting.  Lena turns off the ignition and they step out of the car.  

“Home sweet home for the next three days.” Lena tells Kara.  Kara reaches for Lena’s hand, giving it a squeeze.  

“This is incredible, Lena.” Kara kisses Lena’s cheek.  

“Come on, let’s get settled in and then we can get dinner.” Lena tugs Kara toward the car where they stowed their bags.  They grab their things and Lena unlocks the cabin door.  Lena watches as Kara bounces from room to room in awe of the many amenities at their disposal.  Her eyes grow to the size of saucers when she steps through the sliding door and onto the back porch.  She runs back inside shouting, “LENA! there’s a hot tub!” 

Lena laughs at how adorable she finds Kara in this moment. “I know darling, I chose this cabin specifically for that feature. Now, why don’t we order some pizza and we can take advantage of said hot tub after dinner.” 

 

*****

 

Kara steps out of the bedroom after dinner, her arms  wrapped tight around her stomach.  She’s wearing a royal blue bikini, and when Lena sees her, she cannot help but stare. She’s wearing a simple black bikini herself, and she notices Kara is staring too.  Lena smiles as she grabs two fluffy cotton towels.  She smiles at Kara.  

“You look stunning, Kara.”  Lena kisses her cheek. “Now, let’s get in that hot tub.”

Lena and Kara slip into the hot tub and sink down into the water.  The sit talking about plans for the weekend, about movies they need to put on the list for movie night, and about their dream vacation.  It’s almost an hour later during a lull in the conversation that Kara climbs into Lena’s lap.  She wraps her arms around Lena’s neck and kisses her cheek.  

“Thank you for this.” Kara hugs her tightly.

Lena kisses Kara softly. “It’s only been a few hours, honey, the best is yet to come.” 

 

*****

 

Their first morning at the cabin, Lena wakes before Kara.  The sun isn’t up yet and Kara is curled away from Lena, her face hidden beneath a tangle of blonde waves.  Lena gently pushes the blonde locks aside and kisses Kara’s forehead before heading into the kitchen.  She knows that because Kara is typically up so early, she could use the chance to sleep in, so she decides to wait a bit longer before starting breakfast.  She brews some coffee and pours herself a cup and heads out to the porch.  She curls up on one of the oversized chairs and watches as the sun creeps up over the trees. Her mind constantly wanders back to the blue-eyed girl asleep inside.  Lena sighs contentedly, wishing she could freeze this feeling and keep it forever.  She finishes her coffee and heads back inside to start breakfast.  

Lena is putting the finishing touches on the breakfast tray she has made up when she hears Kara begin to stir.  She carefully lifts the tray and carries it into the bedroom, where a sleepy-eyed Kara is just sitting up.  The morning light peeks through the window and catches in the misplaced waves of Kara’s hair and makes her eyes sparkle like Lena has never seen.  

“Good morning, beautiful.” Lena places the tray across Kara’s lap and leans down to kiss her. “Did you sleep well, darling? 

“Mmhmm” Kara nods as she looks over the spread of food that has been placed before her.  “You made all this?” Kara asks, looking over at Lena, who has climbed into the bed beside Kara, and is now sitting against the headboard.  “I had no idea you knew how to cook.” Kara comments as she plucks a piece of bacon from the tray and pops it in her mouth. 

“Maybe there’s a lot you don’t know about me, Miss Danvers.”  Lena smirks as she brings her coffee cup to her lips taking a long sip.  

 

*****

 

Lena is standing at the sink, washing the breakfast dishes when Kara announces that she is going to go shower.  Lena shakes turns the faucet off, shakes the water from her hands and reaches for a towel.  She turns toward Kara and with a slightly seductive smile says, “Oh yeah, maybe I’ll join you.”  The words are out of her mouth before her brain can register their full effect. Lena’s eyes go wide as she internally panics. She looks to Kara whose expression has fallen flat, and the characteristic light in her eyes has dimmed.  Lena doesn’t have the chance to say anything before Kara turns and rushes off into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her.  Lena curses herself under her breath as she tries to find a way to make this right.  Her and her stupid mouth cannot ruin this weekend. 

When Kara emerges from the bathroom, she enters the kitchen, looking for Lena.  She knows Lena didn’t mean anything by the offhanded comment, and wants to make sure Lena know that.  Kara surveys the entire inside of the cabin, looking for Lena, but she’s noticeably absent.   “Lena?” Kara calls out, making sure she hasn’t missed the other woman in her search.  Kara looks across the living room and crosses to the sliding doors.  She pushes it open and sees Lena sitting on the back porch, staring off into the distance.  “Lena?” Kara calls softly. 

Lena turns toward the sound of her name, before quickly turning her face away from Kara again.  Kara isn’t sure, but it looks as though Lena has been crying.  Lena inhales and tries to steady her voice. 

“Hey.”  Lena refuses to turn and face Kara. 

Kara knows that if Lena turns to face her, she will be met with green eyes rimmed red from guilty tears.  She needs to reassure her girlfriend that everything is okay, and that Kara certainly isn’t mad at her. 

“Lena, it’s okay.”  

Lena doesn’t respond, only sniffles in an futile attempt to stifle more tears from falling.  Kara walks to where Lena is sitting and crouches down in front of her, attempting to meet her gaze.  Lena’s eyes are clenched shut and tears run down her cheeks.  

“Hey,” Kara places her hand on Lena’s thigh, attempting to gain her attention, “Lena, honey, it’s okay.  Look at me. Please.  Just open your eyes and look at me.”  

Lena hesitantly blinks her eyes open, still afraid to look at Kara directly.  Kara smiles when Lena chances a quick look in Kara’s direction.

“There’s those emerald eyes I love so much.”  Kara’s voice is soft and soothing.  “Now where’s the beautiful smile that goes with them?” Kara can’t resist the slight tease. Kara wraps her girlfriend in a tight hug and holds her as she cries.  Even though she’s not upset at Lena’s comment, it did catch her off guard.  She understands why Lena would assume she’d be upset and moreso, she understands that she needs to let Lena process this fully.  If she pushes aside Lena’s feelings, it won’t do any good at all, and so she lets the dark haired woman cry for as long as she needs.  

Lena has been quiet for a while, Kara’s arms holding her close against her chest, rubbing her back in slow, constant circles.  Lena slowly lifts her head enough to be heard by Kara. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, honey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“I wasn’t thinking and it just slipped out and I would never say something to hurt you or upset you and I just--” 

Kara cuts Lena off with a sudden outburst of laughter.  Lena just stares, her brow furrowed incredulously.  

“You were rambling.” Kara explains, “I think I may have rubbed off on you.” Lena can’t hold back as her own laughter mixes with the remnants of tears. After the moment passes, Lena wipes her face and finally looks to Kara. She opens her mouth to speak, but Kara cuts her off before she has the chance.

“I know.” Kara states looking Lena in the eye. “You don’t have to explain, or apologize.  I know you would never do or say anything to hurt me like that. You have to believe me when I tell you that I’m okay. We’re okay.  In fact, we’re pretty freaking amazing, I think.” Kara smiles a cheesy grin.  Lena simply smiles back.

“We are pretty freaking amazing, aren’t we?” 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all for the amazing feedback! Keep those comments coming! <3 Seriously I love hearing what you all think!

Kara waits on the porch of the cabin while Lena goes to shower.  She watches as two squirrels chase one another through the tall grass along the tree line.  She pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs.  Her heart tightens in her chest as she thinks back to Lena’s reaction over this morning’s events.  She knows that despite her confident demeanor, that Lena’s heart is full of compassion and empathy.  She knows that her response to everything came not so much the initial comment, but the fear that she had hurt Kara.  

Kara hears a slight noise and turns to see Lena leaning against the doorway of the porch, the top half of her hair pulled back while the bottom lays straight along her back and shoulders.  She’s dressed in black jeans and a charcoal gray long sleeved t-shirt.  She’s wearing minimal makeup, and Kara is certain she has never looked more beautiful in the months they have known each other.  Lena wraps her arms around her stomach as she stares at her feet.  

Kara looks up at the brunette. “Hey, come here.” Kara reaches for Lena’s hand and pulls her onto the couch beside her.  Lena tucks her feet underneath her and musters up a small smile.  Kara hates knowing that Lena is blaming herself for something that isn’t even really an issue.  Kara leans forward and kisses Lena’s forehead as she wraps her arms around her.  She feels the tension in the other woman’s body and wants nothing more than for Lena to feel better.  Suddenly, she has an idea.  Kara jumps to her feet, startling Lena slightly.  She extends her hand toward Lena, “Come on let’s go.” 

“Where exactly?” Lena replies as she reaches for Kara’s hand. 

Kara pulls Lena to her feet, smiling, “Just come with me.”  

Kara decides that they need a change of scenery for a bit, so they set off from the cabin and just walk.  Kara refuses to let go of Lena’s hand and they stroll leisurely through the beauty of the landscape around them.  Kara carries much of the conversation, trying desperately to return the light to Lena’s eyes. Lena slowly relaxes and even allows a few fleeting smiles to cross her face.  They walk for nearly an hour when they come to a small pond.  Kara immediately points out the ducks swimming in the shallow water along the shore.  They stand in silence for a few moments, watching the ducks move lazily in circles through the water.

“Hey Kara,” Lena begins seriously. Kara immediately turns her attention to her girlfriend. This is the first she has initiated any communication since they left the cabin, only responding to Kara up until now. 

“Yeah?” Kara replies.

“What’s a duck’s favorite food?” 

Kara’s lips part into a wide smile.  “Quackers” 

The two women stand on the shore of the pond laughing together and Kara knows they’re going to be okay. 

 

*****

 

Lena pushes her plate toward the center of the table.  Kara finishes her sandwich and does the same.  After finishing her glass of water, Lena stands to clear the plates, placing them in the dishwasher.  She turns back to Kara who has been watching her silently.  Lena seems much better after their impromptu walk.  

Lena leans against the counter, “I, um, had something planned for today, if you wanted, it shouldn’t be too late.”

Kara smiles, “I’d love to.”  Lena reaches for her phone and sends off a quick text. A few moments later, she receives a response.  

Lena smiles at her phone, then looks to Kara. “Let’s go.” 

 

*****

 

Thirty minutes later, they pull up at a large red barn.  Kara looks to Lena, a look of question on her face.  Lena parks the car, and turns toward her girlfriend. 

“You once told me how much you wanted to go horseback riding, so I booked--”

Kara squeals with delight as she throws her arms around Lena.  She jumps out of the car, barely waiting for Lena to join her.  They head into the barn where they are given instruction.  A little while later, they are saddled up and are leading their respective horses down a shaded trail.  Lena has been riding since she was young, so she opted for the unguided tour, knowing she could help Kara if she needed it.   They ride side by side, following the markers on the sides of the road.  They fall back into their easy conversation and both seem to have forgotten the events of the morning.  They arrive back at the barn just as the sun dips below the horizon. Lena suggests stopping in town for dinner before heading back to the cabin for their last night.  

 

*****

 

Kara exits the bedroom, changed into her blue and gray plaid pajama pants and soft gray v-neck.  Lena is still in her clothes from earlier, and has just finished building a roaring fire in the fireplace.   Kara flops down on the couch and Lena rises to join her.  Lena leans back against one arm of the couch, her knees tucked up in front of her.  Kara scoots over and kisses Lena sweetly.  Lena wraps her arms around the blonde, moving her legs so Kara can snuggle into her lap.  The two lay on the couch, pressed against each other, Lena tracing patterns along Kara’s back.  Kara repositions herself so she can wrap her arms around Lena’s neck.  She pulls the dark-haired woman close and kisses her passionately.  Lena takes the invitation and returns the kiss in kind.  Before she knows it, Lena is laying back on the couch, Kara straddling her hips.  Kara reaches for the bottom of her shirt, and pulls it over her head, before leaning back down to kiss Lena.  Kara runs her hands up under Lena’s shirt, and pulls her forward slightly.  Lena takes the hint and pulls her own shirt off, discarding it on the floor.  Lena looks deep into Kara’s eyes, the reflection of the flames dancing in the beautiful sea of blue.  Kara bites her lower lip and breathes Lena’s name softly.  Lena’s eyes widen, understanding what Kara is insinuating.  Lena looks back at her a touch of hesitancy sweeping across her face.  Kara stands and reaches for Lena’s hand.  Lena takes it and allows Kara to lead her to the bedroom. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter, a little shorter than normal, but I promise to make up for that in the next!

The weeks following their weekend away have been some of the best for Kara and Lena’s relationship.  They’ve settled into a comfortable routine of alternating nights at each other’s apartments and it is rare for either woman to sleep without the other anymore.   The physical intimacy between the two women has become more relaxed with Kara having let so much of her guard down with Lena. Their relationship has become easy and comfortable.  Kara loves Lena more than she ever thought she could love anyone, and there isn’t anything on earth Lena wouldn’t do for Kara.

 

*****

 

Alex and Maggie stare in awe at the box in Lena’s hands.  It’s one week before Lena and Kara’s one-year anniversary and Lena has big plans.  

“Do you really think she’ll like it?” Lena looks to Alex for confirmation that the ring she has chosen is something reflective of the woman she loves. 

“Lena, she’s going to love it.”  Maggie rubs Lena’s shoulder to help calm the younger woman’s nerves. 

Lena looks down to the ring she holds and smiles, her heart fluttering in her chest.  She thinks of everything her and Kara have been through already, and knows this is the right decision. She only hopes Kara agrees. 

 

*****

 

Kara and Lena agreed to not go overboard for their anniversary, opting for a quiet dinner together, and exchanging cards, rather than extravagant gifts.  After dinner, they return to Lena’s car, and Kara looks confused as they head in the opposite direction of the city.  Lena sees the expression on the blonde’s face and decides to set her mind at ease.  

“We have one more stop to make.” Lena grins. 

Kara doesn’t ask questions, but rather slips her hand into Lena’s as they drive the winding back roads leading them from the city lights.  Kara knows exactly where they are when they pull up; it’s the park where they had their first date.  They step from the car and stroll arm in arm through the winding paths.  Kara hasn’t been back here since their first date.  

Lena leads Kara towards the pond, and out into the center of the bridge.  Lena stops and turns to face Kara.  She takes Kara’s hands in hers and smiles at the beautiful woman standing before her. 

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since we started dating.  I hope you know that even with all of the challenges we’ve faced, it has been the best year of my life.”  Lena can tell Kara is blushing, and she watches as Kara looks down then back up. 

“I never thought I would love anyone as much as I love you, Kara. You are the kindest, most caring, thoughtful and absolutely beautiful woman I have ever known. You have brought me more joy and happiness than I ever thought was possible. You make me want to be a better woman in everything I do.  The first time we came here, I told you something, but I  lied.” Lena notes the sudden change in Kara’s expression  at her confession.  “I told you this was my safe place.  I was wrong.  You, Kara Danvers, are my safe place.”   Lena reaches into her pocket and removes the small black box.  She opens the box and presents it to the beautiful woman standing before her, brilliant blue eyes sparkling in the soft moonlight. Kara gasps and looks to Lena, face frozen in shock.  “It’s not exactly what you think,” Lena clarifies. “We haven’t exactly talked about our future, but I wanted you to know just how crazy about you I am. It’s a promise ring, and by offering this to you, I promise you Kara, that I will never walk away from us.  I will never quit, even when things get hard.  I will never stop doing everything in my power to make you happy, and keep that incredible smile on your face.  I promise to love you always and forever, no matter what.”  

Lena waits what feels like an eternity for some sort of response from her speechless girlfriend.  Kara has simply been staring at the ring since Lena opened the box.  When Kara finally looks up to meet Lena’s gaze, she has tears streaming from her crystal blue eyes.  Without warning, Kara throws herself into Lena’s arms and kisses her. It’s a long slow kiss, that builds in intensity and when they finally break apart, they are both left breathless.  Lena rests her forehead against Kara’s.  Kara whispers softly between them, “I love you, Lena.”   Lena takes a small step back and pulls the ring from the box.  Kara extends her hand, trembling slightly, as Lena slides the ring on her finger.  Lena looks deep into Kara’s eyes.  “I promise.” Lena vows before kissing Kara softly.  This; this is everything Lena has ever wanted, and now that she has it, she’s never letting go.  She looks to the ring on Kara’s finger, a constant reminder to love Kara, no matter what.  If only she knew what lie ahead, and just how much that promise would be put to the test. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, are you all ready for some angst ahead? Any guesses as to what's coming up?


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me...feel free to yell, though. I can take it.

The first time it happens, Lena doesn’t think much of it.  They’re laying in bed watching TV  and Kara has her head on Lena’s shoulder; Lena is playing with Kara’s hair.  Lena rolls over and kisses Kara softly.  Kara smiles into the kiss and wraps her arms around Lena.  Lena slides her hands under Kara’s shirt and  Kara quickly pulls away.  Kara pushes her hands away, shaking her head.  Lena tries not to look disappointed, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t.  Kara snuggles closer.  “Sorry.” Lena mumbles as she kisses Kara’s head.  Lena understands Kara’s history, so she never pushes, but she’s noticed lately, Kara rejects her physical affection more and more often.  

 

*****

 

The night starts like any other.  Kara is already in bed when Lena comes home after a late meeting.  Lena walks into the bedroom and climbs into bed with Kara, still in her work clothes.  

“Hey, how was your meeting.” Kara asks as she kisses Lena’s cheek. 

“Entirely too long,” Lena sighs, “I’m very glad to be here.  The company is much better.”  Lena pulls Kara into her arms and starts kissing slowly down her neck.  

“Lena,” Kara sighs almost condescendingly.  

Lena freezes and pushes herself up off the bed.  “Right.” She mumbles in frustration.  It’s the fourth night in a row that Kara has shut down anything before it starts.  Lena gets up and heads toward the shower.  

“So that’s it? You don’t get what you want so you walk away?” Kara calls out after her.  Lena hears her tone of voice and she knows Kara is upset.  

She knows she should bite her tongue, she should just go take her shower, she should just keep quiet and take it, but she’s aggravated and hurt and Kara’s not letting it go, so she lashes out. 

“Right, because I’m the bad guy for wanting to touch my girlfriend.” Lena’s not yelling, but her voice is loud and firm. 

Kara sits up, “I NEVER said that, Lena” 

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO.”  Lena is yelling now. “EVERY TIME I TRY TO EVEN TOUCH YOU YOU SWAT MY HAND AWAY AND IT’S, ‘Lena, stop,’ ‘Not now Lena,’ Lena, enough.’  LIKE IT’S SO FREAKING WRONG FOR ME TO WANT TO BE CLOSE TO YOU, TO TOUCH YOU, TO BE INTIMATE WITH YOU.” 

“Lena,” Kara has lowered her voice, realizing how upset Lena is. “I thought you understood--” 

“Oh I understand. All I DO is understand. You shut me down and push me away and I’m supposed to just understand and sit back and take it.”  Lena’s voice cracks, betraying how much of her outburst is fueled by hurt, and not just anger. “When are you going to realize I’m NOT your ex? I’m not him. And I’ve been patient, and I would NEVER force you or push you to do anything, but is it really too much to ask to just every once in a while feel like you ACTUALLY WANT to be with me?” 

Kara stares up at Lena in silence; her eyes wide in disbelief.  She doesn’t say anything; she doesn’t know what to say.  Lena seems to be waiting for a response, looking at Kara expectantly. 

“You know what,” Lena starts after Kara doesn’t answer, “I’ll save you the trouble.”  Lena grabs her bag and storms out of Kara’s apartment, slamming the door behind her.  

 

*****

 

Lena throws herself into the driver’s seat of her car, slams the door and beats her hands against the steering wheel.  She turns the car on and drives to the closest liquor store.  She needs alcohol, and lots of it.  Once she has what she needs, she turns towards the city limits and drives to the one place she knows she will be alone.  

It’s just after midnight when she pulls into the parking lot of the public garden.  She retrieves the bag she stashed in the trunk and makes her way into the park.  She finds a bench and takes a seat.  Opening the first bottle, she sucks down the amber liquid, feeling the burn in her throat.  Her eyes sting as she tries to hold back the tears.  

 

*****

 

Kara pulls the covers over her head and tries to sleep.  The words of her and Lena’s fight replaying in her head like a bad movie.  The blame falls to both of them; they both made mistakes.  She feels the tears slip from her eyes and roll down her cheeks, soaking her pillow. Her heart feels tight in her chest after their first major fight, but knowing Lena, Kara will wake up to a dozen text messages apologizing.  She’ll deal with it in the morning, but she cries herself to sleep, just the same. She hasn’t slept without Lena in months.    

 

*****

 

Kara wakes to the blaring sound of her alarm clock.  She reaches for her phone to silence the noise.  Her head hurts from her tears the night before.  She rubs her eyes and focuses on the screen, looking for the notification she expects to see. There’s nothing.  She gets herself ready for work and decides to wait until Lena reaches out to her.  

Kara finishes her shift and there’s still no word from Lena. She dials Lena’s number and it rings and rings then directs her straight to voicemail.  She calls again and once again, her voicemail.  Lena never doesn’t answer.   She’s not sure if she’s more angry or worried, so she does the only thing she can think of; she heads to L-Corp and makes her way straight up to Lena’s office.  She storms off the elevator and almost brushes by Jess when Lena’s assistant breaks her from her one-track focus.  

“She’s not here.” Jess calls out.

“Is she in a meeting? I’ll just wai--”

“Kara, she didn’t show up today.” Jess interrupts.  

The wheels in Kara’s head begin to turn.  “She, she called in sick?” Kara asks. 

Jess shakes her head, “No Kara, she just didn’t show up. Nobody has heard from her since she left yesterday. I figured you knew.” 

Kara’s mind races and her heart pounds.  She thanks Jess and leaves instructions to call immediately if she hears from Lena.  Kara turns back toward the elevator, dialing her phone as she does. She fights back tears as the call connects. She doesn’t wait for a greeting from the woman on the other line before she begins speaking. 

“Alex, Lena is missing.” 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...

It’s been nearly twenty-four hours since Lena stormed out of Kara’s apartment and there’s been no sign of her still. Alex had tried to reassure Kara that Lena probably just needed space and had most likely left her phone somewhere. She knew telling her sister not to panic was futile so she promised she would have Maggie look into it and see if anything turned up.  Kara has been calling Alex every hour looking for an update.  The knot in the pit of Kara’s stomach keeps growing, and she feels as though she is going to ill.  Kara doesn’t know what to do, and she can’t sit in her apartment; the angry words of their fight still hanging in the air.  She can’t sit surrounded by the memory of hurt and anger anymore, she picks up her phone and dials her sister again. 

“I told you Kara, I’ll let you know as soon--” 

“I need to borrow your car.” It’s not a question.  “Please, Alex.” Kara pleads.

Fifteen minutes later, Kara is behind the wheel of Alex’s car, heading outside of the city.  She follows the winding roads, listing to the robotic voice of the GPS as it leads her to her desired destination.  Kara pulls the vehicle into the parking lot, fully expecting to find Lena’s car there.  It’s empty. She exits the car and makes her way into the park.  Tears stream down her face as she walks the winding paths she’s only ever walked with Lena.  Every memory from their time together flooding back all at once.  She breaks down when she reached the bridge where Lena stood and professed her love for Kara, promising to never leave, and to always be there.  Kara collapses to the ground and completely loses it, sobbing uncontrollably in the moonlight.  

She almost doesn’t hear her phone ring; but when she does, she immediately answers the call, pressing the phone to her ear. 

“What is it? Did you find her?” Kara demands of the caller. 

“Kara, listen, we found her car.  It was on the side of the road out in Cedarvale, they towed it in about an hour ago.” Maggie explains. 

“But Lena, she wasn’t-...” Kara’s voice trails off. 

“I’m sorry Kara, Lena wasn’t with the car.”  

“I have to go. Thanks, Maggie.” Kara hangs up the phone and shoves it in her pocket.  

Kara was right; Lena had been here, or she was headed here; or was leaving here.  Kara wiped her face, and pulled herself to her feet.  Kara returns to the car and starts the engine.  She can’t go back to her apartment. It’s not that she  _ can’t _ , but she doesn’t want to be there.  Kara only wants to be one place and that’s with Lena.  She pulls out of the parking lot and heads to the only other place she can feel close to Lena.  

 

*****

 

Kara uses the key Lena had given her to let herself into Lena’s apartment.  She looks around for any sign that Lena has been here, but finding none, she changes her clothes and slips into Lena’s bed.  Kara sinks into Lena’s pillow and pulls her blankets around her, surrounding herself in her girlfriend’s scent.  Kara cries herself to sleep for the second night in a row. 


	21. Chapter 21

Kara drags herself out of Lena’s bed and staggers to the shower.  She doesn’t want to go to work, but it’s no use to sit around driving herself crazy all day.  She hopes to distract herself from the dozens of terrible scenarios swirling around in her head.  Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy from crying, but she doesn’t even care.  She finishes getting ready and head to the cafe. 

 

*****

 

It’s just after the morning rush, but before the lunch crowd shuffles in that Kara hears the familiar chime of the bell over the door.  She abandons the dishes she is washing, wipes her hands on her apron and walks to the front counter.  She looks up and is unprepared for the sight before her; it’s Lena.  Kara’s stomach drops to her feet and she suddenly cannot form words.  Lena looks disheveled; her clothes wrinkled, hair out of place and her eyes are red and glazed over. Kara can tell she’s been drinking, a lot, but otherwise she seems to be unharmed.  Kara rushes over and throws her arms around Lena, a sense of relief washes over Kara as she hugs her tightly.  Kara hold on until she is overcome with the overwhelming scent of the alcohol that seeps from Lena.  Kara takes a step back. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Kara demands.  Lena doesn’t say anything, she just shifts her eyes from Kara to the floor.  

“I’m sorry.” Lena says, barely loud enough for Kara to hear. The relief Kara felt a moment ago has been replaced by anger

“You’re sorry? YOU’RE SORRY?! Do you have ANY idea what--”  Kara stops and steadies her voice; she will not cause a scene.  “You know what, not here.” Kara snaps.  “Go home, take a shower and sober up. I can’t deal with you right now.” 

Kara turns and goes back to the dishes she left in the back.  Lena just stands there, almost unsure what to do before turning to walk out the front door.  

 

*****

 

Kara takes the longest possible route home after her shift.  She takes the stairs up to her apartment rather than the elevator, needing some extra time to herself.  She turns the key to unlock her door and drops her bag on the floor, before kicking off her shoes.  Kara flops down on her bed.  Her head is throbbing and her heart aches.  She’s so confused over the entire situation with Lena.  She knows they need to talk, but right now Kara is so tired from two nights with hardly any sleep, so she closes her eyes and lets the exhaustion take over. 

 

*****

 

Kara wakes up to a gentle knock on her door.  She reluctantly drags herself from the bed and opens the door.  Lena is standing in the hallway, two bags of takeout in her hands.  

“Hey,” Lena says quietly, “Can I come in?” 

Kara steps back and stands aside, allowing Lena entrance to the apartment.  Lena puts the bags on the counter and turns to Kara.  

“I brought potstickers, if you’re hungry.”  Lena looks better than she did when she showed up at Clayton’s earlier.  Her eyes are still red, but not as bad as they had been; Kara assumes she’s made use of some eye drops to help that.  Kara opens the drawer and pulls out two forks and a stack of napkins.  She reaches for one of the bags and makes her way towards the couch.  Lena grabs the other bag and follows Kara’s lead.  The two eat in awkward silence; Lena not quite ready to speak, and Kara unsure of what to say.  Kara places her plate on the table and sits back.  

“Lena, what happened?”  Kara’s voice is softer and holds less of an edge than earlier in the day, though it still lacks the brightness that Lena is used to.  Lena takes a deep breath and begins to explain the last 40 hours of her life.  

“First, I’m so sorry for the fight that started everything. I was wrong for getting so mad. I should have talked to you about how I was feeling instead of throwing it in your face like I did. I know that I shouldn’t have stormed off like that, and I should have just calmed down and talked to you, so I’m sorry.” Kara listens without speaking as Lena continues. “After our fight, I was upset and hurt and I just needed to get away. I wanted to make it all stop so I decided getting drunk was the way to do that.  I drove out to Cedarvale and sat in the park alone just drinking.  I kept thinking about how badly I had messed up, and about how hurtful the things I said were.  Before I knew it, all of the alcohol I bought was gone.  I stumbled back to my car and tried to drive home. It was so stupid, but clearly, I wasn’t doing my best thinking at the time.  I didn’t get far before I realized there was no way I could drive. I pulled over and left my car on the side of the road.”

Kara folds her arms across her chest, biting her lip to keep herself from screaming at Lena for being so irresponsible and reckless.  She watches as Lena shifts uncomfortably before continuing. 

“I figured I would walk to the next town and get a room somewhere for the night.  I made it to town but had left my phone and wallet in my car, so I couldn’t do anything.  I found a bench on the street and eventually I passed out.  When I woke up, I had no idea where I was.  I still had no wallet or phone so I just started walking.  I didn’t stop until I got to Clayton’s.”  

“You walked all the way from Cedarvale, alone, and still drunk? Lena Luthor, you are an idiot. Do you have ANY idea what could have happened?”  Kara tries to keep her voice low. 

“I know.” Lena replies softly. “Kara, you have to know how sorry I am.”

“You should be. Sorry, that is.  I was worried SICK about you, Lena.  I mean the fight was bad enough, but then you just go off and act so carelessly.” Kara’s voice is getting louder.  “I had NO idea where you were, Lena. DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT MADE ME FEEL? Or were you too busy worrying about yourself? You could have been DEAD on the side of the road somewhere, and I had NO CLUE.”   

Lena closes her eyes, clenching them shut, trying in vain to stop the tears from escaping.  Kara’s heart lurches when she sees the guilt and pain that is written across Lena’s face.  She softens her tone as she reaches out for Lena’s hand.  “Lena, look at me.” 

Lena opens her eyes hesitantly, but tilts her head slightly to avoid Kara’s gaze. Kara gently turns Lena’s face, her blue eyes meeting tear-filled green ones.  “You can’t do this again okay? You can’t just run away like that.”  Kara brings her hand up to Lena’s eye level, waving the promise ring to make her point.  “You promised, remember?” Lena sniffles and nods slightly.  Kara smiles softly and wipes the tears from Lena’s face.  “Come here.” Kara pulls Lena into her arms and holds her close against her chest.  

Kara rubs Lena’s shoulders as the brunette murmurs against Kara’s shoulder; repeating over and over in an almost chant-like pattern, “I’m sorry Kara. I’m so, so sorry.”  

Kara rocks her girlfriend gently, “I know, Lena. I know.”  They’ve weathered their first storm, but not without some damage; how well the repair holds, only time will tell. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of 300 Kudos, here's another chapter! <3

In the weeks following the incident, things between Kara and Lena remain fragile.  It’s like a broken vase that has been pieced back together but the glue hasn’t quite dried yet.  Lena walks on eggshells around Kara, suddenly unsure of everything she says and does.  Lena has only stayed at Kara’s apartment once since everything happened and that was only because Kara absolutely insisted. Lena has never been shy with physical affection so it’s strange that suddenly it has become extremely limited, and Kara has been the one to initiate all of it. Even the night they did spend at Kara’s apartment found Lena on one side of the bed, and Kara on the other.  When Kara did snuggle closer to Lena, she felt the brunette tense under her touch, positioning herself so there was as little contact between them as possible.  It’s as if part of Lena has gone missing, and Kara doesn’t quite understand it.  Kara figures her girlfriend just needs some time, and God knows Lena has always been patient and understanding with her, so she will wait until Lena is ready.

 

*****

 

Three weeks later, nothing has changed and Kara can’t take it anymore.  They’re having one of their weekly movie nights and are at opposite ends of the couch, like they used to sit before they were together.  

“Why don’t you kiss me anymore?” Kara blurts out in the middle of Jurassic Park. Lena pauses the movie and turns toward Kara.  

“What are you talking about, we kiss all the time.” 

“No.  _ I _ kiss  _ you _ all the time. You just let me.  You  _ always _ used to kiss me, or hug me, or hold me close and rub my back.  You used to wrap your arms around me and play with my hair until I fell asleep. We used to ..you know. And now…” Kara’s voice cracks as she trails off at the end, betraying the hurt behind her seemingly sudden outburst.  Lena doesn’t respond so Kara continues, tears now filling her eyes, “Do you not--? Am I not--?”  She barely manages to get the words out before she feels the light touch of Lena’s hand on her knee.  

“Oh, Kara, I will always want you.  Why wouldn’t I?”  Lena asks quietly. Kara’s tears have spilled over and run down her cheeks now. 

“Then why?” Kara asks in a barely audible voice. 

“I’m sorry,” Lena offers.  

“NO.” Kara counters firmly.  “All you ever say is ‘sorry’  and that’s not enough anymore.  Saying sorry doesn’t  _ fix _ anything. You need to TALK to me Lena; what’s going on with you?”

Lena ducks her head as she tries to explain, “I..I’m scared.”  Kara looks up at Lena, having not expected that answer at all.  Lena sees her expression and continues. “The fight.  It all started because of me.  Because I…” Lena’s voice falters She shakes her head, “I can’t let that happen again. I won’t let that happen again.”  

Kara sighs. “Lena, things like that happen.  Couples fight.  There’s misunderstandings and disagreements, and that’s okay. It’s part of loving someone. But we’re not going survive if we can’t talk to each other when something is bothering us, okay?” Lena just nods. “Good, now get over here and kiss me.” Kara smiles.  Lena leans forward and places a soft kiss on Kara’s lips.  “You can do better than that,” Kara teases.  Lena kisses her again, longer this time.  “Come on, Luthor, kiss me like you mean it.” Kara knows that was just the push Lena needed.  Lena pulls Kara into her arms and kisses her with all of the urgency and desperation that has been stored up for the past number of weeks.  Lena seems unwilling to ever break the kiss, running her tongue along Kara’s lower lip, and finally pulling back, panting for breath.  “Now we’re talking,” Kara smiles.  

“I’d rather not be.” Lena quips with the raise of an eyebrow.  Kara smiles, feeling for the first time in over a month, that her girlfriend had returned. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments! It was a rough couple chapters there! Thanks for sticking it out! Let me know what you think!

Life had pretty much returned to normal for Kara and Lena.  They had settled into a comfortable routine again, and had become much better at communicating with one another.  It may have taken them a while, but they’re happy again and neither one is willing to do anything to put that at risk. 

 

*****

 

It’s a lazy Sunday morning and they’re laying in Lena’s bed.  Kara’s resting her head on Lena’s chest and Lena has her arm around Kara’s shoulder, drawing circles lazily on the blonde’s arm.  Lena turns to place a kiss on Kara’s forehead.  Kara looks up and smiles. 

“I’m going to go take a shower.” Kara kisses the tip of Lena’s nose.  

“Nooooo,” Lena pouts, “stay here with me.”

Kara traces her fingertips along Lena’s collarbone.  “You could come with me, if you wanted.” Lena  looks to Kara, her face displaying utter shock at Kara’s offer.  

“Kara--”  Kara leans forward kissing Lena to cut her off.  

“I know what you’re going to say.  I appreciate it, but if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t offer. I’m not as delicate as you seem to think. Now, I’m going to go shower.  You’re welcome to join me if you like.” Kara rolls out of the bed and walks toward the bathroom.  It takes Lena all of five seconds before she’s up following behind her. 

 

*****

 

Kara leaves Clayton’s after a particularly frustrating shift and decides on her way home that she’s going to surprise Lena with a date night.  She rushes to her apartment to make sure everything is perfect.  She doesn’t want to tip off Lena to her plans, so she simply texts Jess, asking her to be sure Lena leaves on time.  Jess has always been a fan of Kara so is happy to help in any way she is able.  Jess texts back a confirmation that Lena has finished her final meeting and is headed to Kara’s.  Kara can’t wait.

 

*****

 

Lena rides the elevator to Kara’s floor and makes her way down the hall to the familiar apartment.  She opens the door and cannot believe the scene before her when she does.  The room is dark, except for the light from dozens of candles placed around the room.  There are vases of roses placed throughout the room, and dinner is set on the table.  Lena turns and sees Kara standing in the doorway of the bedroom wearing a form-fitting dress that Lena doesn’t ever remember seeing before.  Her mouth drops open, and she lets her purse fall to the floor.  

“Kara, what is all this?” Lena questions.

Kara slowly walks toward Lena, “Can’t I surprise my gorgeous girlfriend with a date night in, just because?”   She wraps her arms around Lena’s neck and kisses just below her ear.  Lena let’s out a small moan.  

“No, no, you can.” Lena gasps. 

Kara pulls back quickly, “Good, let’s eat before dinner gets cold.”  

The two women dine on the exquisite dinner Kara prepared.  Lena tells Kara all about her day, and Kara vents about hers.  After dinner, Kara puts on some soft music, and the women sit on the couch together exchanging kisses and lingering touches.  

“Dance with me.” Kara whispers in Lena’s ear. She takes her hand and pulls her to the middle of the living room.  The two women hold each other close and move slowly to the music.  Kara kisses Lena’s neck, just below where her jaw meets her ear.  She plants kisses softly along Lena’s neck, sucking gently on her pulse point, being careful not to leave any marks.  Lena closes her eyes and hums contentedly.  Kara gently bites Lena’s ear, whispering seductively, “Ready for dessert?”  The two women make their way to the bedroom, shedding layers of clothing along the way. 

 

*****  

 

Lena wakes in the middle of the night, her body shaking with chills.  Kara feels Lena stir and wakes to check on her.  “You okay, honey?” Kara whispers in the dark.  

“I’m just cold.” 

“Come here,” Kara pulls Lena into her arms, “Lena, you’re burning up.”  Kara lays her hand on Lena’s forehead.  “I think you’re getting sick, honey.”  Kara holds Lena close and rubs her back until she falls back to sleep.  

When Lena wakes, the sun is pouring through the window of Kara’s bedroom.  Kara is sitting on the edge of the bed beside her, holding a glass of water and two small pills.  She starts to sit up, but suddenly feels weak.  

“Good morning, love.” Kara greets Lena with a kiss to the forehead. “How are you feeling?” 

“Really tired. What time is it? I have to get to work.”  Lena begins to get up. 

“Whoa, whoa, Lena, you’re not going anywhere.  I already called Jess. You need to stay in bed and rest today. I’ll be taking care of you all day.”  

Lena takes the water and swallows the pills Kara handed her.  She smiles softly at Kara.  “Thank you.” 

 

Kara makes Lena stay in bed all day, making sure she has everything she needs.  They watch movies, and Kara cuddles Lena close.  Kara plays with Lena’s hair when she falls asleep on her chest, wipes her forehead when her fever spikes again and wraps her in a blanket when the chills return.  Lena drifts in and out of sleep all day, and Kara keeps a watchful eye on her girlfriend.  She text Jess just after 6, telling her Lena will be out again the following day.  She calls Clayton to let him know she won’t be in again either.  Kara looks down at the sleeping brunette in her arms; some things are just more important than work. 

 

*****

 

Kara returns to Clayton’s on a Friday, after missing three days to stay home to take care of Lena.  She stays later than usual, trying to make up for the hours she lost.  Overall it’s a good shift, but she’s happy to be headed home.  She makes her way up to her apartment and as she approaches the door something catches her eye.  She looks down to see a vase full of the most beautiful flowers she has ever seen. She scoops them up and brings them inside.  Placing them on the counter, Kara opens the small card tucked amongst the stems.  She reads the note and smiles. 

_ Thank you for taking care of me.  _

_ I love you, always and forever _

_ no matter what. -L _


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, commenting and sending love! Keep it coming!

Lena leaves her office at L-Corp and heads over to Kara’s.  She never stays at her apartment anymore, and is virtually living with Kara.  She walks through the front door, leaves her bag by the door and climbs onto the couch, snuggling herself into Kara’s lap.  Kara drops the book she had been reading on the table and wraps her arms around Lena. 

“Well, hello to you too.” Kara teases as she kisses the top of Lena’s forehead. “Long day?”

An incoherent response comes from the brunette clinging to Kara’s chest.  Kara laughs and runs her fingers through Lena’s hair.  

“Why don’t we just stay right here for a while, then I’ll make us dinner.” Kara offers. She listens for a reply, but receives nothing. “Lena?” Kara whispers softly, before realizing her girlfriend has fallen asleep. 

 

*****

 

Kara sits snuggled into Lena’s lap as they watch some cheesy rom-com Lena picked.  Kara thinks back to the time when she was so skeptical of the kind of love in these movies her girlfriend loves so much.  Kara remembers the way she questioned Lena about her thoughts on love, and how Lena spoke words the Kara needed to hear, even if she didn’t know it at the time.  Suddenly overwhelmed by the memory, she reaches up and kisses Lena.  Lena smiles and kisses Kara’s forehead in return.  When Kara settles back into Lena’s arms, she notices Lena has barely touched her pizza.  

 

*****

 

Later that night, Kara snuggles into Lena’s side, her arms wrapped around the other woman.  Lena softly plays with Lena’s hair as Kara presses a kiss to Lena’s lips.  Kara turns so she can face Lena, propping herself up on her elbow.  She reaches out and brushes a stray lock of dark hair out of Lena’s face, tucking it behind her ear.  “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Kara asks, lovingly gazing into Lena’s eyes.  Lena blushes, the sudden flash of pink standing out against her alabaster skin.  Kara cups her cheek with her hand, and grazes her thumb along Lena’s jaw.  “You are” she confirms as she leans down to kiss her girlfriend.  

Kara reaches to lift Lena’s shirt, slipping it off over her head, and tossing it to the floor.  Lena smiles and reaches for Kara’s in return.  Kara covers Lena’s hand with her own, and before Lena can respond, Kara speaks.  

“Tonight is all about me taking care of you.” Kara whispers, a hint of seduction in her voice.  

Lena smiles and pulls Kara in for a long, passionate kiss; the kind of kiss that holds just the right amount of desperation and urgency, but not so much that it feels rushed.  Kara pulls back and continues to slowly remove Lena’s pants; slipping them off easily, with little resistance.   Lena lays before Kara, wearing only her black panties and Kara has never seen her look more beautiful.  Kara begins planting kisses over every inch of Lena’s skin.  Kara notices that Lena’s collarbone is a bit more prominent than usual as she passes her lips over the woman’s neck. She traces her fingers lightly over every curve, memorizing every inch of the other woman’s body.  Slowly she runs her hands along Lena’s hips,  feeling how there seems to be less padding there than previously; not that there was a lot to begin with.  Kara continues her exploration until she notices that Lena has been silent for some time.  She stops and listens to the tell-tale steady breathing from the brunette; Lena has fallen asleep. 

 

*****

 

“I’m worried about you.” Kara announces one Saturday morning as Lena sits at the counter drinking her second cup of coffee, typing furiously at her laptop.  

“Excuse me?” Lena almost chokes on the sip of coffee she had just taken, caught completely off guard by Kara’s comment. 

“I think you’re working yourself too hard, Lena.”  Kara looks to Lena, eyes filled with concern and love.   

Lena closes her laptop and smiles softly at Kara, seeing the worry in her bright blue eyes.  “I’ll tell you what,” Lena says, placing her hand over Kara’s, “no more work for today; yearly projections can wait.”  

Kara looks into Lena’s eyes with a hint of exasperation. “Lena, it’s not funny; I’m serious.  You’re tired all the time, you hardly eat anymore, and don’t think I haven’t noticed you’re losing weight.  I’m really worried about you.”  

Kara looks down, fearing if she looks back up at Lena, the tears that are pooling in her eyes will break loose.  Lena scoots off the stool she is sitting on and crouches down to meet Kara’s gaze.  

“Oh, Kara, I didn’t mean to make light of it darling.”  Lena watches as the tears stream down Kara’s face.  Lena gently lifts Kara’s chin, meeting tearful blue eyes with her own.  “Come here, my love.”  Lena pulls Kara into her arms, rubbing her back.  “It’s been stressful at work lately, yes, but I’m fine.”  

Lena pulls back, “Look at me,”  Kara slowly raises her head to meet Lena’s gaze. “I’m okay. I promise. okay?”  

Kara nods as she pulls Lena into a tight hug.  Kara sits back as Lena reaches to wipe the tears from Kara’s face.  “I’m sorry for acting like a big baby.” Kara sniffles.  “I just don’t know what I’d ever do without you.” 

Lena takes Kara’s face in her hands, “You don’t have to worry about that; I’m not ever going anywhere.”  Lena leans forward and kisses Kara softly.  “Now, what are we doing today, since somebody won’t let me work.”  

Kara shoots Lena a disapproving look. “Too soon?” Lena asks before pulling Kara in for another kiss. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little shorter than usual, but I really wanted to get this out...

Kara keeps a watchful eye on Lena over the next few weeks.  Lena seems to be eating better than she had been and she doesn’t seem quite as tired as before. The color has returned to her face and Kara figures the weight will return in time, not that she’s ever cared about Lena’s size, only that she’s healthy.  Kara assumes that Lena had been right, it was all just stress; running a multi-billion dollar company isn’t exactly a walk in the park.  Kara relaxes and everything appears to go back to normal. 

 

*****

 

Lena didn’t realize her situation had become so noticeable, but now Kara is watching her like a hawk.  She forces herself to eat at home with Kara, and makes a show of her lunch, because if Lena knows Kara at all, she will call Jess to check up on her eating habits when she is away.  She musters all of her energy before she walks through the door each night, often resorting to an energy shot on the way home.  She’s purchased makeup that’s a shade or two darker than her usual in hopes of hiding her notably paler complexion.  She knows she has to do something about it, and she will.  Until then, Kara doesn’t need to know.  

 

*****

 

Kara shows up unannounced at L-Corp one afternoon, only to be stopped by Jess before reaching Lena’s office.  

“Miss Luthor isn’t here. She left for the day about an hour ago.” Jess explains. 

“Oh. Thank you  Jess.” Kara’s face falls, as she turns to leave. 

Kara makes her way back through the city, heading in the direction of her apartment.  It’s not like Lena to take off mid-day like that.  She reaches for her phone and dials Lena’s number.  The call connects after the second ring.

“Kara, sweetie, hi.” Lena chirps into the phone.  Kara hears a voice in the background she doesn’t recognize.  

“Hey, love. How’s your day going?”  Kara keeps her voice calm and steady.

“Oh, you know, just another day at the office. I’m actually about to head into another meeting, so I can’t talk long.”

“Oh, right, umm, I was thinking I’d cook tonight? I didn’t want you to pick up anything on the way home. From the office.”  

“Sure, love, sounds great. Jess is calling for me, I’ll see you later. Love you.” The line cuts off. Kara holds her phone in her hand, staring at the screen. Lena is lying and Kara needs to find out why.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to sound off in the comments.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, but there's a bunch of stuff I am trying to bring to light so I don't want to crowd each event.

Kara is just plating their dinner as Lena walks through the door. She’s prepared Lena’s favorite, fettuccini alfredo with grilled chicken, and picked a bottle of her favorite wine.  Lena walks into the kitchen, still carrying her bag with her.  

Lena greets Kara with a kiss to her cheek, “Hello darling, this smells wonderful.”

“Hey honey,” Kara responds as she turns retrieve two wine glasses from the cupboard, “I’m almost done here, why don’t you change quick while I finish up.”  Lena nods and disappears into the bedroom, returning a few minutes later wearing gray sweatpants and a black v-neck. 

Lena sits at the table as Kara places a plate before her, filled with steaming pasta and chicken.  She pours her a glass a wine before settling down with her own plate of food.  

“So, tell me all about this important meeting you had today.” Kara nudges.  

Lena picks up her fork and twirls the pasta on her plate. “It’s really not all that interesting, I’d much rather hear about yours.” Lena replies, never once looking up from her dinner.  Kara humors Lena, and shares the details of her day, leaving out the fact that she had dropped by L-Corp  Kara clears the plates and watches as Lena moves to the couch.  It’s clear that Lena isn’t going to offer any information regarding her actual whereabouts earlier that afternoon.  Kara hastily washes the dishes and grabs a towel to dry her hands, as Lena flips through Netflix, looking for something to watch.  Kara has had enough, and now it’s time for some answers. 

“I was thinking we could watch a comedy tonight.” Lena suggests.

“No.” Kara replies, walking toward the couch, a determined look in her eyes.  

“No?,” Lena raises her eyebrow, suggestively, “Did you have something else in mind?” 

“Actually yes,” Kara responds calmly.  “Are you going to tell me the truth?”

Lena’s face drops, just a bit before she regains her composure, “Kara, what are you talking about?” 

“Where were you today?” Kara asks, trying to keep her emotions in check. 

“I was at work, where I always am. Kara, honey, what--” 

“Stop lying to me, Lena.” 

“Kara, I’m not--” 

Kara tries to hold back, but it’s no use, “I SAID STOP LYING TO ME. I KNOW YOU WEREN’T AT WORK.  I STOPPED BY TO SEE YOU AND JESS TOLD ME YOU HAD LEFT FOR THE DAY. I CALLED YOU AND YOU LIED, YOU SAT HERE TONIGHT AND LIED TO MY FACE, SO TELL ME, LENA, WHERE WERE YOU?”

Lena’s eyes are wide in shock, knowing she can’t avoid it anymore. “Kara, I’m sorry…”

Kara slams her hand down on the counter, “Yeah, well, so am I.”  She turns and walks out the door, without another word.  Lena looks toward the counter where her girlfriend stood just a moment before; something sparkles and catches her eye.  She walks to the counter and as the object in question comes into focus, she collapses to the floor in tears; Kara left her ring. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry....


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I had posted a chapter last night, but based on the feedback I received, it didn't work quite the way I had hoped. I decided rather than force it, I'd just scrap it and start the chapter over. Thank you to those who provided honest feedback, it helps me be the best writer I can be. I sincerely hope this chapter works better! :-)   
> Now, at long last....

Kara wanders through the city, eyes stinging with tears.  She can’t believe Lena would lie to her like that.  She ends up the one place she knows she can always run to, and again, she finds herself knocking on Alex’s door after midnight, face stained with tears.  Alex opens the door, rubbing at eyes wearied with sleep.  She takes one look at her sister standing in the doorway and knows instantly something is wrong, very wrong.  

“Kara, what happened?” Kara doesn’t speak, she only crashes into her sister’s arms and sobs against her neck.  Alex rubs her back and whispers softly, holding Kara until she is ready to talk.   

 

*****

 

Lena can’t believe Kara left, and more than that, she can’t believe she left her ring. They’ve fought before, but usually it’s Lena who storms off, not Kara.  Lena knows she screwed up, that she should have just told Kara, but it wasn’t the right moment.  Kara was so hurt, so angry; Lena had never seen her girlfriend like that before, and it’s something she never wants to see again.  She hangs her head in her hands and rubs her temples. She can’t do anything tonight, so she climbs into Kara’s side of the bed and cries herself to sleep.

 

*****

 

Kara finally calmed down enough to talk to Alex.  She explained the surprise trip to L-Corp, Lena’s uncharacteristic absence from work, the phone call and the resulting explosion between them.  Alex sat listening patiently before finally speaking.  She typically liked to nudge Kara, but ultimately let her figure these things out on her own, but this time there wasn’t time for that.  

“You need to stop being an idiot.  You need to go and apologize to--” 

“Apologize?  _ I  _ have to apologize?!” Kara counters. 

“Shush. Yes, Kara,  _ you _ have to apologize. Lena may be wrong too, but you definitely could have at least given her the chance to explain before storming out.  And leaving your ring, Kara, really?”

Kara looks sheepishly at Alex.  “Yeah, not my finest moment, I know.”  

“Like it or not, you were wrong.  You know what you need to do.” Alex offers with a gentle hand on Kara’s knee. 

“Thanks, Alex.” Kara  wraps her arms around her sister, “Um, can I stay here for a while? I mean, just for tonight.”  

“Only if you don’t steal the covers.” Alex teases. 

“Oh, whatever.” Kara reaches for her phone, “I’m just gonna make a call first.”

 

*****

 

Lena’s phone buzzes on the table beside the bed, pulling her from her sleep.  There’s only one person that would be calling at this hour.  She reaches through the dark and hesitates before sending the call to her voicemail.  A few minutes later the notification comes through;  _ New Voicemail from Kara.  _ Lena brings the phone to her ear and presses play. 

“Lena, hey, it’s me, Kara, yeah but you probably knew that cause caller id and stuff. I figured you wouldn’t  answer, in fact, you’re probably asleep. I hope you’re asleep,  you always stay up too late, and I know sometimes that’s my fault, and I should let you sleep more, but yeah. ...God, I’m rambling, you probably think I’m an idiot. Anyway,  I,  um, well, first, I’m sorry..I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have taken off like that, and I, I think we should talk.  I um, I was thinking in the park by Clayton’s, tomorrow after I get out of work? I’ll wait there for you, if you want to come, which I hope you do.  Okay, so I’m gonna hang up now. I hope to see you tomorrow….I love you, always and forever,” Kara’s voice cracks as she finishes “no matter what.” 

Lena hangs up the phone and wipes the tears from her eyes.   _ No matter what.  _

 

*****

  
  


Kara makes it through her shift at the cafe with minimal incident, though she’s never been so distracted in her entire life.  She fixes two cups of coffee, places them into a tray and grabs her things from the back.  Her heart races as she makes her way to the park, not sure what to expect, but praying Lena is there.  She looks around for Lena, but doesn’t see her anywhere.  She takes a seat at a table and waits.  

Kara checks the time, it’s 3:15; she’s been here for more than an hour.  She closes her eyes, fighting back the tears as she stands to leave.  Of course Lena wouldn’t come, why did Kara even think that she would.  Kara had been right all along, love just wasn’t for her.  She grabs the tray of now cold coffees from the table and turns to leave when her phone rings.  She looks at the screen and draws in a sharp breath. 

“Lena, I was just about to leave, I figured you weren’t coming--” 

“Kara, it’s Jess. I’m sorry for bothering you, I just didn’t know who else to call. Miss Luthor doesn’t have an emergency contact listed and I--” 

“Whoa, Jess, slow down, what’s going on?” 

“Kara, Lena’s collapsed.”  


	28. Chapter 28

Kara stands frozen, the tray of coffees that had previously been in her hand, now lay on the ground by her feet.  

“Kara? Hello?” Kara finally registers that Jess is still talking. 

“Yeah, Jess, I’m here. What happened, where is she?” Kara fights to keep her voice from cracking. 

“I don’t know, I just walked into her office, and she was on the floor--they, they’re taking her to National City General.” 

“I, um, okay I have to go. Thanks Jess.” Kara hangs up the phone and lets loose the tears she’s been holding in.  She dials Alex’s number, but when the call connects, the only word Kara can get out is “Lena.”

 

*****

 

When they arrive at the hospital, Kara bursts through the doors, Alex and Maggie close behind her.  She scans the waiting room and finds Jess sitting in the corner, eyes red from crying.  Jess rushes over and begins to tell the trio everything she knows, which isn’t much.  Jess quickly adds the three women to the authorized visitor list, which she only has access to because of the legal team at L-Corp.  

“I made the lawyer sign the paperwork before I came over.” Jess explains. The women sit as they wait for any word from Lena’s doctors.  After an hour or so, Maggie goes to get food for everyone, though nobody has much of an appetite.  It’s another hour later when a tall middle-aged doctor approaches them.  He motions for them to follow him to a more private room. 

“We don’t what caused Miss Luthor to collapse. We are administering IV fluids as she came in pretty dehydrated. There was a small laceration on her forehead that required some stitches.  It appears she hit her head when she fell.  We have run some tests, but until we get the results, all we can do is wait. Right now, she’s stable, though she is still unconscious.”  

“Can we see her?” Jess asks, wiping her eyes.

“I can take you to see her, yes.” 

Maggie, Alex and Jess all stand to follow the doctor from the room.  Kara sits motionless in her chair, unblinking eyes staring off into the distance. Alex notices Kara hasn’t moved and tells Maggie to go ahead with Jess, nodding towards Kara.  Maggie kisses Alex’s cheek and follows Jess down the hall.  Alex crouches in front of her sister, resting her hands on Kara’s knees.  

“Kara,” Alex keeps her voice low and soft, 

“I can’t go in there, Alex” Kara whispers. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I, I can’t see her like that.  What if--Alex, what if it’s my fault?” The tears flow freely from Kara’s eyes as she continues, “What if the fight--What if she doesn’t--” Kara’s words are choked off by a heart-breaking sob as she buries her face in Alex’s shoulder.  

Alex rubs Kara’s back, whispering softly. “Hey, you can’t think like that, okay? We don’t even know what it is yet.” ALex pulls back, brushing the hair out Kara’s face.  “I know how much you love her, Kara. She loves you too. I know it’s hard, but Lena needs you right now.”  Alex takes Kara’s face in her hands and wipes the tears from her cheeks.  Kara nods slightly.  “Now, come on, let’s go see her.”  

 

*****

 

Alex leads Kara down the hallway to Lena’s room.  They pass Jess in the hallway as she’s headed back to L-Corp to be certain everything is in place for Lena’s absence.  Alex walks in and stands beside Maggie who is seated in a chair beside Lena’s bed.  Kara hovers in the doorway, not quite ready to enter the room yet.  Lena looks small in the hospital bed.  There’s an IV in her arm, and wires and monitors keeping track of every beat of her heart and each breath that she takes.  Her skin is alarmingly pale, and a bandage covers the cut above her eye.  

“Maggie and I are going to go get some coffee.” Alex announces, clearly wanting to give her sister some privacy.  Maggie stands and follows Alex from the room, each squeezing Kara’s shoulder as they pass by her.  Kara slowly walks towards the bed and drops into the chair closest to Lena’s side.  

“I’m sorry.” Kara whispers through tears. “Lena, I’m so sorry.”  She reaches out and gently takes Lena’s hand.  “You have to wake up. Please. I--I need you to be okay. I--I love you more than you know, and I want to be able to show you that. I’m here, Lena, and I’m not going anywhere.  No matter what.”  Kara rests her head against Lena’s bed, tears flowing freely, soaking the fabric below.  

When Maggie and Alex return, Kara is asleep in the chair, still holding Lena’s hand.  Alex nudges her softly, waking her from her exhaustion induced sleep.  

“Come on, Kara, let’s go home so you can sleep.” Alex keeps her voice low.

“I’m not leaving.” Kara mumbles. 

Alex strokes Kara’s hair and kisses the top of her head before she and Maggie leave for the night. 

Kara brushes her thumb along Lena’s jaw and gently kisses her forehead. “I love you, beautiful”

 

*****

 

Kara doesn’t sleep much that night, but rather watches as Lena as she sleeps, tracing her thumb along the back of Lena’s hand, mesmerized  by the steady rise and fall of her chest; the rhythmic beeping of the monitors, a subtle melody in the background.  Kara watches the stream of nurses that check in on Lena throughout the day, constantly coming and going, monitoring her condition. They encourage Kara to go and eat, or take a walk to stretch, but Kara refuses to leave Lena’s side.  Kara walked away from the woman she loves once, and she’s never doing it again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feedback to this has been so overwhelming! I never expected this to turn into what it is! Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! I love hearing your thoughts, so keep them coming!

Kara wakes to the feeling of fingers gently raking through her hair.  She’s been sitting by Lena’s beside for two days straight and this is the longest she’s slept since she’s been there.  As she begins to register her surroundings, she hears the beeping of Lena’s monitor and continually steady sound of her breathing. She can smell the flower arrangements that fill the room; one from Jess, one from Alex and Maggie and two Kara had delivered since she refuses to leave the room.  She has her head resting on the edge of the bed, and murmurs contentedly at the comforting feeling.  

“Alex, how long have I been asleep?” She groans as she turns toward the direction of the hand in her hair.  Her breath catches in her throat as she turns to see piercing green eyes blinking back at her.  Instantly, tears flow from her eyes and down her cheeks, a combination of joy and relief washes over her face as she realizes this is what she has been waiting for; Lena’s awake.  

 

*****

 

“Lena,” Kara gasps, her voice still raspy from sleep, “you’re, you’re awake.” Kara grabs her hand and kisses the back of it. 

Lena traces her fingers along Kara’s cheek. “Hey, you.” Lena’s voice is low and airy, as if she’s forgotten how to speak.  

“How are you feeling? I should get your doctor, I need to call Alex,” Kara begins looking around frantically, not certain what to do first. She feels Lena’s hand on her own, providing an instant source of calm.  

“Kara, darling, slow down.” Lena smiles softly. Kara stills and looks into Lena’s eyes, her own blue ones filled with tears.  Kara pushes her face down into the mattress beside Lena’s stomach, sobbing loudly into the material.  Lena rubs Kara’s shoulder in an effort to console the hysterical blonde.  

 

*****

 

Kara finally regained her composure and called for Lena’s doctor.  His face is indifferent as he performs a quick check of Lena’s vitals.  Lena catches the faintest hint of something in his eye, she turns to Kara, fully understanding what he’s not saying.  

“Kara, why don’t you go grab some coffee and something to eat while they check me over. You can call Alex and Maggie, and could you please call Jess for me?” Lena flashes a smile at Kara, knowing the blonde won’t be able to say no. 

“But--” Kara sighs and slumps her shoulders in defeat, “okay. I’ll be right back. Can I bring you anything? Oh wait, can you have anything yet? Doctor, can she like have things?” 

Lena lets out a tired laugh and Kara turns pink with embarrassment.  She motions toward the door, “I’ll be going now. Right, yeah.” Lena looks up to her doctor as he takes a seat beside her.  

“Lena, some of your tests came back, and I don’t like what I’m seeing.”  Lena looks down at her hands, folded in her lap, then back to her doctor as a single tear slides down her cheek.

 

*****

 

When Kara returns, thirty minutes later, it’s clear she’s made a trip to the gift shop.  Lena looks to the armful of assorted items she struggles to carry and breaks into a wide grin.

“What in the world is all that?” 

“Presents!” Kara announces proudly.  She places another vase of flowers on the table beside Lena’s bed.  SHe ties the bunch of balloons she’s wrangling to the top of Lena’s bed, and places a floppy stuffed lion in Lena’s arms. 

“Isn’t he the cutest? I mean, just feel how soft he is.” Kara gushes over the stuffed lion as if her were a newborn baby. 

“Kara, they’re lovely, but you didn’t have to--” 

Kara cuts her off quickly, “Yes, I did.” There’s a touch of seriousness to Kara’s voice that Lena has never heard before.  She brushes it off, and watches as Kara takes a seat.  

“How are you feeling? Are you okay?” Kara asks, her voice laden with concern. 

“I’m okay, still feel tired and weak, but I feel okay.”  Lena looks to Kara, noticing the blonde refuses to look her in the eye.  “The doctor says I collapsed and hit my head.  I was out of it for two days and he said you haven’t left my side since.” 

Kara nods solemnly; she doesn’t dare to look up at Lena.  She bites her cheek to keep herself from crying again, but the tears slip from her eyes anyway.  

“Kara,” Lena lays her hand on Kara’s shoulder, “it’s okay.”

Kara’s had snaps up, her blue eyes glassy with tears, “It’s NOT okay. STOP saying it’s okay.” Kara pulls away from Lena’s touch.  “The last time you saw me, I--I was SO angry, and I left, Lena I left...and then you end up here, and you wouldn’t wake up--and you could have--” Kara takes a shuddering breath, “Lena, what if you had--,” her voice drops to a whisper, shaking her head “I left…” Kara drops her head and quietly whispers, “I’m so sorry.” 

Lena doesn’t notice the tears streaming down her own face as she reaches for Kara.  She grabs Kara’s hand and squeezes it tightly.  “Kara, listen to me,” Lena’s voice is firm, but not angry, “I’m right here. What happened, happened.  We can’t go back and change it, but we can move forward.” Lena pauses, letting the words sink in. “I know we have a lot to talk about, and neither of us is quite ready for that yet, but we can fix this.”  

“Kara, there’s something I need you to know before we get to any of that. And I need you to look at me when I tell you. Can you do that for me?”  Kara slowly lifts her head and nods. “Good.” Lena’s green eyes meet Kara’s blue, as she utters four life-changing words. “Kara, I forgive you.” 


	30. Chapter 30

Lena finally convinces Kara to leave the hospital for a few hours, but only when she tells her that Jess is coming to go over some work matters that Lena needs to attend to. Lena also makes a list of a few things she needs from home, which Kara is all too happy to oblige Lena with.  Before she leaves, Kara reminds her that she’s supposed to be resting, and to take it easy. She leans down and gives Lena a quick kiss, hardly registering the action until it’s done.  She snaps back up and instantly flushes a deep shade of red. 

“Lena, I’m so sorry! We haven’t even talked about, or I don’t even know what we, I just wasn’t thinking and-- I uh, I’m..sorry. Umm, yeah. I should go.” And with that, Kara walks out the door leaving a very confused Lena in her wake. 

 

*****

 

When Kara returns her freshly washed hair is pulled into a neat braid  at the back of her head.  She walks into Lena’s room carrying the items Lena requested and lunch for each of them.  Kara looks toward the bed to see Lena and her doctor caught up  in what appears to be a serious conversation.  The doctor’s face is soft, and Lena is seemingly unaffected by whatever he is saying.  The two stop talking as soon as Kara enters the room.  The doctor stands, rests his hand on Lena’s shoulder, whispers something so only Lena can hear, then turns and excuses himself from the room.  

Lena turns her attention to Kara and the bags she has brought with her.  “Is that soup from Clayton’s?” Lena’s eyes light up as Kara pulls the container from the bag.  

“It sure is. It’s your favorite one, too.”  Kara smiles.  

“Mmmm...thank you.” Lena pushes herself up on her pillows as Kara pulls the tray across Lena’s lap and sets the soup in front of the brunette, being cautious to avoid eye contact.   

“It’s not from me, actually. I stopped in to tell Clayton I’d be out for a while, and he absolutely insisted I bring you soup.”  Kara reaches for the bag and dumps the contents on the tray. “He also sent you extra crackers.” Lena laughs at the pile of crackers spilling into her lap.  

Lena finishes her soup and Kara quickly clears the bowl, pushes the tray aside and helps Lena settle back into a more comfortable position. Kara sits in the chair and turns toward Lena. 

“So, what did you doctor have to say earlier?”  Kara picks at the skin on the side of her thumb. 

“Oh, he was just checking in.” Lena looks down as she talks, and her brow furrows just slightly. 

“Lena..” Kara can tell she’s holding back.  She doesn’t want to lose her cool, so she keeps her voice calm and steady. 

Lena sighs, “He ran some tests to try to figure out what caused me to collapse.  Some of the tests came back, umm, a little off, so he’d like to run some further tests.”

Kara opens her mouth and then closes it, worry settles across her face.  “What kind of tests? Does he--What does he think it could be?”

“There are a few possibilities, but we won’t know for sure until he does the tests. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing.”  

Kara hangs her head, no longer sure if she can trust what Lena says, but rather than challenging her, she looks back to Lena, “Okay.”

 

*****

 

Maggie and Alex bring dinner and a few board games, which was a nice distraction for them all, a sort of traveling game night. There’s laughter and light hearted banter, and it almost feels as though they’re back in Kara’s apartment and the events of the previous several days never happened. Maggie and Alex share vague stories of interesting cases they are working on and  Lena shares the gossip she’s picked up about the other patients and tells stories of things she’s seen that have the others doubled over laughing. Kara seems atypically quiet. 

Maggie and Alex give Kara and Lena hugs, and head home for the night.  Kara finishes cleaning things up, and makes sure Lena has everything she needs.  Kara settles into her chair and the two women sit in silence, the elephant in the room standing directly between them.  Lena is the first to break the silence.

“I think it’s time to talk.” 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loving the feedback! Keep it coming!!!!

Lena makes Kara sit at the end of the bed with her, making it feel like they’re in Kara’s apartment sitting on opposite ends of the couch and not in a cold, impersonal hospital room.   

“I think we need a few ground rules.  First, we each let the other finish before we speak.  Second, no yelling, we are in a hospital after all. Third, we’re honest,” Kara’s face winces at Lena’s insistence of honesty,  “yeah, yeah I know, pot calling the kettle black. Sound good?” Lena pokes Kara’s knee with her foot. 

Kara nods, “Uh, yeah. Um, would you mind if I go first?” Lena gestures toward Kara, indicating the floor is hers. Kara takes a deep breath, determined to tell Lena everything she wants to; everything she needs to.  “I’m sorry.” 

“Yes, we’ve established that and--” Kara shoots a look at Lena, “right, rule number one, sorry.”

“Lena, I’m sorry for so many things.  I’ve made so many mistakes, and I’d do anything to go back and fix every one. I haven’t always been the girlfriend you deserve. I know that I’m not always the easiest person to love, but you’ve always been so patient and understanding, always doing your best to take care of me.”  Kara’s lip trembles as she fights to hold back tears.  “The fight we had, I was so stupid.  I, I’d been so worried about you; you weren’t eating well, and you kept losing weight, and I--I knew something wasn’t right, and then I stopped in to see you at work, and you weren’t there, so I called you and you lied to me.”  The tears roll down Kara’s face, dripping off her chin and falling to the bed.  Lena wants nothing more than to kiss each one away, but she knows Kara need this; to be painfully honest. “I shouldn’t have left my ring that night, I didn’t, I didn’t mean to do that, I was just  _ so _ hurt and so  _ angry _ , it’s like I wasn’t thinking straight.”  Kara looks down at the bed, her voice softer, betraying the brokenness she feels inside, “Then you collapsed--and you weren’t--and I all I could think was what if that night was the last--was the last time…”  Kara can’t finish the thought. Her body trembles as she lets loose everything she has been holding back. Lena wants to reach out and hold Kara, to comfort her and let her cry until she falls asleep, but there’s more to be said between them, and if she doesn’t let this run its course, they’ll never get anywhere.  Lena leans over and rubs Kara’s shoulders. Kara reaches up and catches Lena’s hand in her own, clinging on as if her life depended on it.  Kara presses the back of Lena’s hand to her cheek, “I can’t lose you.” Kara kisses Lena’s knuckles, “I love you.”

Lena wipes the tears from her own eyes and exhales loudly.  Lena clears her throat before she speaks, “I’m sorry too, Kara.  I know I’ve said that to you so many times it probably doesn’t even hold any meaning anymore, but I am; I’m sorry.  I  messed up too, and made mistakes, and yeah, I wish I could go back, but like I’ve told you already, we can’t. We can only move forward, and I want to, move forward. I want to get beyond this, and I want to do it with you.” Lena looks away, briefly.  She knows it’s now or never. Lena looks back to Kara, “I need to be completely honest with you Kara.  I’m sorry I lied in the first place, I, I just panicked.  When you called me, I was in the middle of something, and I still can’t tell you yet, which I know isn’t helpful to regaining your trust, but I  _ need _ you to believe me that I’ll tell you as soon as I can.  While I can’t tell you where I was, I absolutely shouldn’t have lied to you about not being at work.  I’m so sorry.” 

“Lena, why didn’t you--” Lena looks up, her expression more stoic. 

“Kara, there’s more.” Lena rubs her hand along her forearm,  needing to provide some comfort to herself.  “My doctor came to see me earlier, which you know, and he did order another test.” Lena looks to Kara, seeing the distinct combination of panic and trepidation etched across her face, “He’s ordered a bone marrow biopsy, for tomorrow.”  

Kara can’t stop the audible gasp that slips past her lips.  She freezes in shock and disbelief at what Lena has just told her.  Her mouth moves, but no sound comes out.  

“He thinks it’s--” Kara’s can’t bring herself to finish her thought, which is not so much a question as it is a statement. 

Lena nods slowly, not brave enough to look up at Kara.  “We won’t know for sure but he says that’s what it looks like. I understand if you don’t want to--” Lena’s words are cut off; Kara’s lips suddenly on her own.  Kara pulls back and reaches up to take Lena’s face in her hands.  She presses their foreheads together and whispers softly, “I’m not going anywhere, Lena.”  She brushes the tears falling from Lena’s eyes.  Lena buries her face in Kara’s shoulder, her small frame shaking in Kara’s arms.  Kara kisses the top of Lena’s head as she whispers into Lena’s hair, “I love you, Lena.” 

 

*****

 

Lena falls asleep in Kara’s arms that night, while Kara doesn’t sleep at all.  Her mind races with thoughts of every possible outcome of Lena’s test results.  She desperately tries to turn her brain off, to stop it from getting too far ahead, but she can’t.  Kara looks down at the beautiful woman in her arms and her heart tightens in her chest as she thinks about the possibility of losing her. She wipes the tears from her eyes and kisses Lena’s cheek, careful not to wake the woman snuggled against her chest.  Lena’s the best thing to ever happen to Kara, and she needs to make sure Lena knows it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...go ahead...yell....


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe this has over 10000 hits!!!! Thank you everyone!!!! I seriously look forward to each and every comment, keep them coming!

Lena stirs in Kara’s arms, she turns and looks up at Kara, “You’re awake.”  She leans up and presses her lips to Kara’s. 

Kara smiles, “How’d you sleep?” 

Lena stretches, “Better than I have in a while.” Lena stretches and lets out a little squeak as she does.  She brushes Kara’s cheek, “How about you? You look tired still.” 

“Don’t worry about me, sweetie.”  Kara brushes the hair out of Lena’s face, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Lena’s nurse arrives to help her get ready for the day. Kara reluctantly climbs off the bed and steps into the bathroom to change her clothes. She looks at her reflection in the mirror, noting the dark circles around her red eyes.  She washes up the best she can and puts on a fresh change of clothes.  She pulls her hair back into messy bun.  She sighs, it’s good enough.  She hears the nurse leave, and slowly exits the bathroom.  

Lena is sitting on the edge of her bed, letting her feet dangle off the side.  Kara sits beside her and wraps her hand around Lena’s. Lena rests her head on Kara’s shoulder, her voice is soft and low, “I’m scared.”

“I know, honey; me too.” Kara wraps her arms around Lena and hugs her tightly, “me too…”

 

*****

 

It’s not long before Lena is back in her room, still groggy from the sedative they gave her.  Kara sits by her bed as Lena drifts off to sleep.  Kara watches Lena, and can’t help but notice just how small and fragile she looks.  Kara bows her head and lets the tears flow again.  The results won’t be back until the following day, so now all they can do is wait. Wait, and worry. She suddenly sits up, an inspired look on her face.  She wipes her face and grabs her phone.  She leaves a note for Lena, in case she wakes up before she returns.  She stops by the nurse’s station before she leaves.  She’s got to do something to take their minds off the test results, and she know’s just the thing. 

 

*****

 

When Kara returns, Lena is just starting to wake up.  “Hey sleepyhead, how are you feeling?’ Kara smiles at Lena.  

“I’m...ouch....I’m sore.”  Lena attempts to shift her position, but winces at the pain in her hip. Kara sits on the edge of Lena’s bed and rubs her arm.  She leans down and places a kiss on Lena’s cheek.  

“Do you want me to get the nurse?” Kara asks. 

“No, no,” Lena protests, “I’m ok.” 

Kara tilts her head, “Lena, you just had a needle shoved into you bone, you’re entitled to not be okay.”  

Lena lets out a laugh, and soon enough Kara is joining in.  It’s the lightest they’ve felt in days.  Kara knows this is the perfect time. 

“I’ll be right back.” Kara returns a few minutes later, carrying a large basket.  She places it on the floor and wheels Lena’s tray across the bed.  

“Kara, what are you doing?” Lena looks to Kara, not quite understanding what she’s doing. 

“You’ll see.” Kara smiles.  Kara pulls a blindfold from the basket and slips it over Lena’s eyes.  

“Umm, Kara, I won’t see if you blindfold me.” Lena teases.  

“Oh shush, smartypants.” Kara kisses Lena’s nose before turning back to the basket.  She pulls out a tablecloth and lays it across the tray.  She sets out two bowls of soup and places a battery operated candle in the center of the tray.  She positions herself at the opposite end of the bed from Lena and tells Lena she can remove the blindfold. 

Lena’s mouth opens in shock as she looks at the set up before her.  “Kara, what is this?”

“I thought we could use a date night,” Kara smiles shyly, “Oh! I almost forgot.”  Kara reaches into the basket and pulls a single red rose, presenting it to Lena, “For you, my love.”  

Lena tilts her head, “Have I ever told you that you, Kara Danvers, are the absolute sweetest?” 

Kara blushes, “You can always tell me again.” Kara winks at Lena, who let’s out a laugh. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

 

*****

 

After dessert, Kara pushes the tray aside and climbs into bed next to Lena.  She wraps her arms around her and holds her close.  Lena turns toward Kara and kisses her slow and sweet.  “Thank you, for tonight.  It was absolutely perfect, just like you.” Lena kisses Kara again but the kiss is cut short when Lena cries out in pain. 

“Honey, let me call the nurse and get you something for the pain.” Kara speaks softly, brushing back Lena’s dark hair.  Lena simply nods.  A few moments later, a blonde nurse is providing Lena with some much needed relief.  Kara keeps her snuggled close as the drugs begin to take effect.  

The two lay together in silence while Kara rubs Lena’s back.  Lena breaks the silence, her words slow and shaky, “Kara, what if--”

Kara cuts her off before she can finish the question.  “Lena, whatever it is, we’ll get through it. Together.”  Kara presses her lips to Lena’s forehead and holds Lena closer as the brunette buries her face in Kara’s neck.  Lena cries herself to sleep in Kara’s arms, and again, Kara doesn’t sleep. 

 

*****

 

It’s just after lunch when Lena’s doctor enters the room.  He nods toward Kara, and Lena insists that she stay.  They both know why he is here, and neither is fully ready for this discussion.  Kara reaches for Lena’s hand, squeezing it tightly.  Lena’s  doctor begins to speak, and explains that the preliminary results have come back.  He pauses and takes a deep breath.  Lena closes her eyes tightly.  He doesn’t have to say the words, she already knows; the test came back positive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, don't hate me.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to sincerely apologize to anyone I may have hurt by not tagging that last chapter prior to posting. I did not mean to be insensitive and I would never do such a thing on purpose. Please forgive me. Also, to calm many concerns, this story will NOT end in death. I'm not a monster, contrary to what many of you may believe. ;-) As always, thank you so much for reading and providing awesome feedback. You all challenge me to be a better writer, and I am so thankful for each one of you! Much love and thanks!!!

After the doctor confirms the news Lena had been expecting, he leaves to give her some time to process the diagnosis.   They will discuss treatment options a bit later, when the shock has worn off some.  

Kara climbs into Lena’s hospital bed and wraps her arms around her girlfriend.  Lena breaks down and sobs into Kara’s chest.  Kara  holds her close and lets her cry.  Kara wants to break down and cry with Lena, but she doesn’t allow herself to, she needs to be strong for Lena, for them both.  

 

*****

 

The doctor presents Lena with a few different options for treatment.  It’s decided that Lena will undergo a month long course of intensive chemotherapy.  Her doctor decides it’s best if she stay in the hospital for the duration of the treatment as the side effects can be quite severe.  This will also allow Lena to be closely monitored for any further complications.  Lena stares blankly the entire time the doctor speaks.  She provides short answers to his questions and her voice is flat and expressionless.  Kara notices the drastic shift in Lena’s demeanor and squeezes her hand.  When the meeting is finished, it is decided that treatment will begin as soon as possible.  As the doctor stands to exit the room, Kara excuses herself and follows him out.  She stands outside Lena’s room and holds a brief conversation with him.  Lena watches as he casts a look in Lena’s direction before turning back to Kara and nodding.  Kara shakes his hand and returns to Lena’s room.  

“What was that all about?” Lena asks softly. 

“Just wanted to ask him something” Kara takes a seat in the chair, “I called Alex and Maggie, they’ll be here soon.”  

Lena looks away, staring through the window, blinking back tears, something she has grown tired of already.  Kara can tell Lena is worried, and she cannot blame her.  She wishes more than anything that she could take her place, that she could do this for her.  Kara slips into the bed with Lena and takes her face in her hands, running her thumbs along Lena’s cheekbones, brushing away the tears that roll down her face.  

“I love you, so much. I’m going to be by your side through this whole thing, ok?”  Kara kisses Lena sweetly, pulling her into her arms.  

“No matter what?” Lena questions, her voice a rough whisper. Kara pulls back to look deep into Lena’s emerald green eyes.

“No matter what.” 

 

*****

 

Alex and Maggie stop in for a bit.  They sit in silence as Kara explains the next part of the process.  Lena hasn’t said more than a few words, but nobody can fault her for that.  Maggie’s phone rings, and she quickly silences the noise.  She looks to Alex, the signal that it’s time to go.  The two women say their goodbyes and Kara walks them out to the elevator down the hall.  Kara returns a few minutes later, pushing a wheelchair.  She smiles brightly, as she begins to pack a few of Lena’s things into a bag.  

“Come on.”  Kara turns to Lena, offering her arm for support as she motions toward the chair. 

Lena looks at Kara as if she has grown a second head, “And just where do you think we’re going?”

“Home.” Lena shoots Kara a wide eyed look. “I got your doctor to agree to it.  He said that pushing treatment back one  day  won’t make any difference, so we’re going home.  I promised to have you here first thing Monday morning.”  Kara can’t read Lena’s expression. She looks down at the floor, suddenly wondering if she’s made a terrible mistake.  “Lena, I’m sorry, I just thought--”

Lena swings her legs over the side of the bed, slipping her shoes on.  She slides off the bed and kisses Kara’s cheek before sitting in the chair.  “Let’s go home, darling.” 

 

*****

 

Lena seems to have brightened up by the time they return to Kara’s apartment.  Lena goes to take a shower while Kara orders takeout from Lena’s favorite place.  Kara sets up blankets and pillows on the floor, and lights a few candles around the room. There’s a knock at the door; the takeout is here.  Kara sets the food up and retrieves two bottled waters from the fridge, just as Lena is stepping out from the bathroom.  

“Kara,” Lena begins, “what is--” 

“I figured we both could use a night off from everything.  No talking about treatment or the hospital or anything like that.  Tonight is all about your favorites.  I got your favorite takeout, that cheesy  romantic movie you love is in the DVD player, and those candles that smell entirely too strong are burning. I think that’s everything.”  

Lena shakes her head. “You forgot something.”  

Kara’s brow crinkles as she tries to figure out what she’s missed.  She thinks out loud, “Food, movie, candles--”

Kara’s musings are halted by Lena’s lips pressed against hers.  “You, silly.  You can’t make a list of my favorite things and not include you.”  Kara’s face softens in understanding.  She smiles as she takes in the beautiful woman before her. Kara kisses the tip of Lena’s nose. 

“Let’s eat before the food gets cold.” Kara tugs Lena’s hand, pulling her towards the living room.  

They enjoy their meal, while they watch the movie. Lena’s appetite still not quite normal, but she manages to nearly finish all of  her pasta.  Kara’s heart warms seeing Lena look more relaxed than she has in weeks, some of the light returning to her eyes.  Kara leans back against the couch and Lena snuggles against her side as the movie finishes.  

Lena climbs into Kara’s lap, wraps her arms around the blonde’s neck and kisses her.  The kiss is long and slow, full of longing and passion.  When she finally breaks the kiss, she smiles at Kara.  “I think it’s time for dessert.”  

Kara’s face falls, “Oh, I um..I didn’t…” Lena looks at Kara, her eyebrow raised suggestively. “Oh, OH, you uh, didn’t mean--”  Lena cuts off Kara’s rambling with another kiss before standing and walking toward the bedroom.  She looks back over her shoulder.

“You coming?”  

Kara jumps to her feet, and follows Lena, grinning the entire time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought you all could use a little fluff in your lives. :-)


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!!! You're the best!!!! Keep those comments coming!

Lena  rolls over, reaching for Kara, only to be met with an empty bed and cold sheets.  She stretches and drags herself out of the bed, shuffling out of the bedroom.  Lena finds Kara sitting in the window sill, clutching a cup of coffee in her hands.  She’s staring off into the distance, and Lena can’t help but be struck by how strikingly beautiful she is as the morning light catches her blue eyes, making them sparkle like sapphires.  Lena clears her throat, announcing her presence, not wanting to startle the blonde who appears to be lost in her own little world.  Kara snaps her head toward Lena. 

“Hey, I didn’t hear you get up.” Kara looks down at her mug, “I made coffee. Can I get you some?” 

Lena nods, “How long have you been up?”  

Kara shrugs, not actually answering Lena’s question.  She pours coffee into a mug and hands it to Lena. “Here you go. Now,  what would you like to do today?”  

Lena takes a sip of her coffee, never taking her eyes off of Kara.   Something seems off about her today but Lena can’t quite put her finger on what it is.  Lena shakes it off and smiles. “Whatever you’d like to do, darling.” 

Kara smiles softly, “I, um, have something planned for us for later, but the rest of the day is completely free. Anything you want, just say the word.” 

Lena’s eyes sparkle and a mischievous smile dances across her face, “Anything?”  

 

*****

 

Kara looks into Lena’s eyes, her arms wrapped around her waist, “You’re sure?” Kara asks once more, confirming what she already knows.  Lena bites her lip and simply nods.  Kara should have known this is what Lena would choose, she’s only been hinting at it for months, and though it’s not really Kara’s thing, Kara will do anything for Lena. even the National City Art Museum. Lena grabs Kara’s hand and drags her into the building.  Kara lets Lena lead her through the halls of paintings and sculptures, taking time to appreciate each one.  Kara has never really understood the way people go crazy for walking through a museum staring at paintings trying to find deeper meaning, but it makes Lena happy and right now that’s the only thing in the world that matters.  

 

*****

 

When they arrive back home, Kara disappears into the bedroom, rummaging through the closet for something.  She returns to the couch where Lena is sitting and kisses Lena’s cheek.  

“I’m gonna go change, I’ve laid something out for you, I’d love for you to wear it.” Kara says with a slight wink.  Lena walks to the bedroom and sees one of her favorite dresses laid out on the bed. She slips into it before applying her makeup and fixing her hair. Lena checks herself in the mirror and notices how the dress hangs off her slight frame more than it used to.  Kara hasn’t told her where they are going, but she knows Kara so she knows that wherever it is, she’s going to love it.  Lena walks out to the living room to meet Kara. 

“Kara?” Lena calls out, looking around the apartment.   There’s a knock at the door.  When Lena opens the door, Kara is standing before her, a small bouquet of flower in her hand.  Lena’s mouth drops open; Kara looks gorgeous, as usual, though Lena can’t see what she is wearing beneath her tan coat.  Kara steps inside and helps Lena find a vase for the flowers.  

Kara opens the car door for Lena, closing it carefully behind her before settling into the driver’s seat,  Kara starts the car and drives in the direction of their destination, beyond the city limits.  Lena knows exactly where they’re headed; Cedarvale.  Kara parks the car and jumps out, rushing around to get Lena’s door for her.  

They turn and head toward the garden and as they do, Kara links her pinky with Lena’s.  As they walk along the path, Kara leads them to the right and Lena gasps as they come upon a picnic blanket spread with a wide variety of foods.  Kara removes her coat and Lena notes the dark wash jeans and pink blouse.  She gasps as she puts it all together; Kara has perfectly recreated their first date. 

 

*****

 

It’s just after nine when they return home for the evening.  Kara disappears into the bathroom and returns a moment later.  “I’ve got the tub running, would you like to join me for a bath?”  Lena smiles and nods and moments later Kara leans against the tub with Lena seated in front of her, her back against Kara’s chest.  Kara washes Lena’s hair, then gently washes her back and arms.  Lena lays back into Kara’s embrace and the two fall silent; each seeming to know what the other is thinking.  

Lena is the first to break the silence.  “I was picking out a ring.” 

“What?” 

“I was at the jewelry store, picking out an engagement ring. That’s where I was that day, when you called me.  I’ve been planning to propose to you.” Lena confesses, dropping her head at the end.  Kara’s heart beats so hard in her chest, that she is certain Lena can feel it in her back.  She tries to speak, but her brain has suddenly forgotten how to send words to her mouth.  

“You--I--Lena, why didn’t you say anything?”  Kara finally pieces together. 

“I wanted to wait until the ring came in. I -I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”  Lena’s voice is shaking and Kara can tell she is fighting back tears. 

Kara asks the question, but she isn’t sure she wants to know the answer, “So why now?”

“I want to be sure you know how much you mean to me, in case…” Her voice trails off and Kara wraps her arms around her as she breaks down.

“Shhh...shhhh...I’ve got you, love.” Kara holds Lena and rocks her gently.  “You’re gonna fight like hell, and beat this, then you can propose to me, just like you planned, do you hear me?” Lena trembles in Kara’s embrace.  Kara holds her just like that until the sobs have dissipated  and the water has run cold.  She carefully helps Lena out of the tub and wraps her in a large fluffy towel.  She dries herself quickly and helps Lena into her pajamas before tucking her into bed.  Kara slips into the bed beside Lena and feels the brunette snuggle close.  “What do you need? What can I do?” Kara whispers in the dark.  

“Just hold me.” Lena mumbles.  Kara holds Lena close, rubbing her back and humming softly.  She feels the moment her breathing evens out and  she finally surrenders to sleep. It’s only after Lena is asleep that Kara lets her own tears fall.  Lena is her whole world, and she will not lose her. Kara pulls Lena closer to her chest and lays her head back against the pillow and once again, Kara doesn’t sleep. 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are seriously the best readers ever! Thank you for all the love you send via comments and Kudos!   
> *****DISCLAIMER***** All of the medical information is a result of some basic research. I'm sorry if it is incorrect or slightly unrealistic.

Kara stands in the shower, hot water streaming over her face, washing away the steady flow of tears falling from her eyes.  She composes herself, turns the water off, and steps out, wrapping herself in a towel.  She checks the time, it’s just after six; Lena needs to be at the hospital by 7:30.  Kara towels herself off and pulls on her clothes for the day.  She pulls a brush through her wet hair and walks into the bedroom.  

Lena is still sleeping. Kara stands in the doorway and just stares at the woman who looks like an angel in the soft morning sun. She doesn’t want to do this.  She doesn’t want to wake her peacefully sleeping girlfriend. She doesn’t want to drive her to the hospital and check her in for at least the next month.  She doesn’t want to watch her undergo a treatment that will most likely make her worse before it possibly makes her better.  Kara doesn’t want today to be real, but it is.  She doesn’t want to do it, any of it, but she will, for Lena. 

She walks softly to the bed and crouches beside it.  “Lena,” she whispers, “Lena, honey, it’s time to get up.” Lena stirs, mumbling in protest.  This is one of Kara’s favorite versions of Lena; sleepy Lena.  Kara finds her absolutely adorable when she’s just waking up.  Lena rolls over and blinks her eyes open, green eyes staring back into Kara’s blue.  Kara brushes the hair from Lena’s face, “Good morning, beautiful.” Kara kisses her forehead softly before standing to her feet.  

Lena pulls herself out of the bed and moves about the apartment, quietly readying herself to go.  When she walks into the kitchen, Kara has made her a small breakfast of scrambled egg, one slice of multigrain toast, and a few sliced strawberries.  Lena sits and eats, neither woman speaking, not knowing what to say.  Kara checks the clock, it’s just before seven.  It’s almost time to go. 

 

*****

 

Kara drives them to National City General, holding Lena’s hand the entire drive.  Just before they enter the hospital, Kara tugs Lena’s hand, stopping the brunette woman in her tracks.  Kara takes Lena’s face in her hands and looks deep into her eyes.  “I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling right now. I want you to know I’m going to be right by your side, each and every step of the way.  I love you more than I can ever express, Lena Luthor, Always and forever. No matter what.”  She kisses Lena firmly. It’s a kiss that conveys every unspoken word between them.  Kara pulls back and wipes the tears that have pooled in Lena’s eyes.  She kisses her forehead before taking her hand and walking through the front doors. 

 

*****

 

Lena meets with her doctor before she begins.  He goes through what she can expect, possible side effects, and lots of information that all buzzes around in Kara’s head. Lena has a pile of forms that she needs to sign before the doctor can even order the treatment. Kara waits quietly while Lena is taken for a brief exam and blood draw.  Lena returns to the room and a nurse gives her some medication that will help prevent any nausea.  The nurse leaves and the two women are alone for a brief moment.  

“I love you, Kara.” Lena whispers in a voice barely enough for Kara to hear.  Before Kara can respond, the nurse has returned; it’s time.  Kara is allowed to stay throughout the entire duration of the infusion.  She holds Lena’s hand and tries to distract her by talking about anything, everything and absolutely nothing.  When the treatment is over, Kara follows Lena back to her room and watches as the nurses help Lena into her bed.  Kara encouraged Lena to sleep, but she stubbornly refuses. 

 

*****

 

A few hours later and Lena is feeling the effects already.  She is curled into a ball, overwhelmed by the nausea that has crashed over her like a tidal wave.  Kara rubs her back and hums softly, trying desperately to ease the discomfort Lena is feeling.  Kara’s heart turns in her chest, wishing there was something she could do.  Lena sits up, a vacant look in her eyes.  Her stomach turns and she vomits all over Kara. Kara reaches for Lena’s call button and pushes it, signalling for the nurse on call.  The older blonde woman comes rushing in, and immediately takes Lena to help her get cleaned up.  She points Kara in the direction of the family lounge where she can shower and clean up herself.  Kara grabs a change of clothes and gets herself cleaned up.  When she returns to Lena’s room, Lena is back in bed, wearing a fresh pair of pajamas.  Her eyes are half open and she turns her head slowly as Kara enters.  

“Hey love, are you feeling any better?” Kara strokes Lena’s hair.  

“The nurse gave me some more medicine that has helped a little.”  Lena looks at Kara, fresh from her second shower of the day. “I’m sorry for--”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Kara smiles warmly. “Can I get you anything?” Lena shakes her head.  Kara moves the chair closer to Lena’s bed and sits.  

“Can I ask you something?” Lena asks after a few moments of silence. 

“Always.” 

“What are you doing about work?”  

“Vacation time.” Kara answers quickly. 

“Some vacation.” Lena mutters. 

“Hey, there’s no way I’d rather spend my vacation than with you.” Kara kisses Lena’s cheek.  “You should get some rest.”  Kara pulls the blankets around Lena, making sure she’s comfortable. 

“Kara, will you lay with me?” 

“Of course, beautiful.”  Kara climbs into the bed beside Lena, wrapping her arms around her. Lena snuggles close and Kara listens as her breathing deepens just a few moments later. 

 “Goodnight, Lena” Kara presses a kiss to Lena’s head and let’s her head fall back on the pillow, hot tears slipping down her cheeks.  


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...

Kara sits by Lena’s bed, day and night, throughout her treatment.  She had promised to be by her side, every step of the way and she intended to do just that.  Kara looks over the sleeping woman in the bed.  Her naturally fair complexion has paled to an unhealthy color. Her face is gaunt, and her eyes are sunken in. Kara notices how small she looks in the bed and her heart tightens in her ribcage.  

Alex appears in the doorway holding two cups of coffee and a bag from the bakery around the corner from the hospital.  She watches Kara as she sits faithfully by Lena’s side, though the woman is sleeping. 

“Hey,” Alex keeps her voice quiet to keep from disturbing Lena’s sleep. “I thought you could use some real coffee.” 

“Thanks.”  Alex hands Kara the coffee and the bag of pastry.  

“How’s she doing?” Alex sits in the chair across from Kara.  

“The treatment makes her really sick.  She barely eats and when she does it always comes back up.  She’s been really weak lately, and she sleeps a lot. SHe has one more infusion then bloodwork to see how well it’s working.” Kara gives Alex an account of Lena’s condition. Alex can hear in Kara’s voice just how tired she is.  

“Lena’s a fighter, that I know.” Alex turns toward Kara, “How are  _ you _ doing?” 

“I’m fine.” Kara answers quickly, perhaps too quickly.

“Kara, I know you’re not fine, this is me you’re talking to. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks. I can’t imagine you’re eating very well and you haven’t been outside in almost a month. Honestly, Kara, I’m worried about you. Maggie is too.” 

Kara stares blankly at her coffee cup.  She’s silent for several minutes.  When she finally speaks, her voice is barely a whisper, “Alex, I’m scared.”  Kara can’t hold back any longer and the tears come in full force.  Alex rushes to her sister’s side and wraps her in a tight hug.  Kara sobs into Alex’s shoulder,mumbling about it being her fault, and Alex just holds her sister, knowing there are no words to offer.  Neither woman realizes that Lena is awake and has been watching the entire exchange. 

 

*****

 

Four days after Kara’s breakdown with Alex, Lena’s doctor stops in to bring the results of Lena’s bloodwork.  Kara reaches for Lena’s hand, wrapping hers around it gently. 

Lena is the first to speak after the doctor sits.  “I don’t want any build up, just tell me what it is.”  Her voice sounds tired, betraying the toll the past four weeks has taken on the woman. 

“Lena,” her doctor begins.  He doesn’t need to go any further.  Lena can tell by the way he said her name that the news isn’t good.  Instantly the tears roll down her face, and Kara inhales sharply. 

“I’m not going home am I?” Lena asks plainly. 

“I’m sorry, but the tests show that there’s been no significant change in your bloodwork. We can start another round of chemo, but would like to give your body a few days to rest first.”  Lena doesn’t respond, she simply nods. 

Kara watches Lena as the doctor provides more forms to sign before she can begin the next round of treatment.  Her heart feels as though it no longer resides in her chest, and empty aching hollow in its place. 

  
  


*****

 

It happens three days before Lena is to begin her second round of treatment.  Kara is sitting by Lena’s bed, flipping through channels on the television when Lena makes the unexpected statement.

“I want you to go back to work.”  Lena tells Kara resolutely, as if there is no room for discussion. 

“What?” Kara turns the tv off and turns toward the frail woman in the bed beside her. 

“Go back to wor--” 

“No, no. I heard you the first time.  I just-- no.” 

“Kara,” Lena tilts her head, reaching for Kara’s hand.  “You can’t--”

Alex and Maggie walk through the door at just the right time, saving them from what is certain to be at least a heated discussion, at worst a full-blown argument.  Greetings are exchanged and the air in the room is tense.  Maggie and Alex exchange glances, trying to read the situation. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Alex announces she is going to get some coffee and forces Kara to go with her.  As soon as they leave, Lena looks up at Maggie.

“Sorry about that.”  Lena offers a weak apology.  

“No worries, Luthor.”  Maggie shrugs.  “Want to talk about it?”

“I told her I want her to go back to work.” 

“Oh. Um, yeah.” Maggie stammers.  Lena offers a confused look. 

“What is it?” 

“She’ll kill me, if I--” Maggie protests, but looking at Lena knows it’s no use. “Lena, Kara quit three weeks ago.”  

 

*****

 

Alex and Kara return with coffees in hand.  Kara smiles and is met with a blood-chilling glare from Lena.  Alex looks to Maggie who only offers an apologetic look.  The air is fraught with tension, worse than before.  Maggie clears her throat. 

“I, uh, we should be going. Work thing.”  She catches Alex’s eye and motions toward the door. Alex understands and quick goodbyes are exchanged.  As soon as the two women exit the room, Lena confronts Kara. 

“You quit your job?” 

Kara’s face falls.  “I’m going to kill Maggie” She mutters under her breath. 

“Talk. Kara. Now.” Lena demands.

Kara lets out an exasperated sigh, “I--I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I knew you’d be upset.  It’s just a job, Lena. You’re more important and I need to be here with you.” 

“Kara, you worked so hard at Clayton’s.  You love it there. Why would you--”

“Because I love you more.”  Kara looks up at Lena, blue eyes meeting soft green.  Lena opens her arms and Kara quickly steps forward into Lena’s embrace.  

“I love you too Kar..”  

Lena’s voice trails off and her arms drop from around Kara’’s neck.  

“Lena?” Kara pulls back and notices the limp woman in her arms.  “LENA!” 

Suddenly Lena’s monitor begins beeping rapidly. Kara stands there in shock as Lena's heart rate climbs higher and higher, the alert from the monitor matching the increased tempo.  Without warning it stops and emits a solid, steady tone.  Lena's heart has stopped. Kara releases a gut-wrenching cry and falls to the floor as Lena’s room is flooded with doctors and nurses, working feverishly to revive her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry....I promise, I'm not a monster.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please don't hate me....there's light up ahead, I PROMISE!!!!

Alex sits next to her sister in the waiting room she’d been ushered to.  Kara doesn’t speak, but stares straight ahead as tears drip from her cheeks.  The doctor came in to explain that Lena’s heart had stopped, likely a result of the chemotherapy, but they were able to revive her.  They’ve taken her to run some tests but will let Kara know when she is able to see her again.  

“It’s all my fault.”  Kara speaks after what seems to be an eternity of silence.  Alex tries to hide the confused look on her face. 

“Kara, sweetie, no. Her heart was weakened by the treatment.”  Alex places her hand on Kara’s shoulder, trying desperately to comfort the blonde. 

“No, not the fight, though that too.  Before. I knew something was wrong.  She wasn’t eating, she was so tired all the time, and she kept losing weight. She told me it was just stress, but I should have pushed harder.  Maybe if I had, she wouldn’t…” 

Alex takes Kara’s face in her hands.  “Kara, this is not your fault, do you understand me?”  Her voice is firm, but not angry.  “Cancer, it sucks. It’s not anybody’s fault, and there isn’t anything you could have done.” 

Kara looks to Alex, tears pooling in her blue eyes, “I can’t lose her, Alex. I just can’t.” 

Alex pulls Kara in her arms and rubs her back, “I know….I know.”

 

*****

 

Lena is asleep when Kara is finally able to see her again.  She sits by Lena’s bed, carefully tracing her fingertips along Lena’s face.  Her fingers dance over the small scar over her eye where she had hit her head when she collapsed. She traces her hand along Lena’s arm, her strong beautiful arms that Kara has been wrapped up in more times than she can count.  Kara brushes her thumb along Lena’s prominent cheekbones, tracing down along her jawline and slowly across her lips.  Kara still remembers the soft  warmth of those lips the first time Lena kissed her.   Kara wipes the tears from her eyes and kisses Lena’s forehead. Kara stands and walks toward the door, she turns back and looks toward Lena. 

“I love you.” She whispers before she walks toward the elevator, leaving the hospital for the first time in more than a month. 

 

*****

 

Lena weakly opens her eyes and is just barely able to make out the outline of someone sitting in the chair beside her.   _ Kara _ .  She blinks as her vision slowly comes into focus.  “Alex.” She whispers.  

“Lena.” Alex breathes out in relief.  Lena looks around the room, eyes scanning for the one person she desperately want to see.  

“Where--?” 

Alex takes Lena’s hand.  “She--She’s not here. She um, left yesterday”  Alex looks down before looking back to Lena. “I uh, haven’t heard from her since.” Lena exhales as tears fill her eyes.  Alex squeezes her hand gently and sits with her in silence. 

 

*****

Alex and Maggie take turns staying with Lena since Kara left the hospital three days before. Alex has called her repeatedly, but each time the call simply goes to voicemail.  

_ “Kara, please, just come back. Or  call. Text.  Let us know you’re okay. We’re all worried about you.  Lena starts her next round of treatment tomorrow.  You should be there.  I love you.”  _

The next time Alex calls, an automated voice comes on the line indicating the voicemail box is full.  _ Where are you Kara? _

 

*****

 

Alex helps Lena find a comfortable position, propping the pillows behind her, and laying the blanket from Kara’s apartment across her lap.  

“Thank you, Alex.” Lena sounds tired, her body fighting an unseen battle.  Alex sits in the chair and leans back, smiling at Lena. 

“How are you doing?”  

“I’m tired, and weak.  Not looking forward to starting this all over again.” 

“I didn’t mean physically. You’ve got a lot you’re dealing with, Lena. I just want you to know that you can talk to me.” 

Lena lets out a deep sigh. “What if she doesn’t come back, Alex”  Alex watches as the tears begin to run down Lena’s face.  “What if this was all just too much for her to handle and she doesn’t come back.”  

Alex takes Lena’s hand.  “Lena, Kara’s  done this since she was a kid.  She gets stressed out, and overwhelmed and she hides. I can’t even tell you how many times I’d find her hiding under her bed, or up on the roof because she’d had a fight with a friend, or too much school work. I know everything  has been weighing heavily on her, much more than she’s willing to admit.  I don’t know where she is,  but I know she’ll come back; she always does. My sister may be an idiot, but she’s an idiot that’s completely in love with you. She’ll be back.” 

“She’s right.”  Lena and Alex snap their heads toward the direction of the familiar voice.  There in the doorway, head dipped, looking slightly sheepish stands Kara Danvers.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself...

Lena stares wide-eyed at Kara, trying to decide if she’s going to yell at her, or burst into tears.  Alex notices that Kara looks different, better.  The light seems to have returned to her eyes and she looks as though a giant weight has been lifted from her shoulders.  

“Alex, could you, um, give us a minute?” Kara asks, never taking her eyes off Lena.  

“Sure, I’m going to go call Maggie.  I’m glad you’re back, Kara.” Alex hugs her sister before exiting the room.  

Kara walks over to Lena’s bed, she motions toward the edge, “May I?” Lena nods a mixture of anger and relief in her eyes.  

“I’m invoking our rules for this conversation.” Kara offers a half smile, trying to gauge Lena’s reaction to the slight teasing.  She catches the slightest hint of a smirk on Lena’s lips as she nods silently. 

“Lena, I’m sorry for running off like that, again.  I know it’s not an excuse, but sometimes when things in my life become overwhelming, when I feel like I can’t handle it anymore, I run.  I hide myself away  and while it’s not the best way to deal with things, it helps.  It gives me the time I need to sort thing out and regroup.  I’ve done it since I was a kid.  Again, it’s not an excuse, but an explanation. It’s not the first time I’ve done it to you, actually, it’s not even the second, but I really want it to be the last.  I don’t ever want to find myself running from you again. “  Kara tentatively reaches for Lena’s hand and she smiles when she feels Lena’s fingers slip between hers.  

“I haven’t exactly been handling all of this real well.  I’ve been trying  _ so _ hard to hold everything together, to be strong, for you. I know you have enough to worry about and I didn’t want to be one more thing added to that.  I haven’t really been sleeping, and when I have, it’s only for about an hour a night, and it’s been full of nightmares.  I should have told you about work, but I knew that if I did, you wouldn’t be happy.  I didn’t mean to argue with you about it. I’m sorry.” Kara takes a deep breath as the tears start to fall. 

“And then...then your heart stopped...you were in my arms, telling me you loved me and then you were….you were…” Kara shakes her head, not even able to say the word. “I’ve never be so scared in my entire life.  And, I couldn’t help but wonder if...if the fight had caused…” 

“Oh, Kara…” Lena squeezes Kara’s hand, but stops herself from continuing, respecting the rules. 

“I had to get away. It was too much; the knowledge that I could have lost you, forever. So I ran. I left here and went straight to the bar and got really, really drunk.  I stumbled home, drunk as I’ve ever been, and slept for a ridiculously long time. I still needed to clear my head, so I drove out to Cedarvale and walked around for hours.  I thought about all the times we had been there together, and how we watched the ducks swim in the pond during our first date.  I stood in the spot on the bridge where I kissed you that night, and I knew, perhaps more than I ever have, that you, Lena, are the only one.”  Kara looks up to see that Lena has tears streaming down her face, her eyes fiercely green. 

“Lena,  I cannot begin to express how much you have changed me, for the better.  I never believed in love, or happy endings, at least not for me.  But you walked into Clayton’s and turned my whole world upside down, and I’ve never been more thankful.  I love you, with every breath in my lungs and with every beat of my heart.  If you’ll let me, I’ll do everything in my power to make you the happiest woman in the world, to take care of your every need, to stand by your side for the rest of our lives.”  Kara slowly slides off the bed and drops to one knee beside Lena.  “Lena Luthor, will you  marry  me?”  

Lena’s eyes are as big as saucers, tears still flowing as her mouth drops open.  She simply stares at Kara, not really certain that this isn’t a dream.  

“I, uh, know I don’t have a ring and all, but I um, didn’t have time and I kinda wanted you to be able to pick it out and I understand maybe this wasn’t the  right--”  

Kara is saved from her rambling as Lena throws her arms around Kara, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.  Lena  whispers softly in Kara’s ear, “Yes.”

“Yes?” Kara pulls away, staring into Lena’s still-teary eyes. “You said yes?”

Lena nods,  “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you.”  

Kara scoops Lena up into her arms and kisses her with everything she has.  She gently lays her back in the bed and kneels beside her, grasping her hands, covering them with her own.  

“I promise you, I’ll never leave again.  I love you, always and forever. “

“No matter what?” 

“No matter what.” Kara leans down and kisses Lena over and over until they both dissolve into a fit of laughter.  Alex walks back in and finds them giggling  together.  

“I guess you, um worked everything out?” Alex asks with raised eyebrows. 

Kara looks to Lena and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear. “You could say that.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I'm not a monster. Let me know what you think!!!!


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am continually amazed at how many of you are reading and following this! THANK YOU!!! I'm not entirely certain yet, but I'm considering wrapping this up in the next few chapters. I'm getting married a week from Saturday (09/30) so if I don't, there'll be a large break in updates. Let me know what you'd prefer! As always, keep the comments and love coming! You guys are the best!!!!

“Alex, call Maggie back, tell her to get down here, and to bring dinner.” Kara says, smiling up from her place beside Lena.  Alex dials her girlfriend’s number, passing on the information Kara asked her to.  

“Are you going to explain?” Alex looks to the two giddy women in Lena’s bed.  

“Yes, but let’s wait for Maggie.” Kara smiles before turning to place a kiss on Lena’s nose. 

 

*****

 

Maggie arrives a short while later, arms full of pizza and potstickers. She drops the food on the table in the corner of the room and greets the other women with hugs, and a kiss for Alex.  

“Kara, how was your vacation?” Maggie teases.  

“Ha ha, very funny. I just needed to clear my head for awhile.” Kara looks to Lena, smiling.  

Maggie looks from Kara and Lena to Alex, “What’s going on? Did I miss something?” 

Alex shrugs, “I found them like that.” 

Lena looks to Kara and Kara nods.  “Kara asked me to marry her!” 

Alex’s face breaks into a wide grin and Maggie squeals with excitement. Hugs are given all around and they all sit enjoying dinner, and each other’s company.   Alex and Maggie leave just before eight, leaving Kara and Lena alone.  

 

*****

 

Kara lays next to Lena, drawing lazy circles on her back.  “I want us to get married in the public garden, out in Cedarvale.”  

“That sounds perfect.”  Lena kisses Kara’s cheek.  “I love you.” 

“And I love you!” Kara smiles brightly. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my entire life, and I have you to thank for that.”  Lena blushes, snuggling closer to Kara.  

“Will you stay with me tonight?” 

Kara kisses Lena’s forehead, “Of course, my love.”  Lena lays back and Kara notices the sudden shift in her expression. “What is it?”

Lena takes a deep breath, “There’s some stuff we should talk about, but everything is so perfect, I don’t want to ruin anything,”  She looks down, not wanting to see Kara’s reaction.

Kara sits up, and turns to face Lena.  “Is everything--are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, well, as fine as I can be.  Just, well, first, I don’t want you to feel like you have to take everything on ok?  You don’t have to stay here all the time. I know you want to, but I think it’s better for you to take some time to yourself too.  When you were gone, Alex and Maggie planned to take turns being with me during treatment, so maybe we can have them help out.” 

“I really don’t mind--okay. We can make a schedule.” Kara relents, knowing she can’t do things the same as before.  

“Thank you,” Lena smiles.  “I also want you to call and talk to Clayton about getting your job back.” 

“Lena,” Kara begins to protest, but quickly thinks better of it. 

“Even if you just go back part time for now, I think it will be good for you. Please?” 

“I’ll call him tomorrow.” Kara kisses Lena’s forehead. “See? That wasn’t so bad.” Lena looks away from Kara.  

“Umm, there’s one more thing.”  Lena has saved the worst for the end, knowing Kara isn’t going to want to hear what she is about to say. “My lawyer is coming tomorrow morning.  He has some papers I need to sign.”  Kara wears a confused look on her face, she shakes her head.

“Papers? What kind of papers?” 

“I, I updated some information.” Lena sighs, knowing she can’t avoid it any longer.  “It’s my will, Kara. I need to sign the changes I’ve made to my will.” 

“Your will--like if you-” Kara’s eyes fill with tears as she shakes her head, “No. No, you can’t sign something like that. That’s like admitting that--” 

“Kara, sweetie, I just need to have the peace of mind that if, IF something happens to me, that everything is taken care of, that you’re taken care of.”  Lena reaches for Kara’s hand. “I know it’s not something I want to think about, but it’s not a sign I’m giving up.  I’m just being prepared.  I promise you I’m going to fight this, okay?”

Lena looks to Kara, tears streaming down both  of their faces.  Lena pulls Kara into her arms, holding her close.  “We’re going to get married, darling.  I’ve waited my whole life for this, do you really think I’m going to miss out on it now?”  Lena feels a tearful laugh escape from Kara’s lips.  Lena kisses Kara’s forehead and wipes the tears from her eyes.  “Now, you should probably go lock the door, because I plan on fully enjoying our night together.” 

Kara stares at Lena with raised eyebrows, “Lena Luthor,  in the hospital?!” Lena smirks at Kara and immediately Kara is up locking the door. 

 

*****

 

Kara is able to return to Clayton’s without problem, starting with only two days a week.  Alex and Maggie stay with Lena during the days Kara works, but Kara joins them as soon as she finishes her shift.  As much as Kara hates being away from Lena, she knows this is the best for both of them.  

Kara peeks her head around the corner of Lena’s room.  Lena is laying in bed, Alex sitting by her side.  This round of treatment has been harder on Lena than the last one was.  Her once long, dark hair has been shaved close, something Kara knows Lena is incredibly self-conscious about.   Kara walks into the room, carrying a bag from Clayton’s.  “Hey, beautiful.” She places a kiss on Lena’s forehead.  “How are you today?”  

Lena looks up at Kara, “Better, now that you’re here.” Lena’s voice betrays how weak she actually is. Kara looks to Alex, who simply shakes her head. Kara knows that means Lena hasn’t had a good morning. Kara unpacks the food she brought, handing Alex a sandwich and placing a bowl of soup on the tray in front of Lena.  

“I brought some soup. Wanna try to have a little?” Kara slides into the chair beside Lena.  Lena nods slightly, pushing herself up on the bed.  “Hey, hey, let me help you, love.”  Kara props an extra pillow behind Lena and pushes the tray closer.  Lena reaches for the spoon, but can’t seem to will her muscles to lift it.  Kara notices and reaches for the spoon, “Here,” Kara spoons up a bit of broth and brings it to Lena’s lips.  “Clayton is trying a new recipe, so let me know what you think.” 

Kara sees a tear roll down Lena’s cheek.  Kara looks to Alex, catching her eye, silently communicating that she should step out.  Alex stands, and silently walks out of the room.  “Honey, what’s wrong?” Kara asks, stroking Lena’s cheek with her thumb. 

Lena stares off into the distance.  “I, I’m just so tired.”  

“Oh, sweetie, I know. Do you want me to let you rest?” Kara begins to pack up the soup.

“No. I’m tired of all of this.  I’m tired of not being able to make my body do what I want it to.  I’m tired of not being able to do much of anything myself. I--”  Lena turns to Kara, her green eyes dripping tears down her cheeks.  Kara can hear the edge in her voice; Lena is angry and Kara can’t blame her.  

Kara moves the tray back from the bed and without speaking, kicks her shoes off and climbs in the bed beside Lena.  She wraps her arms around the woman.  Lena attempts to fight Kara’s embrace, but after a moment, she melts into Kara’s chest, sobbing loudly.  Kara rubs Lena’s back, whispering words of comfort in her ear.  “Shhh…I’ve got you. I’m right here.”  Kara holds Lena until the crying stops and her breathing steadies. Kara looks down at the now sleeping woman in her arms and wishes more than anything she could take her place. 


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it; we've come to the end of this journey....

Lena flails in her sleep and whimpers, clearly in distress.  Kara wakes with a start and turns to comfort her girlfriend.  “It’s okay Lena, it’s only a nightmare.  You’re safe. I’m here.  It’s okay love, you’re safe.” Lena wakes from her fitful sleep and Kara holds her close, rubbing her back, whispering over and over, “You’re safe. You’re safe.”  Lena settles into Kara’s arms and before long, she drifts off to sleep, Kara following shortly after. 

 

*****

 

Kara wakes before Lena, not daring to move lest she disturb her.  Lena has had nightmares the past three nights, and Kara is worried.  Lena stirs and Kara rubs her back, prepared to soothe her back to sleep.  This is different though, Lena isn’t having a nightmare, she’s waking up. Kara speaks softly, not wanting to startle the green eyed woman.  “Good morning, beautiful.”  Kara kisses Lena’s forehead. Kara slides out of the bed and moves to help Lena sit up. 

“You don’t have to call me that.” Lena grumbles.  

“Why wouldn’t I? You are. Beautiful.”  Lena runs her fingers over a wispy patch of  dark hair. 

“Look at me? I look terrible. I don’t even know why you’re still here.” Kara tries not to react too strongly to Lena’s words.  She knows this is only Lena’s frustration talking. Kara crouches in front of Lena, forcing the smaller woman to look at her.  

“Lena, I  _ am _ looking at you, and what I see is  _ absolutely beautiful _ .  I see a woman who refuses to give up, a fighter.  I see a woman who has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known.  I see a woman who loved me, even when I was at my most unlovable.  I see a woman with eyes, a fierce shade of green, that with one look can bring me to my knees.  I see a woman with lips soft and kissable, yet hungry and passionate all at the same time.  I see a woman who I will have the honor and privilege of calling my wife.  I see a woman who I will get to stand before friends and family with and declare my love to.  I see a woman who takes my breath away every moment of every day.”  Kara kisses Lena softly.  “You, my love, are the most beautiful woman in the world and I hate to tell you, but you’re kinda stuck with me.” Lena wipes a tear from her eye with a slight laugh at Kara’s last statement.  Kara smiles as she sees the smile return to Lena’s face, a sight Kara will never tire of. 

 

*****

 

“Kara, you’re supposed to be at work.” Lena scolds lightly. 

“Lena, it’s your last day of treatment, there’s NO WAY I’d be anywhere but here. “  Kara squeezes Lena’s hand, giving her a smile.  

“For now.” Lena whispers under her breath. 

“What’s that?” 

“Nothing.”  Lena looks away from Kara’s gaze. 

“Lena, honey, you can tell me, what’s bothering you love?” 

“Just,” Lena looks back to Kara, “what if it’s  _ not _ my last treatment..what if I have to do this all again.”  

Kara wraps Lena in her arms.  “Well, we’ll deal with that if it comes to it. But, until then, we focus on today, and today is your last treatment.” Kara kisses Lena’s nose, eliciting a giggle from the woman.  “Yup, gets you everytime.” Kara muses. 

 

*****

 

Kara pushes Lena’s wheelchair down the hall back toward her room, her second round of treatment finally finished.  Lena looks up as she rounds the corner and cannot believe what she sees.  Her entire room is filled with flowers and balloons.  Maggie and Alex stand with goofy party hats and those little blower things.  “Surprise!!!!” Lena looks toward her bed and sees the banner hanging over it,   _ Happy Last Day of Treatment!  _

Lena looks over her shoulder to Kara, “You? You did all this?” A tear slowly rolling down her cheek.

“Well, Alex and Maggie set everything up, but yeah.” Kara smiles.  Lena leans forward and pulls Kara in for a kiss.  

“Thank you.”  Lena smiles. 

 

*****

 

Kara is about to leave work when her phone rings.  She looks at the screen and quickly answers the call. 

“Alex? What is it, is something wrong with--” Kara rushes her words in a panic.

“Kara, breathe.  Everything’s fine.  I just, need you to come get Maggie and I.   We drove out to that garden you and Lena are always talking about and now my car kinda won’t start.”   

“Okay, yeah I’ll come. Wait, aren’t you supposed to be with Lena?” Kara grabs her things and makes her way out of the cafe.  “Alex, I only agreed to go back to work because you PROMISED that you or Maggie would stay with Lena. I can’t believe--” 

“Kara, relax.  Lena told us to go.  She made us leave like an hour ago because she knew you’d be on your way.”  

“Whatever, you still shouldn’t have--I’m on my way. I gotta call Lena and tell her I’ll be late.”  Kara sighs, hanging up the phone. 

Kara dials Lena’s number and waits for the call to connect. 

“Hey darling, how was work?” 

“Hey Lena, it was fine. Um, so I’m going to be a little late coming over to see you.  Alex’s car won’t start and I’ve got to go get her and Maggie.  I’m so mad at her right now. I can’t believe she left you alone.” 

“Kara, sweetie, I’m fine.  I told them to go.  I’ll be fine by myself for a little bit ok?” 

“Okay, but I still don’t like it.” 

“I know. I’ll see you soon. I love you.” 

“I love you more.” Kara teases before hanging up the phone and sliding into the driver’s seat of Lena’s car.  She’s been using Lena’s car since she went back to work, making her commute to and from the hospital so much easier.  She starts the engine and heads in the direction of Cedarvale.  

 

*****

 

Kara pulls up and parks next to Alex’s car.  She steps out of her car and looks around for Alex and Maggie, but they are nowhere to be found.  Kara dials Alex’s number. The phone rings and rings but then straight to voicemail.  She walks around to the driver’s side of Alex’s car and sees a note tucked into the frame of the window.   _ We’re in the park. Come get us when you get here.  _  Kara rolls her eyes and mutters to herself.  

“Cause it’s not like I’ve got anywhere to be.” She turns toward the park in search of her sister. 

She can’t help but smile as she passes by places her and Lena have stood themselves.  She can’t wait to come back here with Lena, to plan their wedding here, to marry her here.  She quickens her pace and turns toward the pond.  She sees Alex and Maggie standing at the end of the bridge and heads in their direction. 

“There you are.” Kara calls out.  Alex and Maggie smile at Kara. “Come on, let’s go, I’ve got to get back to the hospital.”  

“No you don’t.” A familiar voice speaks out from behind Kara. 

“Lena?” Kara turns toward the voice. “Lena, what are you doing?” She turns back toward Alex and Maggie, “Did you two break her out? I’m going to kill--” 

Lena puts her hand on Kara’s arm, instantly breaking the blonde from her rambling threat.  “Kara, darling, relax. They didn’t break me out.” 

“Then how--what’s going on?”  Kara steps back for a minute, trying to figure things out. 

“Kara, my doctor came by to see me while you were at work. He had the results of my bloodwork.” 

Kara’s face fills with worry, “Is it--do you need more--” Her eyes begin to fill with tears as Lena cuts her off. 

Lena shakes her head, and takes Kara’s hands, “Kara, it worked.” 

“It worked?” 

“It worked.” Lena nods her head as tears stream down her face. “No more treatment.” 

Kara scoops Lena into her arms, lifting her off the ground, spinning her around.  She places Lena back down and stands  holding her in her arms, both crying tears of joy and relief. Kara kisses Lena, tears still dripping down their cheeks. 

Lena steps back, wiping the tears from her face.  She takes Kara’s hands and looks into her eyes. 

“Thank you, Kara, for standing by my side throughout all of this.  I could not have done this if it weren’t for you.”  

“Oh Lena, I-” 

“Kara, you are the most amazing woman that I have ever met.  I cannot believe how much I’ve seen you grow and change in the time we’ve been together.  You have overcome everything life has thrown at you and I am beyond proud of you and who you are.”  Lena wipes a tear from her own cheek before continuing.

“I knew there was something special about you from the moment that I first met you.  I never imagined that life would lead us down the path that it has, but I am so thankful for it, even with all of the bumps along the way.  You, Kara, are still my safe place and are everything I have ever hoped for and more, and I know that there isn’t anything we can’t face together.  I love you, more than life itself and there is nothing that will ever change that.”  

Kara watches as Lena drops to her knee, tears still streaming down both of their faces.  Lena reaches forward, opening a small box, presenting it to Kara. “Kara Danvers, will you marry  _ me _ ?” 

Kara drops to her knees before Lena, “Yes. Yes, of course I’ll marry you.” Kara leans forward and places a kiss to Lena’s soft lips.  Lena slips the ring on Kara’s finger with trembling hands.  

“Always and forever.” Lena vows.

“No matter what?” 

“No matter what.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT thank you all enough for following along and reading this. I have loved reading each and every comment, and watching you take this journey with me. I sincerely hope that I've done this story justice. I cannot wait to write more! I hope you'll join me for my next adventure, wherever that takes us! Please let me know what you think.   
>  Much Love Always,   
> Amanda


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